BodyNSoul Mismatch

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9/25/06  I received the last of the Wish Center records today and faxed them to Virginia Mason's Insurance Submittal person.  Guess it is in the hands of them and the insurance now. 

I got a magic bullet for my birthday and I am loving it. I need to get some WLS specific recipes for it though.  For now, I am enjoying all the full sugar recipes that came with it. 

9/18/06  I am 34 today.  Today was the day I was supposed to have my surgery at Wish Center.  I was so psyched about it because I thought it was very fitting to have my WL B-day on my real b-day, but that did not work out.  Oh well, at least I get to eat my birthday cake!

I wish things were looking up here.  Spiritually I am dry and I feel like my heart is hard.  So many things up in the air and no resolution.  Things that have resolved have been bad.  My church closing, me losing both of my jobs, my husband getting passed up AGAIN for a promotion. This whole surgery thing.  I am begging for a break through here.  I do not want to have to endure this valley one more day!  Things could be worse.  I just keep counting my blessings.

I thank God for the most wonderful husband and 2 terrific little boys that keep me going and for my friends and family who truly try to make things better in spite of all the bad that seems to be happening. 

More later.

9/14/06  If it flops like a fish and smells like a fish, it is probably fishy and the Wish, a.k.a. Fish Center, does stink.  They have a new message on their machine.  Now they are temporarily closed.  WHATEVER!  Thank you Lord for protecting me from surgery with them.   Ease the burden of those that have lost their investments of time and money and for those struggling for post-op care.  As for me, I am moving on.  I have a call into a new doc.  Should hear today about an appointment for next week.  If I can get my records from "Fish" then I might be having surgery the first part of October.  I am still guarded, not getting my hopes up at this point.  If this one falls through I am going to let it go till January and start over.

9/13/06 So, I have been getting emails from people wanting to know where my posts on the Wish "Fish" Center had gone.  I figured I would just let you all know from here that my "posts have beeen pulled for further investigation".  Oh, and all of my posts are being moderated now.  They do not appear until they have been approved by the moderator.  I am not sure why I am being moderated for telling the truth and trying to give other people information so they can make an informed decision.  Afterall, no one pulled all the stuff about Hank's Finest protein.  But, whatever.  That is what is happening in case you were wondering.

9/11/06  I wish I was updating with better news.  The Wish Center closed to move their offices 2 weeks ago and still are not opened.  The insurance is missing some clinical paperwork and can't reach anyone there.  Aetna said that they had my surgery scheduled for 9/18 but I have not heard from the Wish Center so I guess that is not the case.  I have called, emailed, contacted the corporate office and the hospital.  Nothing....Nada....Zip.   So, I have really been questioning if this is just a door closing.  Maybe I should not think about surgery anymore.  I am still praying about what will happen next, but in the meantime, I have an appointment with a new Dr. on 9/22.  This means I will probably have to start all over and his surgical schedule is full till November.  ARGHHHHH!!!!!   Life remains in limbo. 

I do know I have to do something.  I was at my husband's family gathering over Labor Day weekend.  I stood for a photo against my will but figured it would be a good "before".  It was!  It made me realize a couple of things.  1) I have to do something. I can't quit now.  Whether it is trying to diet more or surgery, something has to be done. 2) I always complain about people not noticing my eyes.  Well DUH!  I spent so much time being horrified by my body in the picture, even I did not look at my eyes.  If I don't, how can I expect anyone else to.  So, for inspiration, I have altered that photo.  It is in the gallery on the left.

8/18/06 All Done!!! I just got back from the Wish Center where I got the last month of my food and exercise logs copied and I got my final Aetna weigh in. Now, all we need to do is submit it to the insurance. I understand that it could take as much as 3 weeks for Aetna to make a determination. Keep you posted!

7/28/06 Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Las Vegas, Lake Havasu, AZ, Camping in Skykomish National Forest ....... Boy that was a long month. But it was great. I hated needing a seatbelt extension on the airplane. So many things I did not do because I was scared I would embarass myself when I didn't fit (like roller coaster rides). It made me wish I was getting the surgery tomorrow. I am so done being in prison.

I had my aetna practice diet check in while I was gone. I spoke with the wish center today and all my preop goals are met ! :) August 17th marks my last day of the Aetna required practice diet. Then, they are supposed to contact my insurance for pre-certification. I pray that I get the approval I am so desperate for. Only a couple more weeks to go! Keep you posted.

6/23/06 I got the results of my psych eval today. Yeah.... I am normal. Not just normal but a "strong normal". I was worried those 400 questions just seemed crazy. Turns out they were and I am not. This wraps up all my preop goals. The cardiologist gave me cardiac clearance and refused to give me the stress test that the surgeon asked for. So, if he pushes the point I might still have to do that. Now to follow up with all the docs and get that paperwork to the wish center. I still have 2 months on the practice diet. 1 month down and I have lost ....... {drumroll} ........... 0! I know the goal is not to lose weight but come on. I am drinking half the amount of Mountain Dew I normally do and exercising 6 times a week. That has to be 500 calories less a day. You would think just a little weight would come off. It just assures me further that surgery is the way to go. I am getting excited but trying to guard it just in case.

 

6/15/06 I go to the Wish Center today for an Aetna required weigh in and to give them my food logs. Then have to have a conference call with the dietitian and exercise physiologist tomorrow.
I have had all of my preop appointments. I have one more next week to get the results of my psych eval. And maybe one more for a stress test if the surgeon requires it after getting the cardiac release from the cardiologist.
3 years ago I thought "I am going to lose this weight myself and be proud because I worked so hard" vs. the easy way out with surgery. Here I am 3 years later, 20 pounds heavier. My body is succumbing to my high stress lifestyle (2 part time jobs from home while taking care of my 2 kids 9 and 2). I am losing my hair, having PVC's, Ocular Migraines, TMJ, and elevated blood pressure. I need to relieve my stress and my biggest stress is my obesity. Surgery is the only way for me and I am realizing this is NOT the easy way out. And I am glad. The hard work will make me appreciate it that much more.

I uploaded a new photo. It was just taken 6/11/06. It was the last formal service of our church because it closed. I was the worship leader and many other things so I have to find a job after summer and the surgery. I think it will be difficult to get someone to hire me because of my weight. But I pray that problem will be taken care of soon. If all goes according to the wish center plan then my surgery will be the first part of September. If Aetna does not approve my surgery for some reason I will be devestated.