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Well, it is hard to believe. Today is my one year surgiversary. This past year has gone by so fast. It seems so surreal. I am down 127.75 lbs from my highest known weight. I never really thought that this would happen and now I am about 75 lbs away from goal. The weight loss has slowed down and it's a little frustrating, but according to Dr. Starr that will happen. The next step is getting rid of my panni and that will happen later than I really hoped as I need to get a job to get the money to do it. So, here's to hoping I get the job I have the interview for next week at Disability. Because of my panni, I am frustrated as well as I am still in a 24/26 bottoms and I feel like I haven't lost anything there. I know I have because I have finally found my old measurements and had mine recently taken. I have lost a total of 71.75 inches, with 25.5 coming off my hips. I just want to really see it. So, I have another consultation with another plastic surgeon at the beginning of August and we'll see what he says and I'll go from there. This is by far the best thing I have ever done for myself and would do it again in a heartbeat. I am so thankful for all the support I have gotten from my family and friends. I couldn't have done it without all of you.

Who would think a walk across the street could make such an incredible change in someone’s life? This is how I came to the first TOPS meeting at the end of March 2003. I knew I needed to do something about my weight, but it was always, “I’ll do something later.” Later became now. I had started looking at the TOPS website and found out there was a chapter that met at the church across the street from where I live. I knew of TOPS, as my mother had been her Chapter Queen when I was growing up. I can remember walking into the church hall and coming down the stairs. The current leader, Patricia Antonio asked me if I was someone, whose name I have forgotten, and told her no, but I was looking into joining TOPS. I didn’t know anyone in the Chapter, but I now consider the members of #ON1181, Niagara Falls, my extended family. Some of my closest friends are here. I struggled with my weight loss. At first, I was going outside of the meeting to get weighed, as I was heavier than what the scale went up to. I can remember going with Pat to a nursing home to get weighed on the wheelchair accessible scale and crying. Not tears of sadness, but of joy because I didn’t weigh as much as I thought. It was a start. I knew where to go from there. A friend, Lucy Zenga, was kind enough to bring me her scale from home so that I could get weighed each week. Over the next two and a half years, I floundered. I lost close to 36 lbs only to gain all but 5 lbs of it back. In November 2005, I decided that gastric bypass surgery was the only way the weight was going to come off. I was sick of struggling week after week, gaining and losing the same 5-10 lbs. I met with the surgeon, who changed my life. I had surgery June 26, 2006, and the rest as they say is history. There are some people out there who think that having this surgery is taking the easy way out. I am here to say, it isn’t. I came through the surgery with flying colours, but at three months out, I was lucky to keep food down. I wondered what I had done to myself. But I don’t regret this decision for one moment. I can climb the 3 flights of stairs to my apartment without feeling like I am going to pass out by the time I reach the top. I go to the YMCA and I am able to walk to it. I actually don’t mind it, I just have a hard time walking home again after a good workout. Clothes shopping is almost totally enjoyable! Who’d have thought that?! I am so grateful to be a part of such an amazing organization. My next goal – to go to Cedar Point in Ohio to ride the roller coasters this summer. I can’t wait.

A few things are happening for me this month. The first was the TOPS Provincial Recognition Days in Kitchener. What an amazing experience. I had a good time and things went really well. It was a little nerve wracking standing in the middle of the stage having someone read your story. The only thing was that they had edited a couple of things out of what I had written that I wish they hadn't. Oh well.

The next thing is that I see the plastic surgeon on Friday. It has come up pretty fast. I am not getting my hopes up though. I am afraid that he won't want to do the panniculectomy because I still have weight to lose. I don't know if I am being unrealistic about getting to 150 lbs. I will talk to Dr. Starr when I see him Friday as well.

The last thing coming this month is my one year surgiversary. Where has the last year gone? I was at my parent's house on the weekend and I commented that I hadn't had mashed potatoes in awhile and my mom laughed because I had so much of them after surgery. I am at a bit of a stall and it is kind of freaking me out. I will hit the same weight for the fourth time this week, provided I have lost. I am happy with the amount that I have lost, 124 lbs from my highest. I know I couldn't have done it without the surgery. I have gotten my life back.

I will post more after my appointments on Friday.

Wow!  What a day.  I went to TOPS this morning and I weighed in with a gain of 2.5 lbs.  I was kind of frustrated because I actually made it back to the gym three times this week and did some walking.  I know part of it has to do with the fact that I weighed in on a different scale for the past three weeks while I was away and the fact that our chapter has moved the location of the scale.  So, I can't be too disappointed, I guess.  The better part of my day was after weigh in.  We had our annual awards for 2006.  I was recognized as Division 9 winner (which makes me chuckle because I am the only one in the division) for a loss of 81.5 lbs.  I changed divisions once I had my gastric bypass surgery.  I was also awarded chapter best achiever for a loss of 96.5 lbs, which is the total I lost for the whole year.  I will post pictures from today once I get them, hopefully next week.  My other news is that I will be recognized at PRD in Kitchener this June for Provincial Division 9 Winner.  I can't believe it.  I am happy, nervous, excited.  I don't know how I am going to be able to stand up in front of about 3000 people.  I know, cross that bridge when I get to it.  Next week, I start as our chapter weight recorder, so I am hoping this will keep me on track.

This past week, I accomplished something that I have wanted to do for awhile now.  I got on a plane.  I fit into the seat, but still needed an extender for the belt as it was about two inches too short.  I am hoping that it will be a bit better when I return.

I found a TOPS chapter here in Chilliwack and was able to get weighed in this morning.  I lost another 3 lbs this week, for a total of 119.5 lbs gone.  I am 8.25 lbs from my next goal to be under 250 lbs.  I am hoping to do it before I get home.  So that means I need to get my butt to the gym or get out for a walk.

Things are definitely getting better.  I went to my family doc before I left for my annual physical and she is absolutely ecstatic about my progress.  She is giving me a referral to a plastic surgeon in Burlington to see about having a panniculectomy and breast reduction surgery.  My panni was really bad last week and I can't wait until I am almost at goal to have it done.  It is hanging halfway to my knees and when I am sitting down, I feel like I am still at my heaviest weight.  I know in my head I am smaller, but it doesn't look like it.  So we will see what he has to say.  I hope that he will do it.

I am struggling with motivation lately.  I know what I need to do to lose weight, but I am having a hard time getting myself going.  I need to be going to the gym more regularly.  I have seen the benefits of doing so on the scales.  I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in two weeks.  I was so good at setting up a routine when I was pre-op because I knew I'd have a hard time starting after surgery.  But here I am, almost seven and a half months out and I am only down 12 lbs since the middle of November, when I hit the century club.  I know part of it is the fact that it is too freaking cold to walk there, which I can do and have done.  Tomorrow is another day and I will get back on track.  I caught part of Oprah today and I am having my dad tape the whole episode for me, and the topic was the movie and book called The Secret.  I have seen the movie and it is essentially about getting all that you need about life.  You get what you put out into the universe.  So basically, if you put out negative thoughts, negative things are going to happen, likewise if you put out positive thoughts, good things will happen and you have to believe it.  I have to get to the point that I know that I deserve to be happy and healthy.  I choose to be happy and whole and healthy and I deserve it.  It's weird that after reading the post by Erin about Anna Nicole has affected me so much.  I don't know her, but I know she had gone through a lot, especially in the past 5 months.  It's amazing how much the media can influence what we think about someone we have never met.  I know I am off on a bunch of different tangents.  I have a lot going on in my mind apparently.  I need to re-evaluate my life and know that I have accomplished a lot in the past year or so and I am only improving myself.  If anyone has the chance to watch The Secret, I highly recommend it.  It is very powerful.  You can get more information on it at www.thesecret.tv

Merry Christmas!  I hope everyone had a good holiday.  I know I did.  It's time for me to post another update.  My father keeps me on my toes and tells me it's time to add more. lol.

Well, where do I start?  I am now 6 months post-op and I am feeling pretty good.  I still have days where I feel like I haven't lost any weight and look exactly the same.  It's almost like I don't believe the numbers on the scale.  I am down 106.5 lbs, but I don't see it.  It's weird because I know I can get into clothes that I couldn't before and according to my pcp, this is the smallest that I have been in over 10 years.  Physically, I feel great.  I can do more than I ever could before surgery.  I loaded our car on Christmas morning to go our parent's and it took 3 trips up and down 3 flights of stairs and I wasn't exhausted or out of breath.  There was no way that I could have done that last year.  So, I am proud of my accomplishments.  I know it wouldn't have happened without the surgery.  It was a definite lifesaver for me.  It's now time for me to get up off my butt and do more exercising to get rid of my gut.  That is where it has been hard for me to see that I have lost weight.  So, I will be off to the gym this evening and I get weighed in in the morning.

I did it!!!!  I have now lost 100 lbs.  I can't believe it.  I feel great.  Things are getting easier to do and I am getting into smaller clothes.  I have gone from a size 32/5x to now being able to wear size 26 pants and between 2x and 4x tops.  I saw the surgeon on Friday for an appointment and he is pleased with my progress,  I am right on target, for what he is looking for.  I told him even though I went through a bit just over a month ago, with throwing up all the time, I knew it would pass and it did.  This was the best decision I have ever made and would make it again in a heartbeat.  Now I just want to be able to handle milk again.  I have been using Lactaid milk, but it's just not the same. lol.  For the first time I am able to put aside clothes for others.  It's a weird feeling having someone ask me to keep things for them.  It's all good.

Well, yesterday was my four month surgiversary.  I have now lost 98 lbs, with 73 lbs since surgery.  I can't believe it.  I felt my hip bone for the first time Wednesday night when I was lying in bed.  I couldn't figure out what was so hard on my side.  lol.  And my clothes are getting too big.  It's good, but bad, too because I don't have enough pants.  I don't want to go out and spend a fortune on clothes that won't fit soon.  I think I need to hit Goodwill or Value Village.  Maybe I'll have some luck there.

I am almost at my four month anniversary.  It is so hard to believe.  It seems like just a month ago that I had the surgery.  Things are slowly getting better.  I am not throwing up as much as I was.  It was starting to freak me out a little.  But I am now down a total of 94 lbs.  I was hoping to be down 6 lbs this week for my 4 months, but I don't think it's going to happen.  My clothes are getting bigger.  I tried on my winter jacket the other day and it looks absolutely ridiculous.  It is too big.  It's hard to believe that it used to be tight on me and now I can almost fit one and a half of me in it!  I am almost halfway to my goal.  My BMI has gone from 62.9 at my highest weight of 377.5 to my current BMI of 47.1.  Unbelievable.  I am getting pictures taken every month and as I get them I will add them to my profile.  I hope everyone else is doing well and I hope to see you all at the Gala next month.