heybiggirl
water wall fountain in waiting area?!?
Jun 24, 2008
I thought I'd make a soundtrack to my life sort of thing. To get the full effect of how I'm feelin' right now, press play, & listen to this song while you read :)
If it wasn't bad enough they took my picture before securing a band on my left wrist, I found myself waiting...nervous. It hit me: I'M GETTING THE SURGERY
My best friend enjoyed pictures of my adventure at the hospital. I sent them all very quickly after snapping them with my camera phone. I must have looked like a tourist...looking around...snapping pictures...but I just couldn't help it! Words aren't necessary to describe the hospital so some visuals ought to do:
This is the hospital I will having the surgery in. You can't really see but that's a wall fountain on that right wall there.Also there is a piano in the distance. It looks more like a hotel than a hospital
Oh and they have glass sliding doors for at least the admissions room. I felt like I was in a movie. Amazing. I'm very impressed with this hospital.
Following doctor's orders, here I was getting a psych evaluation, and visiting my nutritionist for the first time.
A small dark haired woman with a petite frame appeared in the hallway introducing herself as my nutritionist. Neatly on top of my nervousness was excitement at that point.
I shook my nutritionist's hand and followed her to the room that held the beginning to my new life.
I verbally helped her fill out her questionnaire. We briefly discussed my background, health history, and eating habits. Apart of the quiz asked about my weight. The Doctor then asked me to "hop up on the scale".
I kind of laughed to myself thinking, "I wish I would hop".
Funny enough, I was surprised as I watched the digital numbers flux. I was afraid of that. I didn't think I weighed that much. The scale read 372. Now that I know, you know too.
If it wasn't bad enough they took my picture before securing a band on my left wrist, I found myself waiting...nervous. It hit me: I'M GETTING THE SURGERY
My best friend enjoyed pictures of my adventure at the hospital. I sent them all very quickly after snapping them with my camera phone. I must have looked like a tourist...looking around...snapping pictures...but I just couldn't help it! Words aren't necessary to describe the hospital so some visuals ought to do:
This is the hospital I will having the surgery in. You can't really see but that's a wall fountain on that right wall there.Also there is a piano in the distance. It looks more like a hotel than a hospital
Oh and they have glass sliding doors for at least the admissions room. I felt like I was in a movie. Amazing. I'm very impressed with this hospital.Following doctor's orders, here I was getting a psych evaluation, and visiting my nutritionist for the first time.
A small dark haired woman with a petite frame appeared in the hallway introducing herself as my nutritionist. Neatly on top of my nervousness was excitement at that point.
I shook my nutritionist's hand and followed her to the room that held the beginning to my new life.
I verbally helped her fill out her questionnaire. We briefly discussed my background, health history, and eating habits. Apart of the quiz asked about my weight. The Doctor then asked me to "hop up on the scale".
I kind of laughed to myself thinking, "I wish I would hop".
Funny enough, I was surprised as I watched the digital numbers flux. I was afraid of that. I didn't think I weighed that much. The scale read 372. Now that I know, you know too.
Up, up, and away!
Jun 02, 2008
After I interviewed today I took an assessment. I was unable to breathe easy due to a case of anxiety about whether or not I passed. Soooo I was nervous. Sooo I called my Mama =0)
Mama said "oohh don't worry I know you passed it". I breathed then for what felt like my first time sipping delicious air. Gulp in....and a slow drawn out exhale. In the back of my mind I I think I knew she was right. I just couldn't convince myself otherwise.
Besides, after slacking the past couple of weeks, I have gotten into a shapely pattern of sleeping in and enduring pure laziness. I'm not in a rush to get to work to be real honest. But at the same time I know better. Being a slob sure aint no part time job and it's only fun while it lasts.
The great part of me writing this whole entry is to say:
I just received an email stating that I passed the assessment and was given an opportunity to look over some job postings that I might be interested in. I've got an extra large smile on my face as I type.
Mama said I should go for something challenging as I'm still young the experience will come in handy later.
But Mama.....I'm scared to do something challenging.
I guess thats all the reason I need to just take your advice. This may be something I need.
Mama said "oohh don't worry I know you passed it". I breathed then for what felt like my first time sipping delicious air. Gulp in....and a slow drawn out exhale. In the back of my mind I I think I knew she was right. I just couldn't convince myself otherwise.
Besides, after slacking the past couple of weeks, I have gotten into a shapely pattern of sleeping in and enduring pure laziness. I'm not in a rush to get to work to be real honest. But at the same time I know better. Being a slob sure aint no part time job and it's only fun while it lasts.
The great part of me writing this whole entry is to say:
I just received an email stating that I passed the assessment and was given an opportunity to look over some job postings that I might be interested in. I've got an extra large smile on my face as I type.
Mama said I should go for something challenging as I'm still young the experience will come in handy later.
But Mama.....I'm scared to do something challenging.
I guess thats all the reason I need to just take your advice. This may be something I need.
Depression hurts...
Jun 01, 2008
Lately I've been so incredibly lazy due to the fact that I'm unmotivated and depressed. Interesting enough the only person supporting me is that last person I would have imagined. It's really a nice turnaround.
I've gained since I've started this blog. I'll have numbers when I visit the doctor's office again. Almost forgot to add that I spoke to my general doctor about the surgery and he had a positive attitude. He sat down and talked with me for a moment and then wrote me up a letter to give to insurance & bypass surgeon. The first step was to attend a seminar and now I've completed the second.
I've been really taking my time doing EVERYTHING these past couple of weeks. Every since I lost my job early May, I've been out of it. I'm like a zombie.... I don't sleep nights. My eating pattern is self explanatory. I don't leave the house often. I have aches and pains. And lastly, I have no motivation at all whatsoever to do anything.
I splurged on goods and even bought myself a new bed with hopes of sleeping better and waking up less sore. After my mattress comes in, I plan to rearrange my bedroom to a more suitable liking. I know I'll feel like it's my birthday when I open all those boxes of stuffs I ordered this week.....Downside is that I know I'll be suffering from buyer's remorse when it settles that I really shouldn't have spent that money like that lol.
I need my confidence back. Sometimes I don't even want to go outside and that's not like me. Anxiety is really something, hmm?
I think I need a support group or something..I really can't go on like this. I think it's obvious enough I don't enjoy feeling like this. I still have a positive attitude so I know I'll get through this....just when is the question
Oh and I have an interview today x fingers
My third step is to set up an appointment with my gastric bypass surgeon. & sometime in the near future I'll need to get a gym membership as well as a personal trainer.
Getting there...
May 01, 2008
Me and my dad sat in on a weight loss surgery seminar.
As someone who has been diagnosed with ADD, I payed as
much attention as I could.
Today I took off from work and made some phone calls.
I set up an appointment with my primary physician for next week.
As someone who has been diagnosed with ADD, I payed as
much attention as I could.
Today I took off from work and made some phone calls.
I set up an appointment with my primary physician for next week.
