Heather L.

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I'm still alive and kicking.  Life really flies when you have some energy.

I'm still enjoying being a mom to four wonderful kids. My husband and I are looking at buying a house right now.

Healthwise, I've had some female problems and I might possibly be facing and second back surgery.  I had an MRI on July 24th and will find out more on August 8th.

I was hovering around the 155 mark, however I've been put back on some medication for my back that causes some weight gain so I'm up to 160 - 162 right now and trying to get a hold on things.

Overall, it's been a little bumpy the last little bit (watched my granny die in March), but I'm still moving along. My kids and husband keep me going.

01/03/07 - So much has happened to me over the past year.

1.  I made it to my goal
2.  Got engaged on February 3rd.
3.  Had back surgery on February 14th.
4.  Got married on March 18th.
5.  Had two more kids in March (my two stepsons, Lucas and Willie) so I'm now the proud momma of four.
6.  Fought with doctors regarding my health and becoming convinced that my gastric bypass had made me sick before figuring out that it was only allergies made more pronounced by my post op diet.
7.  Admitted that I had a problem with anorexia and began dealing with it and my body issues (this is a biggie for me).

Overall, I'm happier than I've been in years.  I'm enjoying my role as a minivan mom with four kids and I'm happy to have found and married my best friend.  Here's to 2007 because I believe that the best is yet to come!

12/19/06 - Well, I have some news:

Good news - I finally found a doctor who won't just shove a bunch of antibiotics in my hand and then blame my WLS because they didn't work to clear me up.

Good news - They have finally discovered why I'm staying sick with sinuses and headaches. It's allergies.

Bad news - I'm allergic to the two things that help me get my protein in, milk (I drink at least a half of a gallon a day and sometimes drink a whole gallon before the day is done) and peanuts (these are usually my brunch snack as a protein boost). I'm also allergic to chocolate, wheat, yeast, corn, a bunch of different weeds, and penicillin.

Bad news - Now I must find a way to get around this hump. My diet seems to rely on milk and peanuts for protein. Meat just doesn't appeal to me anymore. My husband has even remarked that I must be a "closet vegetarian". I'm not sure what to eat and drink now (hint, hint for suggestions here).

Best news - Ever since I had gastric bypass I have been getting sicker and sicker with different issues, but one of the main ones was the sinuses, colds, and headaches. Everyone was beginning to blame the WLS for my downward spiral, however these allergy test proved something. I've probably been allergic to this stuff all along, however, pre-op, I didn't rely on these foods as my main staple. I relied on diet Mountain Dew to drink and scarfing down greasy burgers. Now, I drink a TON of milk everyday and eats peanuts or peanut butter on a daily basis. Therefore (adjusts her Sherlock Holmes cap), we can conclude that WLS did not cause me to get sick, it was merely the unassuming tool who helped bring to light these allergies.

12/11/06 - Once again I was back at the ER this weekend.  After a bag of IVs and IV antibiotics, I was free to go. 

This started with a simple cold again.  Then turned to an ear / sinus infection.  I went to my PCP on Tuesday and he gave me antibiotics.  I asked for liquids since last time around I didn't seem to get the benefits of the capsules and ended up in the hospital with pneumonia.  Actually, I begged for a shot so that they would get into my system for sure, but PCP wouldn't go for that.  By Friday night, I had lost my voice and it had moved to my glands in my throat and my chest.  I was also dehydrated (again) even though I thought that I was drinking like a fish!  

I'm getting so frustrated with the doctors in this rinky-dink town.  They all want to blame all of my problems on my gastric bypass surgery.  I'm so tired of educating them all on the facts / myths of WLS.

10/11/06 - Well, after my "cyber-paper" confession about my struggles with anorexia, and the wonderful words of encouragement from my OH family (especially the 2005 Maysters), I have to admit that I have done better the last couple of days. I even broke down and bought some of the Unjury protein and it's not to shabby if I do say so myself! My protein count for the last three days has been around 50. Horrible still I know, however this for me is huge compared to the 0 I have been getting. I'm shooting for 60 today and so far at 9:36AM, I've already gotten around 26 in so I am well on my way.
Oscar (the grouchy pouch once again) has definitely shrunk up and it's almost been like starting over and teaching him to accept food again. I'm not completely back on liquids, but softer foods do better.
The scales went up 2 pounds and at first, I completely freaked. Then my loving husband said, "Fine, lose those two pounds again and die." Harsh words, but actually just what the doctor ordered. I need those swift kicks in the arse to get me going.
I have an appointment with the new OB/GYN in my doctor's office for today. She's a WLS grad (5 years out) herself and I've made up my mind that if I cannot bring myself to say the words to her, I'm going to print out my confession and give it to her so that I can get the help that I need. I know that although the last couple of days have been better, I'm still a long way from a full recovery and I will have bad days again.

 

10/06/06 – Well, it’s time for me to admit it.  I have a problem that I have been fighting the last three to four months or so, and it’s getting worse.  I’ve finally admitted that I have a problem and it’s time for me to deal with it.  My name is Heather and I am anorexic.  This is why my health has truly been screwed up lately, and it’s taken a lot, but I realized finally that I have to recognize what is truly going on and deal with it. 

 

I’ve tried to blame my issues on the lack of vitamins, etc.  However, the truth of the matter is that not only do I not take my vitamins, but I don’t eat and when I do, I throw up.  Yes, this is all on purpose, and yes, I know that this is extremely unhealthy.  I never came into this surgery expecting washboard abs, but as the weight drops leaving me these hideous flaps of skin, it has taken a toll on me psychologically.  I feel like I’ve worked so hard to get here and then I look in the mirror and see a horribly grotesque site.  My husband (I really don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t for him) keeps telling me that I must be looking into some strange mirror because he only sees a beautiful skinny woman.  This whole body dismorphia thing is so complex.  I wish I could see the same person that everyone else sees.

 

I hate eating anymore.  There’s nothing out there that even remotely enjoy eating or drinking anymore.  Feeding my body has become a chore.  Hopefully, getting this all down on “cyber paper” will help me begin the process of recovery.  Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

09/26/06 - I was doing some reflecting just now.  I remember all too well the days of the torturous scales in middle school.  Even though they never loudly called out the numbers when we weighed, it was amazing how the entire class would become hushed when it was my turn to weigh as all of my classmates strained to get a peak at the numbers.  I would shift myself from side to side hoping to use my large body to cover the metal tabs as the teacher moved them higher and higher.  I remember the first time the scale had to be moved to 150+.  Everyone watched as she slide the bottom bar to 50, then 100, then to 150 before it decided to have mercy on me and tip the other way.

 

The physical fitness tests were torturous as well, especially the chin ups.  My legs had a hard enough time holding my overweight frame upright let alone trying to encourage my arms to pick the same weight up off of the floor!

 

Now, I proudly tell everyone my weight like it is my badge of honor.  The guys I work with tell me that I'm the only female they know that will come in bragging about how much they weighed that morning.  My response is that they must not know any WLS females because most of the ones I know love to shout their weight from the roof tops and are tempted to wear their clothes wrong side out just so everyone can see what size they are in....hahaha!

 

Speaking of badges of honor, a lady at work came up to my desk yesterday and noticed my brown suit jacket hanging up on a clothes hanger at my desk.  She said, “Oh, what a beautiful jacket”, however, she then picked it up and turned it facing the other way.  She said, “Dear, everyone could see the label.”  I was shocked and near tears.  I do work for a major defense company and there are some very high dollar suits running around, but my JCPenny suit is nice in my opinion (and is big bucks to me considering most of my clothing comes from Wal-Mart).  It was my first “expensive nice clothing” purchase after my weight loss.  I thought to myself, “how dare she make fun of my clothing!”  I guess my insult began to show because she quickly said, “You can see the size 12 on the jacket.  Women don’t tell what size clothes they wear even if it is just a size 12.”  Just a size 12 I thought.  I smiled and told her that it was my badge of honor to be in a size 12 and quickly gave her a summary of my journey over the last 16 months.  She smiled and turned my jacket back around for my size 12 badge to proudly show and congratulated me on my success.

09/25/06 - I can attest first hand to the importance of vitamins after WLS. I have neglected my blood work, vitamins, etc and I am now paying for it SEVERELY!

 

I'm in a situation right now where my docs (back surgeon, PCP, OB/GYN etc) are all telling me that I'm actually underweight for my frame and severely malnourished. That's three different doctors all telling me the exact same thing! They said that I should have stopped at around 165-175 pounds (which according to the BMI charts would have put me at still slightly overweight at 5 feet 8 inches tall) however, I became obsessed with the numbers and I'm down to 152 pounds now (it is estimated that 10-15 pounds of that is nothing but excess skin which has no value added to my body) and I'm paying for it. I'm working on it now, but in the past several months, I've been hospitalized with dehydration, had multiple health issues with malnutrition, heart issues, neurological issues, multiple female issues and I've basically wrecked havoc on my body which is thanking me by trying to shut down my kidneys, eating my muscles, etc. This is my own fault and stupidity.

 

I have been exhibiting all of the sign of vitamin deficiencies for months now, however, I didn't go to have some blood work done until last week (see post below titled "Lurker.....need help". My symptoms have included EXTREME (and I do emphasize EXTREME) fatigue, muscle weakness, skin rashes on my hands and face, 'tingling' sensation in my brain, faint feeling constantly, leg cramps with muscle twitches (think I waited for there to be enough symptoms before I decide to act ?).

 

I now know that the little blood work that I had done was atrocious. I would hate to see a complete and full blood workup on myself right now. Everything is either running in the minimum range or lower except for my creatinine. The high creatinine level indicates damage to or swelling of blood vessels in the kidneys caused by dehydration and lack of nutrition.

 

I beg anyone reading this. Take your vitamins RELIGIOUSLY. Have your labs done RELIGIOUSLY. If not for your own sake, for the sake of those around you that depend on you. Things could be a lot worse for me right now. I'm just lucky that I have hopefully caught things in time. It was a major wakeup call for me that I wanted to share with all of you before you get the same call. WLS was the best thing that ever happened for me and I would do it again in a heartbeat, however, it takes a lot of work on our part to not just lose the weight and look great, but to be healthy too. I got so wrapped up in the looking good part during the last few months that I forgot that I had this surgery to get healthy. Who is going to see how good I look if I'm six feet under

09/25/06 - Here's my advice to a fellow WLS patient that posted today:

 

Question:

Just over 1 year out have lost in 5 months need help!

 

I am just over 1 year out and have not been losing in over 5 months. I am trying to restart my exercising. But feel lost in the food dept. I have lost 100Ibs but have at least 50 to 60 more to lose. I feel I have lost my way. I know I have to stop the snacking and get back to at least 80 grams of protein a day. My nutritionist told me to stay between 600 to 800 to keep losing. I feel hungry all the time and crave sweets. Could any give me a example meal plan to get me going again. I asked my nutritionist and she didn’t have one to give me. She just stated the above and only eat three fruits a week. I feel I know what to do in my head but can't seem to get the meal planning down. I know I can do this but any help would great.    — Wendy T (posted on September 21, 2006)

 

Answer:

1. RELAX, RELAX, RELAX. I had my surgery in May 2005 and I had a spell where the scale just would not move. Give your body some time to adjust to this new life that you've given it.

2. Get a new nut PRONTO in my personal opinion! 600 - 800 calories is not enough to keep yourself going, thus you are exhausted and crave food. Your body is starving. It thinks that you are trying to kill it by not giving it enough nutrition, therefore it's holding onto everything you put into it. Trust me. I went through the same thing and as soon as I upped the calories to 1200, the scale began to move again. Barbara Thompson has a whole section in her book that talks about this starvation mode thing ( I also talk about it in my profile) if you would like to Google her website.

3. I myself need to take my next piece of wisdom, but STOP LOOKING AT THE NUMBERS! Yes, I know that's hard (I'll be honest, I get on the scale on a daily basis just about) but remember there are a lost of factors going into our numbers as formally morbidly obese people such as:

     A. Our bones weigh more than the average persons due to the fact that for years, we carried more weight than a "normal" person does. Our bones are denser. We also have issues with extra skin (my docs estimate anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds of excess).

     B. What the magic number on the BMI charts are for "normal people" aren't always going to be right for us. I'm in a situation right now where my docs (gastric surgeon, back surgeon, PCP, OB/GYN etc) are all telling me that I'm actually underweight for my frame. That's four different doctors all telling me the same thing! They said that I should have stopped at around 170 pounds (which according to the BMI charts would have put me at still slightly overweight at 5 feet 8 inches tall) however, I became obsessed with the numbers and I'm down to 152 pounds now (remember that 10-15 pounds of that is nothing but excess skin which has no value added to my body) and I'm paying for it. I'm getting better now, but in the past several months, I've been hospitalized with dehydration, had multiple health issues with malnutrition, heart issues, neurological issues, multiple female issues and I've basically wrecked havoc on my body which is thanking me by trying to shut down my kidneys, eating my muscles, etc. DO NOT let yourself get to that point! A 100 pound loss is EXCELLENT! Give yourself some credit and stop looking at those scales!

09/19/06 - My reason for coming out of lurking status (It’s really been too long since my last post).  I have been HORRIBLE about keeping tabs on my blood work.  To put it bluntly, I haven't really had them checked other than some blood work done before back surgery, or simple CBC's etc during small illnesses.  Anyway, I've basically felt like complete CRAPOLA for several months now and finally went to my PCP and asked him to run some labs to try to determine the reason for my EXTREME (and I do emphasize EXTREME) fatigue, muscle weakness, skin rashes on my hands and face, 'tingling' sensation in my brain, faint feeling, leg cramps with muscle twitches, etc. 

 

Anyway, turns out that my blood count is slightly low which isn't really anything new for me.  My hemocrit was 35 which is actually pretty good for me except for the fact that it's almost that time of the month and doc says that it should be higher in the body's prep for my cycle (sorry fellows....TMI, I know).  I've battled anemia before WLS and yes, I do take my B-12 shots every other week.  The one that's thrown me is that they said that my zinc is very low.  The nurse even said words like "very malnourished", and "major protein deficiency" and said that my PCP suggested increasing protein and beginning a zinc supplement.  I have to go back into his office later to discuss the rest of the results and I will update when I have more details.