hockeymomkat

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JUST TIRED OF BEING THE STRONG ONE, FINALLY TOLD MY BROTHER A FEW THINGS WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON THIS WEEK I'VE ALWAYS PROTECTED HIM WHICH IS FUNNY   DUE H'E TURNING 30 TOMORROW AND I'M THE ELDER ONE. BUT I'VE DECIDED IN ORDER FOR ME TO BE SUCCESSFUL I NEEDED TO NOT HIDE ANYMORE FEELINGS OTHERWISE I'LL START EATING. BUT I ROMISE MYSELF I WONT' DO THAT I'M WORKING TO HARD. I KNOW FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN READING MY BLOG IT SOUNDS REPEATIVELY I'M SORRY BUT IT'S THE WAY TO DEAL WITH STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY ANNIVERSARY WITH MY HUSBAND WAS YESTERDAY IT WAS SIMPLE AND QUIET JUST PICKED UP CHICKEN AT KFC ( THEY HAD GRILLED BUT I SUFFERED AND ATE ONE DRUM STICK AND WAS FINE WITH THAT.

WILL BE BACK ON HERE EITHER TOMORROW OR MONDAY AFTER THE GET TOGETHER AT MY BROTHERS WHO IS HAVING CAKE AND ICE CREAM I'M NOT BIG ON ICE CREAM BUT CAKE...... COULD BE BAD.
PRAY FOR ME................ KEEP THE STRENGTH.

THIS HAS BEEN A WEEK OF STRENGTH, AND NOT GOING BACK TO OLD HABITS. I HAVE FAMILY IN TOWN ( MY DAD) WHO LIVES OUT OF STATE FOR WORK NORMALLY . MY MOM WHO IS HANDICAPPED  LIVES WITH ME AND MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN. HAD A COMPLETE HYSTERCOTOMY ON MONDAY AND A SCARE OF CANCER (WON;T GET THE RESULTS UNTIL 12 MORE DAYS) UNTIL THEN SHE'S RECOVERING IN THE HOSPITAL BUT AFRAID TO MOVE. I HAD OPEN RNY WITH THE STAPLES AND STITCHES DOWN THE FRONT OF MY STOMACH ( FROM BREST BONE TO BELLY BUTTON) SHE IS CUT UNDER BELLY BUTTON TO TOP OF PELVIC BONE (ALITTLE DIFFERENT BUT STILL PAIN)
MY MOM NEVER HAS HAD SURGERY OF ANY KIND US KIDS ( TWO OF US WERE NORMAL DELIVERIES A LONG TIME AGO)SHE KEEPS ASKING ME ABOUT PAIN??????????? I AM ONE OF THE FORTUNE ONES AND DIDNT' HAVE ANY PAIN PRESSURE YES NOT PAIN.
I HAVE WANTED TO EAT EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING BUT HAVE NOT GIVEN IN TO THE TEMPTATION. IT'S HARD AT THE GIFT SHOP NEXT TO THE ELEVATOR IN THE HOSPITAL THERE IS SEE'S CANDY ( OH MY GOD MY FAVORITE)COULD EASILY EAT IT AN THROW IT AWAY. HAVENT' THANK GOD FELT I WOULD COME HOME AND VENT ON THIS BLOG. SORRY IF IT RAMBLES TRYING TO GET IT ALL OUT. AN ON TOP OF AL THIS I'M BEING TOLD BY OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS TO NOT HELP MY MOM IN ANY SORT OF WAY (HELLO I DONT THINK SO) SCREWED NOT MATTER WHAT I DO.
THANK  GOD FOR MY HUSBAND AND KIDS, I REALLY APPRECIATE THEM AND NEED THEM IN THIS STRESSFUL TIME.
CAN SEE HOW PEOPLE GO OFF ALITTLE IN THIS PROCESS.
PRAYERS AND GREAT THOUGHTS WELCOMED.
AND EMAILS.
KATHY

I HAD DINNER WITH FRIENDS LAST WEEK, ONE FRIEND, DIDNT' WANT TO SAY ANTHINB  ABOUT MY WEIGHT LOSS AND THAT IS COMPLETING O.K. I'M NOT HERE TO THROW IT UP IN HER FACE, BUT I HAVE DONE ALOT OF HARD WORK ALSO.
BUT I FIT IN A BOOTH AN THE FIRST ONE TO JUMP ON IT TO THE BOOTH BEFORE FRIENDS COULD CHANGE THEIR MIND.
GREAT FEELING.......................

friends are so concerned if i'm doing the right thing , should you eat that do that, etc. i'ts like i'm under a microscope but i am up for the challenge.
i'm so happy getting compliments, even if sometimes i can't see it.

three months post op just wish the weight would come off faster,
but then i'd have problems.

went to family reunion, family were mad i wasn't eating, i did fine, stayed true to myself, but did it, i like the compliments alot more.

weighed in yesterday and lost 17 pds in one month a total of 55 since surgery, 87 in my whole process. 
feels great................

new clothes is very hard and yet exciting i got clothes three sizes smaller than normal i had two sizes smaller and the salesgirl said honey you need a smaller pant those are to baggy,unless you like that i said humm try one size smaller and oh my gosh what a difference. got a family reunion in two weeks and most don't know i've done this but will see  how it goes. and i'm going to a week long bsa camp as a counsler great and excited except still restrictions only 10 weeks post op from open rny and can't do horseback riding or wall climbing but i will next time. im' just worried about the food at camp due to not allowed pork or red meat yet,. i'll survive or lose ha 

been back to work now three days going on day four been strange they are all in my office now dieting and doing botox,,, no thanks, finding myself in a strange enviroment of only 8 people and now it's like i'm in a glass bubble. and people say us who had surgery are the ones who change, maybe we do i'm tired of the bull 
awaking from my inner shell.

goodluck to me.

TODAY WAS STARTING OUT HARD FOR PROTEIN, I'VE GOT UP AT THE END OF THE DAY, I JUST DONT 'THINK OF FOOD AND THEN REALIZE HEY, YOU HAVENT' EATEN IN SEVERAL HOURS NEED TO GRAB SOME PROTEIN ... WENT SHOPPING AT THE STORE TODAY BY MY SELF NO SPOUSE OR MOTHER TO TAG ALONG AND THEY WERE SURPRISED I DIDN'T BUY ANY JUNK FOOD I THINK, I WAS SO GOOD I DID IT ALL MYSELF, I DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING NOT HEALTHLY GOT TO GET THEM HEATHLY WITHOUT REALIZING IT. ( GOT TO TRICK THEM SOMETIMES, A SPOUSE AND TWO BOYS)

BEEN A WHILE SINCE ON BUT BEEN DOING SO GREAT 8 WEEKS TOMORROW AND DOWN 47 PDS CAN'T BELIEVE IT AND A TOTAL OF 81 IN A YEAR OR SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS JOURNEY.
THAT'S THE HARD PART TO ADMIT HOW MUCH YOU WEIGH OUT LOUD ONLY MYSELF, SPOUSE,MOM AND ONE FRIEND KNOWS , ALL MY FRIENDS KEEP SAYING YOU DON'T WEIGH MUCH I CARRY IT VERY WELL ON 5'6 BODY, GOING BACK TO WORK ON MONDAY SO WILL SEE. EXCITED DUE TO MONEY HOW LONG IT'S BEEN BUT ALSO NOT READY FOR THE MESS ON MY DESK.(HAHA)

SURGERY WAS  13 DAYS AGO AND JUST WAITING TO CONTINUE FOR THIS JOURNEY I'M ON..........  SHEDDING THE LAYERS.