honeyboog

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I had to do the 6 months supervised diet. Well today was my 7th month appt. And  it didnt go well.I can't get a date until I stop gaining weight . When I first started the program I was 398. The next month I went down to 391. From there on I've been gainning weight. Now I'm 413 every month I gained 3-5 pounds. If I could do it on my own why would I need RNY? I'm ready to give up. I try to stop eating unheathly but its too hard. I have my good days then I have the bad days. Then I'm on prozac and they said that can be the cause of the weight gain. And if so how am I suppose to lose? And my doctor just doubled the prozac because of me still being depressed. I don't know what to do. All I know is I can't stop crying and I want WLS.

O.k. So I'm getting back on this horse and try this again. I need to do this for ME. I will not give up on myself again. I'm tired of having those pitty parties for myself. So from now on no more rants about I can't ,I can't. Because I can. And I will.

I swear this 6 months of supervisied diet is to break you down. I can not do it anymore. I give up. I can not lose weight. Would I be wrong when I go for my next appt. if I refuse to get on the scale? This shit isnt fair I need my tool. NOW .....I cant do this on my own. If I could why would I want wls. I'm so mad, frustrated, and angry. I don't know what to do. I'm still trying to love myself even though I hate the way I look and hate every damn thing and every damn body. Depression is the worst. I hate feeling like this but I can't seem to keep myself happy. I am sooooooo pissed off with myself, my life just me period. I've been eating chocolate and ice cream like there's no tomorrow. Im ready to get drunk. So drunk that I can't remember why I'm sad or mad.  But it's 7:44 am and I don't need to drink my problems away because once I sober up my problems will still be here. I will still be fat and unhappy so fuck it.

Hi, everyone thanks for checking on me. Well im  in month 5 of my preop supervised diet. One more month before my paperwork can be send out to the insurance company for approval. Changing my eating habits has been the hardest thing I ever. I havent had one successful week yet. Ive gained 3 pounds back. Ive been sleeping with my cpap and it helps. Before using it I use to wake up about 6-8 times a night. But now I only wake up once a night to use the bathroom. Thats a plus.

Im having the hardest time with portion control.  I havent achieved any of my personal goals. Im lacking focus. Im having  a hard time staying focused. I guess thats why I havent bloged lately because nothing s really going on. But as soon as I have a date. OBH will be the first to know.

Well the sleep doc. put me in for a second sleep study. Its january 13 2007. I guess that means I need the C pap machine. I cant make it to my psych. appt. on thurs. So I have to reschedule. But its ok since I have to wait 4 more months and all. (for the surgery)

Im Ok, I cant complain. Im trying my best to kick the smoking habit but its so hard being stressed , kids fighting, husband being a MAN, mom and sis keep callin me with their drama. I NEED A NEWPORT .....NOW. Then I dont know how I think Im gonna stop smoking and Sweets at the same time.Im getting a head ache . I need a vacation. I think Its all the christmas stuff going on. I cant wait until its over. I ate fried chicken for dinner. I feel sick. GUILT sick.

 Last nite at the group support meeting I found out that my insurance requires that you are in a weight loss program for 6 months before they will pay for the surgery. I was sooooo upset. 

But after sleeping on it , I guess its for best , Because Im still working on quitting smoking and getting my eating under control. And realizing that once I  quit smoking and get my eating under control that will make me more healthier and more prepared for my surgery and the new changes in my life.

So I have to wait 4 more months, before they even send in my info to the insurance company. In the end its all for the BEST.

Yesterday I got the phone call to schedule my sleep study. That was fast, And whats even faster is my appt. date. This Sunday nite 12/10. I throught that I wounldnt have my appt. for the sleep study until January of 07. So Its moving faster than I expected.  After my consult. with the psych. doc. I wonder whats next. Because by that time, I will have completed all studies and consults that are on my Bariatric Surgery preparation form. So I wonder is that it. Is my papers going to the insurance company for approval after my appt. with the psych. doc? On 12/21. I'll ask him.

Today was my appt with the nutritionist. And boy was surprised. Just from not eating sweets and fried foods. I lost 6 pounds since my first appt last month . I can not believe it. I wasnt trying to lose weight. I was just trying to change my eating habits so after the surgery I wont feel so deprived. Im also TRYING to eating smaller portions. Sometimes I can , then there times when its so good that I have to have seconds. I feel like Im punishing myself if I dont get more. But  im still working on that. Im now 391. Im so shocked Im speechless.

And yesterday I had my visit with the pulmonary doc . Took a breathing test and have to wait for them to call me to schdule my sleep study. How long should I wait? I'll give them a week. Before I find out whats the hold up. Hopefully they'll call me first.

  Hi friends, I had my consultation with my surgeon on Nov.8,2006. He said I qualify for the surgery. I also met with the Nutritionist .Dr. Castellanos and his whole staff are wonderful. You can tell they really care for their patients. They really explain everything in detail and answered all my questions and concerns. His nurse is 2 yrs post op ,So she was really helpful with all my concerns.

  I attended the Bariatric Surgery Support Group on Nov.14,2006.  Attending 2 of these meetings are necessary before surgery. And they all express how important it is to still attend, even years after post op. And I definitely will because these meetings are full of Information and best of all EXPERIENCE. The next meeting is on Dec.12,2006 .Once a month and I'll be there.

My up comimg appts.
 
Dec.5 Pulmonary Consultation
Dec.6 Nutritionist (once a month)
Dec.21 Psychiatric Consultation (rescheduled)
Jan.17 Nutritionist
Jan.13   2nd Sleep Study
Jan.23 Psychiatric Consultation
Feb.06 Follow up w/ Pulmonary doc.
Feb.16 Nutritionist
March 16 Nutritionist

(April 20 *** Sixth month appt.***)
 May 18 Nutritionist

Can't wait for all my testing to be done with. So We can start the wait for the insurance approval.



Bariatric Surgery Support Group
Nov.14
Dec.12
Jan. 9 (missed)
Feb. 13
March 13
April 10