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Well, after waiting for about 3 hours (!!!!) for my phone follow-up with Dr. C., he called.  I was set for him to call on Saturday at 4 p.m. my time.  Apparently he operates on whatever time zone HE is in (which was Hawaii on Saturday) so I didn't get a call till 7:20 p.m.  I had given up at that point.

So anyway, I reported that I had lost 27 pounds, this is at mid way through my 8th week after surgery.  He expressed that he thought I should have lost more and set a goal for me of losing 20 pounds in the next 6 weeks.  He said that a person of my age and BMI could do that.  OK.  I guess I needed some concrete encouragement because I have been going so slow for the past month (5 pounds down in the past 3 weeks.)

So  I am trying to figure out how to make that happen.

Here are some generalities he discussed:  he wants to people to lose 70% if their excess weight in 6 months.  That means I would have to lose 43 more pounds in the next 4 months - by 2/14/07.

He said, why go to this extreme (surgery) and not be successful - thats a kind of positive way to look at it!

So I went through a big emotional reaction after the phone call.  I hate not being praised!!!  I hate having people being disappointed in me!!!  Even though I'm a 53 year old successful professional, I am still VERY influenced by other people's opinions, emotionally.  I would rather avoid facing a potential critic, even though that person was WELL paid, by ME, to give me their best professional advice!  Hmm,  maybe I need to think about that and my attitude!!!!

Looking at myself, I have to say that I have been testing and rebelling.  There have been extra snacks, pushing the envelope.  Although I have been keeping track of what I eat on the Daily Plate, and have calorie counts from 600 - 800.  Carbs have been from 35 - 60 per day.  Exercise is getting started with 3 x a week at the gym plus other walking on other days.  Exercise has not been as intense as it could be, so I guess that's a place to improve.

I have been using food emotionally.  My foods have been good, but I have been pushing the quantities and times.  I have grazed to a certain extent and for the following reasons:  boredom, needing a treat, feeling rebellious about having to be on a diet.  Emotional reasons for eating!!!  I could have soothed myself with a cup of tea instead.  Maybe that will be what I will use as a substitution.  I'm also trying EFT with the emotional eating issues, as that a big deal for me.

This is about where I usually bail out on a diet I think, lost almost 30 pounds, all my clothes fit great, I'm looking lots better.  BUT I'm still 70 pounds over my ideal weight, and if I stop now, I'll be participating in my usual yo-yo cycle.  Really, stopping is not an option, but losing this slowly is not particularly rewarding.  I think if I kept my calories at 600 - 700 strictly and maybe tried to exercise vigourously at least 30 minutes a day, I might be able to budge the scale down.

I think that is what I CAN do, and what I should do, and see how that works.

I will be traveling, visiting my sister and then my family in Hawaii with my husband and son.  Usually when I am traveling I do better for eating, just because I'm busy and not bored.  I will have to be careful to have the things that I need so I don't stray.  I will have my laptop and will be using the DailyPlate and the VSG board to keep on track!

So I have been stalled for so long, (2 weeks) and I was really getting pissed about it.  So I looked at my food records on Fitday & the DailyPlate (moved there 3 days ago) to see about my carbs, since I know the calories are about 700.  My doctor says keep carbs under 40 grams a day, and I was getting up into the 60s almost every day.  So yesterday I kept under 40 and this morning I lost a "new" pound - down to a weight I hadn't got to before (on this diet).  (230.6) I ate lots of animal protein like beef and lamb.  Yumm!  (No problem with any foods yet!!)

I also went back to the gym and did about 35 minutes on the elliptical trainer, several weights on the Nautilus Express Way circuit (cut back from where I  had last been prior to surgery and vacation 2 months ago), and then stretching.  I have to say that I noticed the most difference in stretching, it is easier to bend when you have less of a tummy and other parts in the way!!!  I still need to get back the flexibility I had previously, not being a naturally flexible person in most joints!

The DailyPlate allows you to enter exercise and its quite motivating to see that exercise subtracted from your food calories!!!  I am still following the general calorie guidelines - it says if I want to lose 4 pounds a week I can only eat 600 calories a day, I don't think I can do that without exercise, otherwise I will feel totally deprived and that sets me up for cheating!

I have a phone consult with Dr. C on Monday, so want to report that I have a decent loss, and am following exercise and other guidelines!

OK, I am still stalled but I have found something to celebrate.  I picked up a 20 pound bag of kitty litter to take it out of the car and downstairs.

Well, 20 pounds weighs a LOT!  I've lost MORE than that bag of Kitty Litter!   Imagine having that bag strapped on my body ALL the TIME!  So, that helped - kind of hard to believe that much had come off!

(Gotta find my motivation somewhere!)

Well, this isn't the fastest loss in the world, but I was happy to see another pound gone this morning - 231.8.  I think it will be a big psychological boost to hit the 220s!

I was down to 210 about 3 years ago and briefly hit 199 on phen-fen about 9 years ago, so once I get past there it will be terra incognita!!!  But that is 30 pounds from here, so I have no idea how long that will take.  But since I am consistently keeping my calories less than 800 a day, I imagine it will be sooner than usual on my diets - actually I usually give up after about 30 pounds loss, either that or  I modify the diet to the point where I stop loosing, as I recall.

Sometimes I think, this is just a diet - why did I get the surgery.  But I am NOT hungry, so I am mostly battling head hunger and habits, and I am so inspired by everyone here (and afraid of my surgeon's disapproval) that I will stick with this - which will make all the difference in success AND I will be able to maintain the loss with the tool and what I've learned.  The long term maintenance is the KEY difference - and I say that based on the long term studies of weight loss surgery.  So I will succeed too.

OK, here I am, one month from surgery in SF with Dr. Cirangle.  I feel completely recovered from the surgery, I still have one little incision that has a scab which is healing (must be the one they took the stomach out from?).  It is hardly noticeable.

I have lost 21 pounds!!!  Yippee.  I can really tell in my face and in my midriff.  My jeans are all loose and comfy, some I have to pull up occasionally!  My bras all fit perfectly (previously kind of tight!).  My waist is down about 4" and my upper chest and rib cage are down about 2" each, and my neck is about 1" less!

Basically I am on a diet, which is mentally quite boring.  I am never hungry (thats really good!!!) but I do have urges to eat all the time - just shows that I have lots of habits to break here with using food to solve non-food issues!  I evaluate all foods now, high protein, low carbs are GOOD.  Like canned chicken, nonfat cottage cheese, deli meat, EAS protein powder.  I use www.fitday.com to track my eating, its really nice, since you can save "custom foods" which are all the things that I eat!

My weight loss as been nil for the past week and a half, it kind of bounces around within the same pound, and sort of regardless of how strict I am about carbs and sodium - so I am TRYING to just observe and not react to the information.  However I will be really happy when the scale budges downward again!!!

I need to get back on the exercise track, the 2 week challenge on the VSG board for September will be a good incentive for me!!!

Glad I did this, but can't wait to see more success.  This is NOT easy, but its easier than any other diet I've ever been on.   Its still a DIET, though, no fooling!  So don't think that this is the easy way out!

Finally!!!!  Even after a very bad day (comparatively speaking - I never would have thought eating almost 1000 calories a day was a BAD day before!!!) I reluctantly got on the scale, which had read 233.8 the day before (a backslide from the previous low of 233.2) and it was 232.8!!  A new low.

OK, maybe this surgery thing will work for ME after all . . .

I have looked at my fitday records for the past week and my carbs have been over 40 - up to 80 on a couple of days.  So I am going to try really cutting back on carb foods and stick to the low carbs - protein shakes w/low carbs, cottage cheese, etc.

(I went to the WLS gormet site - by Kendra of OH, VSG forum, and found a shake recipe - the chocolate fudge shake!  I used chocolate protein powder (by EAS - sold at Costco) and you add 2 T of sugar free chocolate fudge pudding mix!!!  Wow, MUCH better!!!  Makes a killer protein shake for 185 calories, 11 carbs and 27 grams of protein!!!!

Also I am trying to space out my eating.  I used to eat a good breakfast because if I didn't I was too hungry and really couldn't control myself the rest of the day.  Now, I'm not hungry, ever, so I will save those calories for later in the day when I have more head hunger.  Also drink lots of Crystal Lite.

This morning I had a flat diet coke, it was great!!!  I really love that flavor, it is my morning wake up!  The carbonation makes me bubble and burp these days, so flat is just fine!

Let's see if I can power down into the 220s!  That will be exciting!  Maybe even for my one month-versary!

I am a bit discouraged since I have stayed the same all week.  I have been logging my food on FitDay pretty faithfully, and I can see that I have exceeded the 40 carbs a day every so often - sometimes its in the 70s!  The calories have been 600 - 800, never above.  So I feel like this is a little stall.

I have been on liquid diets before and even though I'm not hungry I am feeling somewhat bored and have been pushing the envelope a little.  Eating potato chips (just a few) and other really un-diet things in very small quantities.

I am giving myself a little slack, but will head back to the straight and narrow and see if I can see a result in the scale.

Am feeling scared to be in such a rebellious place this early!!!  Its feeling hard to lose weight right now!

I as just looking at www.liquiddietdiscussion.com, a board for Medifast, Optifast and other liquid diets, and there are so many common threads!  We are all just working so hard.  I think I really needed this (VSG) kind of non-negotiable decision to really seriously tackle my weight loss.  I also needed a way that was more likely than not to help me lose significant amounts of weight.  Losing 30 pounds is not going to do it for me, I need to lose it all, or almost all, so that I can get on the other side and start feeling the benefits, not just all the work for a minor payoff.

just checking in.  I haven't needed any pain pills at night and yesterday I took one Tramadol after doing alot of walking and shopping, don't know that it helped much, but I wasn't sure how much pain I was in.  Mostly I'm still noting that I don't have much stamina.  A moderate 20 minute walk is OK, but wouldn't want to have to rush or go much further.

Food is going so much better. I am not using the awful protein drink things I bought from LapSF (New Whey Bullets - GAG ME!!!)  I am using my  old Medifast/New Lifestyle protein drinks, each with about 15 grams of protein and 100 calories or less.  I need 5 a day to get 75 grams of protein, and I have SF jello and SF pudding for extras.  Drinking lots of Crystal light, tea, some flat Diet Coke.

Not feeling hungry.  I have little head games about food, like "just a taste" would be OK.  And I have had just a taste of mashed potato.  Have not experienced any problems with swallowing food.  I have some chicken noodle soup from Medifast that I like.  It has tiny little noodles and some kind of soy protein fake chicken in it.  Haven't had any problems eating that.

I put on my old favorite stretch jeans today, and they are lots more comfortable than I remember from last month!  Legs are looser, waist is still tight (I'm being  careful with the incision sites) but tolerable.  My bras all fit just fine now, they were getting a little tight before the WLS.  (A few too many food funerals????)

My face is getting thinner!!!  I really think that the last 15 pounds I put on last year affected my face, so its great to see it getting thinner already!!!  (Watch out double chin, I've got you in my gun sights!)

I am feeling like me again.  I also had this persistent feeling of being somewhat mutilated by the surgery, a very vague but sort of nightmarish image in my mind.  Now I am feeling like my new, remodeled stomach is just me and normal.  Probably part of the healing process.  I have a nice image of a slim little banana tummy that is all healthy and happy.  (Wierd I know, but I wanted to remember this.  Maybe the mutilation feeling was a sort of psychological reaction to the "violence" of surgery".  Plus when I was in pain I felt more like I had harmed myself.)  It was a little wierd to go back to Dr. C's office on day 6 after surgery, I really felt like I didn't want to go near to the scene of the crime so soon.  Of course I was fine, but I did feel the aversion.

Wt. Loss Total: 16.5 pounds

I almost forgot this.

Since I live in Alaska, I got a phone consultation with Dr. Cirangle.  After much info exchanging and insurance BS I decided to self pay.  I read all the material and scheduled my surgery date and flew to SF.

I had a face to face consult with Dr. Cirangle the day before my surgery.  Much to my surprise I was charged $375 for the consultation.  I said, but here is the self-pay agreement, there isn't anything here!  They said, well we should have charged you for the initial phone consultation, but since you are here now, you have to pay.

So of course I paid.  But it didn't taste very good.  I urged the office to revise their self pay information to include this.