involuntarysheep

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I had my surgery ont he 21st of November, 2012, almost 7 weeks ago.  I have been receiving my claims from the insurance company as they are submitted, so I knew what was going on.  I had also arranged through my hospital to put down a $500 deposit the day of surgery and agreed to a payment plan of twelve monthly installments.  WELL, wasn't I shocked to get a letter in the mail from the hospital saying that I owed them $2700 by the 15th of this month, which is 8 DAYS FROM NOW.  I instantly had a panic attack, and had to remind myself to start breathing again, which wasn't very cool in the slightest. 

After I calmed down a moment and took some time to collect myself, as well as grow a little resentful of my husband's reaction towards the whole thing (he handled it worse than I did), I realized it's not like they can just take back the surgery, and I'm hoping when I call them later today, everything will be cleared up and straightened out the way it was supposed to have been taken care of when I went in for the damn procedure in the first place.  And obviously everything was GO when I went in because the hospital only performs a planned procedure on two conditions: 1) you pay the full amount upfront, or 2) you go through their financial department, which is exactly what I did.  So, really, this whole thing has been total bullshit, and I'm going to call them out on it.  Not only that, though, but the bill they sent me and the claims I have been keeping from the insurance company on what I owe do not match at all.  In fact, they're about $1000 off, with the hospital saying I owe them more.  So, I need to straighten that out as well.  Glorious.  Just what I need to do after working overnights on my only freaking day off :(

The other thing that is bothering me, and I need to call the insurance company about it tomorrow, is they're saying that they aren't going to cover the anesthesiologist.  WTF is that?!  You're telling me you'll pay for the surgery, but not the f*cking anesthesiologist?  What was i supposed to do, endure my insides being scrambled while fully conscious?  I don't think so.   

So, yeah, so much to do, so little time.  And if things can't be straightened out with the stupid hospital, well, they're just going to have to get their money in twelve installments, whether they like it or not, seeing as how they agreed to those terms in the first place.  And as long as I pay them, no matter how much, they can't report me to creditors, as long as those payments are monthly and on time, which they will be, because they always are, dammit.  Ugh. 

hopefully everything will be sorted out today.  If not, well, guess i better get the mylanta ready for some unsettled, surgically altered tummy troubles :(

I've been keeping track of everything that goes into me, making sure I get the levels of protein that I require to keep my body healthy and happy.  I take my vitamins every day, and even though I get cravings for carbs and foods I shouldn't be eating, I (for the most part) make the right choices, and when I know that I want something, I take it into account of what I'm eating and adjust accordingly.  I've started walks, and got Dance Central 3 for Kinect, which is actually way more involved than I thought it was going to be, which is a major plus for working out.  But for the past 10 days, nothing has come off, and I'm starting to freak out that this is it, this is all there is to the weight loss, and it is totally bugging me out. 

I know why I'm freaking out - I was given hope, and there's this twisted part of my mind that thinks the whole thing was a ruse to get me to pay a ridiculous amount of money for minimal results.  Another part of me is just scared.  I mean, think of it - I've spent my entire life being fat, so why should it be any different now?  Because I put myself through an excruciating surgery and have been working my ass off, that's why.  But you know how it is; you always read through the forums, look through everyone's profile and blog, and every once in a while you get the person who didn't lose anything, or who gained it back, or whose progress has been at a stand-still for far too long.  I don't want that to be me.  I finally have the chance to be as healthy and as physically fit as I've always wanted, I don't want that glimmer of hope to fade away.  And by the same token, I don't want it to consume me like it has been this last week. 

So I didn't lose anything this week...so what?  My period finally came, and I've always retained water the entire week before, so I'm sure that's all it is.  I just need to focus on doing what needs to be done and not pay any attention to what the numbers on the scale say.  I also need to get my husband to hide the scale.  I swear, that thing is going to be the ruin of me.  For the next week, I'm not even going to look at the damn thing...well, I'll try not to.  I need to get my anxiety under control and remove all of the negative thoughts from my head.  It's going to be the only way I'll be able to make it through this whole ordeal, which, in the grand scheme of things, has really only just begun. 

Well, I had my surgery on the 21st of November, and everything went well.  I ended up staying in the hospital an extra night, because I couldn't keep fluids down when they finally allowed me to drink. 

So, in all of the reading I've done from other people's blogs, it doesn't seem like anyone really touched upon how bad everything hurts when you get out of surgery.  Oh. My. God.  I thought I was going to die.  There came a point where I was talking to my husband, and I told him I wouldn't wish that kind of pain upon my worst enemy.  The worst thing about it all was the thirst.  I was fully hydrated because of the IV,  it my mouth was so dry, and the need to drink something was excruciating.   Seriously, I was so upset about all of it, I was starting to think I'd made a terrible decision in going through with the surgery.  Now, though, I'm glad I did it.

My progress has been good so far.  I've lost a total of 36lbs, 18 of those lbs since the surgery.  The weight loss has slowed, but I'm making sure to keep my protein up and my carbs down, slowly introducing new foods when I can. I'll try to keep my progress updated on here.  Yay surgery!

I have surgery scheduled for the 21st of this month, the day before Thanksgiving, and I couldn't be more excited.  Or scared.  Mostly excited, though.  I am having the duodenal swich performed, and my surgeon is Dr. Terry Scarborough here in Houston.  I'm going to be missing Thanksgiving dinner this year, but it's ok...most of my family lives out of state or several hours away, so it would have just been my husband and I anyway.  I can't wait to begin this new part of my life to begin, I just hope everything goes without a hitch.

This past week has been much better than I thought it was going to be.  The first day was terrible, don't get me wrong - I thought I was going to strangle someone by the end of the night, I was so hungry/    But by the third night, things were much easier.  I did slip after I had to have my endoscopy procedure done this last wednesday, though.  I mean, 15 hours with no water for food, and I never experienced any of the nausea they said I would, so I kind of went crazy and ate real food.  I don't regret it at all, and it wasn't that hard to get back on the liquid diet.  I was actually kind of happy to, I felt guilty enough, hahaha!

I am totally going to miss food, I can't even lie about that, but I knew that I was ready for this the second I heard about it on the news about five months ago.  Before that, I never even thought about this being an option.  I'mnot really concerned about losing the weight.  For me it's about the fact that this prcedure had a 90% success rate of putting my diabetes into remission.   I don't want to think of it as an actual cure for anything, because I don't want to be disappointed if it comes back when I'm 80, you know?  This is my main reason for the whole procedure - losing weight is just an added bonus, as far as I'm concerned.  I'm not saying that I'm going to be a slacker about it, not my any means.  I'm going to start walking again with my husband, and I feel my best chance for success is to get a stationary recumbent bike for the living room.  I like watching documentaries and playing my Xbox, so I may as well work out while I'm doing it, haha.  There's also a rec center near where I live, with a pool for laps and from what I hear, a very decent weight room/gym,  which my husband is getting all kinds of xcited to join. 

The biggest challenge I forsee to this whole thing is dealing with my husband when he's hungry.  He's just like I am, a huge fan of food and ALWAYS hungry.  The first couple of days were very distressing when the preop diet started, because he didn't realize it was going to be so hard for m to be without food.  But he's become more considerate very quickly, even getting ready to start his own high protein/low carb diet so he can lose weight as well.  He wants us to be the "hot" couple.  I just want to be healthy.  I already feel better - my headaches have disappeared because all of the water I'm drinking, i'm never sick to my stomach anymore, and my blood glucose levels are already stabilizing.  I really hate to say it, but it feels really weird to feel this good.  If only I could get rid of these allergies, I'd be the epitome of health!

I'm going to try to write in this thing as often as I can.  I think it'll be good for me to get out what's going on with my surgery and progress, especially if it helps anyone else on their journey as well.  If anyone ever has any questions for meregarding my progress or procedures, and what steps to take when, I'm more than happy to answer them if I can. I hope to inspire at least one other person to begin their new life, other than my husband, who already is looking forward to a new us.