Reflection on the year 2002...I sit here and think about all that has changed in the past year. Not just The World and the War on Terror, The Osbourne's & Anna Nicole or Michael Jackson's baby dangling episode, but.....How life & living are totally different than one year ago. My pre op pics were taken New Years Eve 2001, right before hubby and I went out to dinner (It was one of the only times I did my hair and applied the make-up)....Restaurant Italia's famous New Years All You Can Eat Crab Legs.....still had no surgery date, couldn't work due to my size and state, waiting on insurance and eating to my hearts content, not knowing if I'd see tomorrow with my health literally failing at the age of 27...not able to walk very far and using Amigo carts in stores (I know my husband was embarrassed, even though he never said a word), short of breath and full of sweat at any given time of the day, Joe putting on my shoes, like a child, because I could not do it myself, taking meds for Diabetes and edema & just not living or liking much about life anymore....A 3 year research and insurance battle had me more depressed than ever, but I still had a single glimmer of hope that this surgery would happen and help me regain life and living......
February 8th 2002....my life did change. Almost as if I awoke from anesthesia screaming in pain, but screaming because the old me, the me who didn't care about herself, the me who was killing herself with food was leaving my soul. I was determined to do this. Determined to regain health, living, family, friends and LIFE. No longer was I going to watch the parade pass me by, I was going to be an active participant. No longer will food run me. No longer will I NOT care about my appearance. Gone were the days of Buffet Food Establishments or All You Can Eat dinner specials....A new ME had stood up and said "Hey, I'm worth it! I'm worth living for!"
As the months have passed and the pounds have melted, I have began loving myself and loving what has always lived inside, but was afraid to show her face. I have gained a new career and being a mom & wife has never been so fun :o)....although I still feel the urge to pull my hair out every couple of days with a 4 and 2 year old....playing in the snow and making Angels couldn't have come at a better time. This Xmas I was on the floor opening gifts with my girls. Last Year, I didn't know if I could get off the floor, so I didn't bother getting down there!
I have gained life and living. I've made some amazing friends and all I find myself wanting to do is help others who have walked in my shoes. I still haven't gotten up enough nerve to approach a stranger about surgery, cuz I know surgery is not for everyone....it's a personal decision within ones self that has to be made. I'm just so happy I made mine!
Hugs to you all and I wish you all a healthy, prosperous THINNER 2003!!!
Jackie Hutchison
Open RNY 2/8/02
Dr. Marymor at BTC Ypsi
369 to 212 -157#
loss of 103.5" from my body