janetf83
The Journey Continues
Apr 08, 2011
At 5 weeks out, I'm feeling pretty good, except for the fact that until this morning I hadn't lost any weight in 3 weeks. So annoying! The scale moved a couple of pounds this morning. Hopefully that trend will continue. I've gotten on track with my eating and vitamin plan. Some days though, I feel like I'm overly full. Probably due to constipation which I'm still working on regulating.I must say that there are times I smell or see something and just want some SUGAR. Anything would do. I typically close my eyes and breathe, and think about blocking out that anxiety. I can actually feel my heart start to race when I smell or see the sugar. This is a real addiction. After a couple of minutes I start to calm down. Practicing not giving in to my compulsion to medicate with sugar is still difficult. I feel as if I don't get some sugar something bad will happen. I don't know what that will be, but somehow it seems worth worrying about at the time. Strangely, at times I actually intentionally walk through the bakery section to "visit" my old friends. What's that about. It seems when I choose to be exposed I can handle it and don't go into craving mode. I also turn on the food channel at times to watch shows of people preparing food, sometimes food I know is poison for me. I enjoy it. What's that about? Do drug addicts go watch other people doing drugs?
I don't know what other strange things I'll end up finding myself doing, but I'm trying to figure this all out. All of the diets I've been on throughout my life have all failed, because in the end I gave into sugar because I knew I could. Now, since I know I dump on sugar ( a miserable accident with liquid tylenol let me know that) what will I turn to when I would usually turn to sugar? I'm working on developing coping skills. It's scarier than you'd think because it's such an unknown.
I'm trying to deal with resuming a "normal life" now. I started this week with celebrating my birthday without a cake. Big deal for me. You know what? I still felt "celebrated" without the cake, ice cream etc. In fact I felt so good since my family made an effort to take my out for dinner where I could have fish, and gave me tickets for a family outing to a baseball game - something I like to do. It was so much better than the usual "fat" meal and a gift card.
Really have to sort out all the sizes of clothes I have in my closet. I know I have some 2X's and 22's that would fit better than what I'm wearing. Fun problem to have, no?
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About Me
Woodinville, WA
Location
26.9
BMI
Surgery
03/01/2011
Surgery Date
Feb 18, 2011
Member Since
