Jayc66
Am I being too hard on myself?
Jun 27, 2010
Five (5) weeks before starting my pre-op diet I decided I better prepare myself. I anticipated having great difficulty switching to a meager diet of 4 diabetic boost drinks, 1 oz of skim milk mozzarella and 2 fruits a day. So, I started replacing either lunch or supper with one of my boosts. I was delighted to see that I began losing weight right away. During that time I lost a total of 15 lbs. A pretty good start I thought...Then along came June 9th and the real "diet". Just 1000 calories a day... Amazingly I'm doing well on it. I don't seem to have much hunger and when I do I just have some fat free bouillon and I feel fine. I think it actually helps to balance the sweet/salt intake so I don't really feel like I'm missing anything. I can honestly say I haven't cheated unless, of course you think an extra raspberry counts!
I deluded myself into thinking I was going to lose a ton of weight on this next phase. I mean if I could lose 15 lbs by just simply replacing a meal surely it would melt right off on this diet... NOT! Imagine my utter disgust when that didn't happen. Today is the 19th day and I've only lost another 10 lbs. I know I should be happy with that but I'm really feeling discouraged. I know, Rome wasn't built in a day... blah, blah, blah... but I must be ingesting a lot less than I was before.
I should try and put things in perspective. The 15 lbs was over 5 weeks, this latest 10 lbs has been lost in just 2 1/2! I so wanted to lose 50 lbs before my surgery on July 14. I get the sense I should come to terms with the possibility that that may not happen. Ugh! I feel like Lucy from the peanuts.. "Good grief!"
This to shall pass... The truth is I am becoming obsessed with decreasing numbers... that's not such a bad thing is it? I guess as long as I don't get so discouraged that I lose sight of my accomplishments.... I just want to shed the term "super obese" along with years of mislead self preservation...
