Jennangel122397
Consultation scheduled: August 2nd, 2005!!!
My name is Jennifer, I am 30 years old, and single mother to a 7 year old girl. I am currently a student working toward a degree in computer engineering.
I have been interested in weight loss surgery for a long time. It wasn't until I found out my brother and his wife had the surgery(on the same day no less!) and a few other close friends that were having/looking into surgery that I decided to feel that surgical weight loss might be an option for me. Also, over the past few years I have seen the devastating consequences of my family members dying prematurely and becoming impaired and immobilized by being severely overweight. My biggest fear is that if I don't do something about losing weight, I may not be able to see my daughter grow up.
I have been plump, chubby, and overweight at different times in my life. It didn't help growing up in a home where my mom prided herself on her babies and children being overly plump and from my dad who was from an old world Italian family that ate like there was no tomorrow. I never had a chance! Life seemed to revolve around food, when I was eating I would think about how long it would be before I would eat again. This destructive pattern followed me from childhood into adolescence and on to adulthood.
I was once a very active child, loved to roller skate and be outdoors. As I got older my weight slowly began to creep up on me. When I was about 11, I already weighed about 150 pounds and wearing misses size clothing. When I was 12, my grandmother died and my whole world fell apart. I also started a new school that year weighing 165 pounds and wearing a size 20. School was a nightmare, being constantly teased and berated by others for being overweight. I learned to hide and blend in as best as I could. By the time I graduated high school I weighed 230 pounds. I managed to keep this weight for a while, even losing some and getting to 220 after my daughter's birth in 1997. But it wasn't long before my weight went up and after losing my father in 1999, my weight was 250. After that all hell broke loose....I was working a job I hated, my stress level was through the roof and I ate, ate, and ate some more. My blood pressure was up, suffering from sleep apnea, and the physical and emotional trauma of being up to 340 pounds.
I'm not religious and all, but I asked God to show me some kind of direction and help me make decisions to change my life for the better. I couldn't take the stress of working where I was anymore and quit. During early 2004, I met Rose Espinoza (Evans) and she was a relatively new post-op at the time. I asked her a lot of questions and she referred me to Dr. Krahn. I attended one of his seminars in mid-2004 and started on the process of educating myself about bariatric surgery. I got another job after that but lost it because I couldn't stay awake (due to the sleepiness caused by the sleep apnea). I decided that going back to school was the best option and even though it's been tough on me physically, it has totally been worth it. I've done better than I ever have in school, making the Dean's List and Honor Roll with Highest Honors. I am so very proud of that!
I went through Loma Linda University Medical Center to get my surgery. During this time, I had to go through the Center for Health Promotion to see a doctor there and a dietician as well. All was going well and eventually moved on to get me consultation and do my upper GI, EKG, and psychiatric evaluation. I was going through a lot of crap with my ex who showed up out of the blue to be a dad after being absent for more than 6 years and giving me problems over custody of my daughter. Needless to say, I failed my psych eval. This was totally DEVASTATING for me and I decided to put surgery on the back burner. Maybe the surgery wasn't for me. I decided to take a heavy load of classes, 18 units, in the meantime. Over those months, I decided the surgery WAS for me! I decided I needed this surgery to become a healthier person! So I swallowed my pride and called the bariatric coordinator to see what I needed to do to move forward in the process. And here I am now...WOO HOO!
August 11th, 2005
I saw my primary care doctor yesterday and his office is supposed to send my medical clearance to Dr. Krahn's office today. I see Dr. Anderson at the Primary Care Residents Clinic at Loma Linda University Faculty Medical Center. He has been supportive of me getting the surgery and is a kind and compassionate doctor. I hope to hear from Dr. Krahn's office soon so I can move on to my nutrition class!!!! Hmmmmm....just called Dr. Krahn's office and I guess my doctor didn't write the clearance in the way that it is required. I left a message earlier with Dr. Anderson's office to call me so I will update once Dr. Krahn gets my clearance.
August 28th, 2005
I called Dr. K's office last Monday and found out my paperwork had been submitted for approval. I called my bariatric coordinator to ask her when my paperwork was submitted and she said I had been approved the same day!! She had tried to call me the day before but had the area code mixed up. I called Dr. K's office and they said they would be calling sometime in September to schedule my nutrition date. So, again I wait.........
September 1st, 2005
Woo hoo!! Dr. Krahn's office called me today to schedule my nutrition class. September 9th!! Yes!! I am glad to be moving along!!
September 9th, 2005
I am looking forward to the nutrition class on Friday! I keep thinking about my (hopefully soon) post-op life!! Some things I am looking forward to:
1. Feeling better! Enough said!
2. Leading a more active lifestyle! Being overweight for so many years has imprisoned my mind, body, and spirit.
3. DOING more with my daughter, instead of just WATCHING!!
4. Being able to walk without having to stop and rest all the time!! I want to be able to RUN again, something I haven't been able to do since I was a child!
5. Finishing my education! I put off going to school for a long time due to embarassment of my weight. Seeking WLS has inspired me to go back NOW!!
6. Being able to cross my legs! I have never been able to cross my legs at any point in my adult life.
7. Seeking new employment! My weight has caused health problems that do not allow me to work at this time. I miss working!!
8. Being able to walk into any store and purchase something off the rack! I look forward to cutting up my plus size store credit cards!
9. Knowing I will be around for the LONG TERM for my daughter!
10. Knowing my depression will improve as my health improves!
11. Being able to use "normal" size chairs with arms on them! (And not having them stuck to your rear end once you get up!!)
12. Being able to drive without the steering wheel rubbing against my stomach and wearing out all my clothes!!
13. Being able to use the seat belt instead of only laying it over me!
14. Being able to actually SLEEP restfully!! I look forward to returning the CPAP machine!!
15. Actually feeling ATTRACTIVE!! Not worried about being attractive to others, but feeling attractive for myself!!
16. Being able to wear SHOES again and not just sandals! I still want to wear sandals, but I want to wear strappy, sexy ones!
17. Being free from pain!! Living life around pain and swelling really sucks!
18. Being able to be more HYGENIC!! No matter how hard you try to keep clean, it's never quite enough! Looking forward to not having rashes, boils, and other skin infections!
I know there's more I want to add here, but I can't think of them right now!!!
As I go through this process, I find myself worrying about one thing quite a bit. I look forward to my surgery, but also think about the "what-ifs." I worry about what will happen to my daughter if something happens to me. I would recommend to all single parents having surgery to have something drawn up stating your wishes, just in case!
September 9th, 2005
I went to the nutrition class this morning. There was a lot of information given and discussed. Everyone got a binder with all kinds of pre op and post op information. The best part was....I GOT A DATE!!!!! My date is scheduled for December 21, 2005!!!!! This is both good and bad news. The good news is yes, I have a date, which is good since others in the class were scheduled nearly two months after me. The bad news being that this date is 2 days before my daughter's birthday and 4 days before Christmas!!!!! I am afraid my daughter wasn't too happy to know I was going to be in the hospital on her birthday, but I think things will all work out for the best!!!!! I did put myself on a list for an earlier date if there happens to be a cancellation in October. My pre-op appointment is scheduled for December 13th, 2005. I didn't lose any weight in the last week, which is a little disappointing, but at least I haven't gained!!!
September 16th, 2005
I went to Route 66 Rendezvous this evening with my family. It's an enormous classic car show situated over the entire downtown San Bernardino area. I was walking it, huffing and puffing all the way, thinking "this time next year I am gonna feel sooooo much better than I do now and walk this whole damn thing!" Going to do things that require a lot of walking right now really take it out of me!!! Kids were a little disappointed that we won't be going to the Rose Parade this year because I will only be 10 days post op. I admit I am gonna miss it too, we have gone every year for a while now. They are a little bummed too about not doing our Christmas routine as well. I *hope* to get out of the hospital on Christmas day, that would be day 4. We'll have to see about that!!
September 26th, 2005
I thought of a few more things I look forward to as a result of having weight loss surgery.....
19. No longer hearing children and adults snicker and make jokes about my weight.
20. Sitting on something without having to wonder, "Is this going to hold me?"
21. No longer being out of breath from such simple actions as bending over and sitting upright in a chair.
22. Being able to volunteer for a worthwhile cause and be physically up to it.
23. No longer wearing a clothing size that has an "X" in it!
Hmmmm....thought I had a few more but I will add more later!
November 13th, 2005
I've been to the weight loss support group a few times as a step to prepare for surgery. All I can say is this group is awesome! The first time I attended a few weeks ago everyone spoke about how much weight they have lost. There were about 35 people there and the weight loss was around 1,800 pounds! Nearly a TON! At the last support group a few days ago everyone talked about what they were thankful for. It was no surprise that everyone talked of how grateful they were for the surgery and I realized how grateful I am as well. Just being able to get weight loss surgery, a chance to be reborn, a chance at LIVING for the first time in my life is something pretty amazing! Also, I am so very thankful for my family. My aunt is taking care of my daughter while I am in the hospital and my cousin and his wife will take her for a week after that! My family is so good to us! I find myself counting the days and can never remember being so excited about anything in my entire life! My daughter has become my biggest defender. A kid at her school told her, "Your mom is fat!" and she told him "Not for long, you'll see!" Bless her heart!
November 23rd, 2005
Today begins the 4 week countdown to my surgery! YAY! I've been trying to get things together here, cleaning the house real well, getting gifts for my daughter's birthday and Christmas, and getting registered for school. I plan on taking online classes this semester since school starts less than 3 weeks after my surgery. I don't want to wait any longer! I asked my daughter and nephew's if they would be willing to wait until later on Christmas day to open presents just in case I haven't been released from the hospital yet. My younger nephew said, "We'll even wait until the 26th if you want us to!" I sure hope I'm here! I'm elated that I get to start the new year healthier! I also thought of a few more things I am looking forward to post op.
24. Having someone I know well but maybe haven't seen in a while not recognize me!
25. Getting a driver's license with a new thinner face on it!
26. Having someone tell me I need a new picture on my driver's license because I don't look like that any more!
27. Not shuffling my feet anymore when I walk because my legs won't be so heavy to lift anymore.
28. Not having to explain to people that I am OK because I breathe so hard while talking on the phone or in person.
Also, I found a few quotes which I liked and I wanted to share them.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it - Helen Keller
Great thoughts reduced to practice become great acts - William Hazlitt
The highest human purpose is always to reinvent and celebrate the sacred - N. Scott Momaday
Any transformation serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living but a full on metamorphosis!
One last note here....Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
December 13th, 2005
I had my last pre-op appointment this afternoon. My friend, Dan, came with me since he's going to be staying with me after surgery. I went through admitting first, which was real easy and then was sent up to "Same Day Testing" for blood work, EKG, and to see someone who gave me a spirometer to use after surgery. After that, I got sent over to have a chest xray done. Everything went really quick. I had an appointment with Dr. Krahn this afternoon and went over some more paperwork with Sandy and saw Dr. Krahn for the last time before surgery. I can't believe surgery is only 8 days away!!! I was happy to be down another 4 pounds and that makes a total of 30 pounds lost pre-op!!!
December 20th, 2005
I can't believe my surgery is tomorrow!!!! I am sooooo excited and scared too! I look forward to being a big "loser"!!!!
December 26th, 2005
I am home and feeling very good so far!!! I got to St. Bernadine's on the morning of Dec. 21st @ 9:30 a.m. at which point they gave me a room and started an IV on me. Later on in the afternoon, around 3:30 p.m. I was taken to the pre op surgical area where I met with Dr. K's PA Darrin, Dr. K., and the anesthesiologist. All I can say is I was freaking out and crying but they put me at ease. I was taken into the operating room where I was strapped on a table and someone was laying heated blankets on me. I remember looking up at the anesthesiologist and that was the last thing I remember. I remember waking up and only being able to open my eyes for a few seconds at a time and having many people poking at me!! LOL I remember pulling off the oxygen my nose about 10 times and someone getting really irritated with me. I woke up long enough to feel myself be lifted onto a bed. Dr. K said my surgery went "perfect, no complications". I went back to my room where my friend Dan was waiting for me. I remember more people poking at me while in the room!!! Jeez when does it stop? LOL I was able to get up about 6 hours after surgery was finished and walk the hall for the first time. Boy, I thought my guts were gonna fall out for sure!! All in all, other than the care being lax there at St. B's, things were ok. Even worse than being cut open was the fact that all my IV's kept blowing and it was so very painful to have to get more IV's!! What I have been amazed at is how good I feel so far. The pain has not been quite as bad as I expected and the best part is everything I have eaten so far has not made me sick at all. My incision has healed beautifully and only looks like a scratch now. The drains are totally irritating... especially the JP. I soooo look forward to getting rid of that!! I forgot to weigh myself the morning of going to the hospital. But upon getting home from the hospital, I weighed 305 so at least 5 lbs lost so far. Yay!!!
December 29th, 2005
All I can say is everyday I am amazed by this surgery!!!!! Every day I seem to find something new and some kind of physical improvement in my body. Yesterday, I was at the park and my brother and I had walked quite a distance and suddenly I realized I was NOT out of breath! My lung function has improved, my family says my snoring no longer makes the house rattle!! I also feel like I sleep more soundly as well. On another positive note, I weighed myself this morning and the scale said 291. So that's a loss of at least 20 pounds just since surgery nine days ago!!!
January 3rd, 2006
Happy New Yeat everyone!! I had my post op appointment and I am down 19.5 pounds according to Dr. K's scale!! My JP tube fell out a few days ago and no complaints there!! But removing the G tube HURT!!! I thought my insides were gonna come out!! On a more positive note, he said I was doing well and my incision looks super. Woo hoo!!
January 18th, 2006
Saw Dr. K again yesterday and am down 27 pounds since Dec. 21st. I've been finding it difficult cause I had been stuck at a plateau for more that a week at a time! I have decided not to weight myself every day anymore as it is frustrating! I need to have Dr. K prescribe my vitamins (Bariatric Advantage) and then the health plan will pay for them! Good thing cause they are kinda expensive!
February 1st, 2006
I am now down to 273, so that's a total of 37 pounds since surgery and 67 pounds total! YAY! The only setback I seem to have is the fact I keep falling!! I have fallen 3 times HARD in the last few weeks, one time falling down three steps. I don't know if it's because my weight has changed or what. Totally frustrating though. I am starting to see small bits of definition in my legs and I can almost see the muscles in my arms! I have gone down a size in pants and one in my shirt size as well. Last time I remember wearing a 2X was probably before I had my daughter 8 years ago.
February 14th, 2006
I am now 271 and getting frustrated. I am really having a hard time with these long periods of plateaus. I walk daily and am eating the correct amount of proteins and drinking enough water, but am still very fatigued. I'm not sure if I am losing inches or not, but no weight loss in two weeks!
March 24th, 2006
I was 246 as of yesterday morning and have not been this weight since I had my daughter! Woo hoo! I am sleeping so much better and wake up feeling refreshed now. I joined a gym a few weeks ago and usually work out 3 hours a day now. My endurance has been going through the roof! People have begun to notice I have lost weight and that is such a great feeling and a total confidence booster! I got my driver's license renewed this morning and I asked the clerk to change my weight to a lesser amount. I showed her my old license, of which I no longer look like at all! I told her I had lost nearly 100 pounds and she was more than happy to change it to 150 from 200! I told her it was important to me and how much I appreciated it and that having it at 150 will give me something to look forward to!
April 11th, 2006
I am down 100 pounds now off my highest weight! AMAZING! I have been stuck for a few days at 240.
April 25th, 2006
I am down to 233 as of this morning. Sometimes I feel like the weight is coming off oh-so-slow but I have to remain positive and know that it is coming off! Every day I realize I am truly blessed to have had gastric bypass surgery. I took a trip over Easter weekend to Detroit, Michigan and I know I would not have dared doing it before! I was sooooo worried that the seat belt still would not fit me BUT not only did it fit, I was able to tighten it with 6-8 inches left over! I had a wonderful time there and was able to do a lot of walking and see the sights. I bought a sweatshirt at the M-Den and I was astonished it was only a large and I still had some room in it! I have not worn a size large since I was 11 years old!
May 2nd, 2006
I am down to 229 pounds today. I am ECSTATIC! I have not been this weight since high school more than 12 years ago.
May 25th, 2006
I am currently 223 right now. I have lost almost half of my hair in the last month which has been traumatic for me. I look so much better now and then I am going bald! Go figure! My weight loss is slow right now and it is frustrating. Still, I think about all the good things that have happened since surgery! Last night, I skated to the downtown area and home again, about a 3 mile long trip! I could not even get on roller skates before!! Also, I tried riding a bike for the first time in about 15 years and was able to do it! I have been having a problem with blood sugar dropping very low in a short period of time but I am trying to make sure I eat a little more often to take care of that problem. I am anxious to get out of the 200's! Right now, I am about a size large on the top and a size 18/20 on the bottom! Amazing!
June 17th, 2006
I am down to 211 this morning! Woo hoo! I am eagerly looking forward to breaking the 200's!! I haven't been 200 pounds since I was 15 years old!! I am getting to where people I know actually do a double take or also some people almost don't recognize me anymore! I think that is soooooo cool! I have had to buy some new clothes since I actually have nothing to wear! LOL I bought a cute pair of bermuda shorts in a size 16!!! Even though they were snug, I still got them zipped! Also, my shoe size has gone down 2 1/2 whole sizes from a 9-9 1/2 to a 7-7 1/2!! I splurged the other day and bought three new pairs of sandals!!
July 20th, 2006
I am stuck at 202...soooooo close to the 100's! I haven't been less than 200 since I was 14-15 years old. I have been working out again to firm my arms up. For the first time ever, I was able to get on the chin/dipmachine and lift half my body weight. Did quite a few pull ups and lifts as well. I have been doing better thankfully, last month I broke a rib and fractured two others while skating. But the best part by far is all the new things I can do now! I am constantly amazed at how much different life is now. I mean everyone said there was going to be big changes but I just didn't have a grasp of just how MUCH!! The way people treat you is so different! I am finding old habits die hard too. I still think "Is this chair going to hold me?" or "Am I going to fit in that?". It's a damn hard habit to break! I find my outlook on life has changed signifigantly and for the first time in my life, I see a future ahead of me.
August 7, 2006
I finally broke the 200's barrier and am now at 197. The weight is coming off much slower now and that is disappointing since I don't have a heck of a lot left to lose (about 47 pounds). I am happy though since I feel so much better! I find I enjoy telling people that I have had it and to encourage anyone who has thought about getting the surgery as well!
August 22st, 2006
I am currently at 191. Feel amazing and even if the last pounds are slow to go, I can deal with that. My next major goal is to become 170 pounds which means I will be exactly HALF of what I originally was. Only 21 more pounds away! I am hoping this will happen in the next two months, but as long as it happens is what is important! What is so cool to me now is that my BMI is only 39.9 which only puts me in the "obese" range and not "super super morbidly obese" category.
October 2nd, 2006
I am now 181 and 11 pounds from being half of who I was when I started this journey! I am still aiming for a goal of 150 and am hoping post tummy tuck that I will be 140. It's amazing though, to be only 31 pounds away from my goal and I see it as being completely attainable now!
******NEW UPDATE!!!!!******
June 14th, 2008
It has been a long, long time since I last posted here! To date, I have lost 180 pounds and have reached a weight of 160 pounds. My only regret is that I did not do it sooner! My life has really changed since I last posted. Most importantly, I went back to school and got my first degree and found the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with!
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