jessica0378

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I wanted to be at my goal weight on or before my 1 year surgiversary, and I am so close yet 12 lbs away. I have about 15 days til July 12th, and 17 days til my 1 year appt with Dr Monk. Do you think I can do it? I think I can if I really work hard at it. It's going to involve making good eating choices, walking a lot on my treadmill and a ton of self control!

 Yes, I can tolerate junk food, and although I very rarely eat it, I can. That's a danger, but these days, I'd rather grab for a handful of fresh sweet cherries or grapes than chips or candy.

I thought I was in love with the sugar free Rita's Italian Ice, but guess what???  Rita's = really, really BAD SMELLY gas!!!! I couldn't pin point what caused it either, until I got Rita's 2 days in a row, and HELLO!!!! Found out fast!

Water aerobics is done until the fall. I must admit that I only went to like 1/2 of the classes. I just had things going on, forgot or didn't feel like going. I promised Monica, the instructor, that I would be back in the fall. Session starts Sept 9th. This time, I will make every class other than WLS support group meeting Tuesday, which is always the first Tuesday at 7pm.

Well, I have to get out the door for work. Thanks GOD it's FRIDAY!

Until last week, it'd been about 3 weeks since the scale has moved, and if I want to reach my goal of 155 by July 12th, I'm going to have to really work super hard to do it. I last weighed in at 170lbs. That's 15 lbs to go until my goal.

JC Penney's was having this big clearence sale and summer dress sale, so I bought 2 dresses last week when Jim and I were at the mall. I tried 2 dresses on in a size 14, and both fit, but I had some room. I really preferred to get them in a 12, but there were none that size, so the 14's came home with me.

I was down my mom's this weekend for the Annual church yard sale, and I took the dresses with me. I thought I'd check the store in White Marsh for the 12's. They didn't have 12's either, so just for "shiggles" (shits & giggles) I decided to try on a 10. Well, damn if the 1o's didn't fit! YIPPIE!!! I ended up with a 10 petite in the one and a 10 in the other. I got petite cause it's all I could find, and it fit better since the shoulder straps in the 14 were soooo long. I would have had to add another button hole to shorten. Anyways, I was "happy as a skunk eating shit" (as my Granny Franny would have said). I even tried on a "prom" dress, that is more like a night out cocktail dress, about knee length, and it fit great, so my mom said I HAD to get it. All the "prom" dresses are marked down to $9.97!!!!!! I plan to wear that one evening at Downtown Disney since it's wrinkle resistant and packable.

My dad is staying again this week while Jim is working out of town. We went last night to get paint for my bathroom then to dinner at Longhorn. I didn't order from the kids menu as I usually would, so it cost a little more, but I have 1/2 a sweet potato and about 6 oz of my steak left over. That's another meal and then some! It'll be great for lunch today!

Well, here are a few pics in the dresses I bought.

Well, in an attempt to make a little money to pay on our Disney trip, I listed my wedding dress on ebay. It got 1 bid, and sold for $149.99 I was really wanting it to sell for more, at least $250 or more, since it cost a lot more to make. Plus, the time that went into it with my Aunt, but at least it's going to a new bride. It was custom designed and sewn by my Aunt Marg and I from 2 sewing patterns and a photo of my "dream gown". It only took 10 days to complete, then she added additional details here and there. It was so beautiful and special to me. There's really no use for it now though. It's been stores in a box from the cleaners, in the garage for 2.5 years now, and it's not like I'd ever wear it again. Looking back, this was made for a 26/28W person, who could not buy a wedding dress off a rack, and now, I'm almost 1/2 that size! SWEET!

We're going to use the $150 towards our Disney trip, and we're sure to make more memories there in October.

 

Not entirely too much is new. I started water aerobics this week, and boy does it feel great to get back into the groove. It's 2 1 hour classes a week, and this is a short session, til the end of June.

Yesterday I found a fitness station on Direct tv. I did 30 min of yoga! Wow, that's relaxing, and again, I felt energized after doing it! The hardest move for me was the crane. I just can't seem to get my knees on my arms and lift my feet off the floor, but I'm working on it.

I started taking my Prozac last night. It was given to me for PMS/PMDD mood swing, which since surgery, always leave me in tears at least 1 day prior to my "aunt" visiting. Hopefully this will help. I probably should have started it Friday since I'm closer to the date now, but better late than never. Jim HATES me taking pills, but it's not like I have that many to take. I take Zyrtec nightly for allergies, Flexeril for my neck when it gets really really bad, Ambien when I can't sleep, which is very rare these days, and now Prozac for a few days a month. I think he's just too overprotective sometimes, but geesh....it's hard enough to swallow a tiny tab, for me that is, so my parents didn't make a pill popper!

Ok, so I took a few photos of me in my Miraclesuit. It really sucks ya in where needed, but I noticed in the water, my butt jiggled more so I'm guessing there's spandex/lycra lacking in that area. Now usually a problem area in a swim suit though, so it's all good. In the first pic, you can see how great this swimsuit is, but not so much of how my thighs are. Arms a little yucky. In the 2nd pic, I was being goofy, but you can see how small my arms realy are and how much skin I have. Also, legs don't look too bad, but there's wrinkled skin there too.

Here's the pics:

 

Today is my weigh in........172lbs today. That's 130 lost since surgery, 150 lost since my journey began Dec 2006. I lost another #, so I now know that eating more frequently in the day is helping me get back on track. I still have days when my old habits are tempting me, but I get up the power to overcome them. I hope to acheive my 1 year goal of getting to 155lbs on or before my 1 year mark, July 12th.Yesterday, I was craving a Reese cup, and only wanted a bite of one. I was tempted to grab one from the snack box in the break room, but I didn't. It was hard to walk away, but I just talked myself out of it. I don't really need that, and PB makes me feel ill sometimes, and I've worked so hard and come a long way to get where I am. I filled up my water bottle and went back to my desk. After drinking a litle water, I had a stick of gum then I waited 30 min and had a Kashi granola bar and went on with my day.  The hardest part is knowing that I can eat small amounts of "junk" and not get sick, and that I can eat a little of anything and still lose weight...FOR NOW....that's going to change, and I'm going to have to be on my best behavior. I'm getting to know my new self and new body and new stomach, and it's tough. I recognize stressers that send me lurking for food that I don't need/really want. Stress, boredom, peer pressure, "monkey-see-monkey-do", etc. I have to negotiate with myself over a trade (gum), find something to do that makes it impossible to eat at the same time (sewing, take a walk, get on internet), or just realize that I don't NEED it.Here's a sample of things I eat:Breakfast: 1/2 to 1 cup of cereal and milk or I put the Kashi cereal over 1/2c yogurt with fresh fruit or 2 eggs and a strip of bacon, 1 sausage and steal a bite of Jim's pancakes. Mid AM: Kashi granola bar or mozz stick and Kashi crackers or yogurt and fruitLunch: I love the South Beach frozen entrees, also smart ones with low carb and high protein. Hard to find since most frozen meals include starches (rice & pasta). 1/2 small Wendy's chili and 1/2 side salad (yummo!)Mid PM: 1-2 oz almonds/peanuts or applesauce cup and crackers or carrot sticks or fresh fruitDinner: usually a 3-5 oz portion of meat, a bite or 2 of veggies or a sm salad and a bite or 2 of a starch.Eve: blue bunny low carb SF fudge pop or fresh fruit or a few fistfulls of popcorn

I have lost 129 lbs since surgery, 149 since my journey began. I feel great and look forward to summer and warmer weather. That's something I NEVER said at 300lbs. I was always hot and sticky then, but now I freeze most of the time. I guess I lost my insulation.

My labs from my passing out episode showed normal liver function, CBC and sugar was 81. My cardio echo came back perfect. Dehydration is to blame for this episode, and I'm working on getting more water in. I've been keeping a diary of what I eat/drink, so I can account for what I put into my bosy, including my optisource vitamins and b12. It's going good. I saw the nutritionist this week, and she gave me an A+!  WOW!!! I was like OMG! She actually kept some of my pages from my food diary for an example to other WLS patients. She was proud of me for keeping in touch with her and the other medical providers when I have doubts or questions.

Last week I saw my Dr for anxiety related to PMS. She gave me a rx for Prozac to take 2 weeks before Aunt FLo comes for her 4-5 day visit. I'm going to try that cause there's always 1 emotional day that get's the best of me....like ready to quit my job / beat someone up / run away and hide type of days. I can't have that now, so I'm going to try the pills this go round.

I bought a swim suit last weekend, and let me tell you, the Miracle suit is a miracle! Although it takes more than 10 seconds to stuff myself into it(they claim it'll take 10 seconds to lose 10 lbs), it looks great. Now, if I could only do something about my 80 year old thighs and arms. Hmmmm.....maybe surgery is an option...after kids, but I have my priorities.....boobs & arms, than legs if we're not living in a cardboard box after the first surgery.

Here's a new pic we had taken for Mother's Day. Our mom's haven't seen it yet, so don't spoil it for them! It's the best pic ever of me and Jim. It really shows our love for each other, and I can't stop smiling when I ook at it! Hope you enjoy it too. Hugs, Jes

I had a hell of a day yesterday, well morning that is. The dr doesn't know if it was dehydration, low sugar, taking a new pain med (Ultram XR for headaches and neck pain) or a combination of all 3, but about 9am, I stood up and was talking to Jim about the day's plans, then the next thing I know, he's slapping my face saying "baby, talk to me! wake up! I'm going to call 911". Apparently 911 was the magic word that caused me to speak and say "I'm fine". I had hit my right kidney area on the dresser (which feels deeply bruised but not much of a bruise on the outside), hit my head on the mirror of the dresser, and then fell between the wall and dresser. I was only out for about 30 seconds, but it felt like longer. I could hear Jim talking to me, as I was coming out of it, but I couldn't see him. He said my eyes were open the whole time, but I could only see darkness and shadows. It was so scarry! He got me up onto the bed and I started to come back more and I asked for ice water and the phone. I knew we had office hours on Sat am, so I called work to see if there were any openings left. Good thing people don't like to sit around the dr office when it's 75-80 and sunny out. Anyways, I'm fine now, and I have to get blood work done tomorrow. He said it was up to me if I wanted a echocardiogram done, and I said yes just to be sure it wasn't my heart. Before I left, they checked my sugar, and although I hadn't eaten a thing, it was 32. Dr Cutti gave me crackers milk and apple sauce and within a minute, it was 76. I still think it was a bad reading, but who knows.  The Dr told me to take it easy this weekend, and make sure I drink plenty of water and eat every few hours. So once, again, another person telling me that only 3 meals a day is bad news! I can't wait to see the nutritionist in 2 weeks!

I am able to wear that "size 12 goal dress" now, remember, the little black one I bought like a year ago at JC Penny's for $15? Here's a pic

Ok, so according to his scale, I was 181 on Wed. That's with clothes on, and I always weigh naked at home, so it's about normal to be 2-3 lbs off. 181 is a 121 lbs lost since surgery, 141 lbs lost since my journey began. Impressive considering where I was only 1 year ago.

 Dr Monk said I am doing great and to keep up the good work. He told me that I need a "new fun hobby", and asked if I ever played tennis or golf. (BLEH!) I'm not sure where this came from, because seconds before, we were talking about my outstanding lab report. Anyways, I told him that I've been walking 2-3 times a week on my treadmill, at least 1 mile each time, and he said, "but is that much fun?" "Well, not really", I said, "but It's more activity than I've EVER done in my life, and I don't mind getting up earlier to get it in." I told him that I enjoy sewing and I do a lot of crafty things, and he said, "Is sewing a new hobby"? Um....no.  So his next comment was....."maybe you could take up knitting". You should have seen his eyes get so big when I said, "I already know how to knit Dr Monk".

Anyways, for the whole 10 minutes he was in the room, the questions I had excaped my mind, and he was ready to walk out of the room, and I said...but wait! I have questions! I asked about my dizzyness, and he said that's my heart adjusting to the new body, and it'll get better, and that it isn't dehydration. He said it wouldn't hurt to drink more water, but that it's my heart, not having to work so hard. That answer really doesn't satisify me, so if it doesn't improve before my 12 month visit, I'm going to seek further answers elsewhere. I also asked about the moodyness around that "time of the month" and told him that I'd never had this happen before surgery since I didn't get my periods regular, and he said that I have to be glad for getting them now, and I should drink less caffene the week before.  Um...I drink decaf if I drink any coffee at all, so that couldn't be it. Could this warrant a visit to mental health to get meds so I don't flip out the week before my period?

Ok, and the final thing that I wanted to discuss, was the eating only 3 meals a day. I know where he firmly stands on that,.  AND, not to step on his toes about it, but I'm seeking help from Julie, the nutritionist. I have an appt early May to get this under control.

I have started adding a snack in the am and pm, and since I'm writing everything I eat down, I've broken my stall and lost another 3 lbs this week. I've just been told by so many others that your body is a engine and you have to feed it to keep your metabolism up. I've been feeling better since doing this, and will continue as a trial until I see Julie, for her nutritional professional advise. It's also helping me track my fluid intake and vitamins too. I'm counting carbs, protein, fat and calories.

Well, I have to cut short because I am already 7 min into my treadmill time. Have to get on there for my 2nd time this week.

Sorry I have not updated in awhile. I have been working a lot of OT, and with the fashion show and all, it's been a little hectic!

 I've been walking/jogging on my treadmill 2-3 times a week, and finally passed my 10 stars mark. Today I did 1 mile in about 17 min. I jogged until I was out of breath, to a really fast song, then slowed it down to 3 mph to walk another lap.

 I missed my weekly weigh in this am, so I'll do it tomorrow. Eating wise, I've not been doing so great. New office, lots of drug reps = lots of sweets. I know it's ok to have a bite of a cookie from time to time, but I sometimes battle with myself over it, and beat myself up over it. BAD foods haunt me so much, and I thought I had finally won, but it's still a struggle. I've done better this week, and I hope to improve even more next week, but not a day has gone by that I haven't eaten something I shouldn't, even if a little nibble. This might explain why the scale has maintained at 180 lbs, but I'm going to make it move...down..once again.  I've started writing down everything I eat, and that helps. I've also started drinking more fluids, and the fact that "Aunt FLO" will be making a visit to me soon doesn't help, but it's all good.

 Next week I have my 9 month follow up with Dr Monk. I hope that he is proud of me, and can help me get back into the losing groove. I'm thinking of calling upon the nutritionist again for eating tips too. Monk says to ONLY eat 3 meals a day, no snacking. I was told by a health club instructor that many small meals in a day boosts your metabolism, and that my body, with 3 meals a day is storing because it's in starvation mode. I don't know who or what to believe, and I know many people have their own opinions and ideas about this. I'm ok with 3 meals a day, and for the longest time, I really stuck to it. For the most part, I still do, but I do tend to get the urge in the afternoons to grab a bite of something, like almonds or peanuts or a South Beach protein bar. I've also found sugar free gummy bears, although sugar free, it's still a "snack" and should not be eaten. Damn shame cause they are so yummy!

Well, I've got to get to bed. 8am is going to come soon, and I'm beat. TGIF...almost!

Fashion show updates:

For starters, the scale did not move this week, so I'm still at 180 lbs. I DID have birthday cake, but just like 3 bites cause we all know where anymore than that will send us.....to the potty room! (remember, NOTHING has made my puke yet, and I don't want to push the limits! No foamies since Christmas....AWESOME!)

30th Birthday Party with my niece, Sarah Sue!

 

I picked out my 3 outfits at Dress barn, and much to my suprise, I fit into a 12!!! Did you hear me? I said a SIZE 12!!! I know their stuff is cut a little big, but a 12!!! OMG BECKY!!! I picked a dress that is yellow, black and grey; a pair of bermuda shorts and a wrap sleeveless (eeek!) cotton top, and a nice dressy shirt with white pants. It's going to be so much fun! We can get the stuff we model at a discount after the show!

I was at the mall yesterday to look for a pair of black heels for the fashion show, and found the perfect pair at payless. I asked the manager about lending shows for the fashion show, and she said she'll ask the district mgr for approval and it'll be a go! SAWEEEEEEEEEET! Once the show is over, well be offered a discount on the shoes we choose to wear! AWESOME!

 It's easter and they are calling for SNOW! "I'm dreaming of a white EASTER" was not in my plans to be singing this Spring! I just had my birthday and now it's Easter already. Something just doesn't seem right about that!

Well, anyways. I went to Old Navy last night and bought my dress, in a size LARGE. I had tried this dress on before in a XL and it was a lil loose, but looked good. Anyways, when I got home, I tried it on, and although it fits like a glove, it's way shorter than the XL was on me! I mean SHORT like if I bend over I will catch a cold short! It's going back, and I'm going to get either the XL or something else. I DIDN'T get to my 10 stars on my treadmill calender, but I did get $25 for my birthday from our cousins, and Mary told me to go get that dress....so I did! I kinda messed up my treadmill schedule last week, but I did get 2 out of 3 of my days in. I will resume 3 days a week this week. I just had A LOT of errands to do on Wed am before going into work at 11:30, and wanted to get it all done.