The Girl Ninja
Tomorrow 5/23/05 I have the first of two pre-op appts. My Pulmonary breathing test and my abdominal ultrasound. Friday I have my psych eval and my second pulmonary appt. I'm slowly chipping away at the list of things I need to do.
My surgeon (Dr. Barba) has nutritionists he uses and we are supposed to wait for THEM to call us. Wow, that's hard! I want to call and remind them that I'm here dammit! :-) Patience...
5/23/05 - Well my two tests (ultrasound and pulmonary) went flawlessly today! Yahoooooo! The pulmonary tech said from their standpoint I'm an ideal candidate for the surgery... I'm psyched!
6/17/05 - Things are moving along nicely though it's hard to be patient. The nutritionist called me to schedule my appts. They are on June 29th and then on July 26th. I will be put on a diet at the first appt. and then checked for weight loss on the second and also I will attend a pre-surgery class at that time. My cardiology appt isn't until July 12th and then I'll have to do my stress test at another appt. So............ I'm thinking I'll be done hopefully by mid-August. Maybe surgery in Sept?? I can be hopeful can't I? :D My psych eval with Dr. Werboff went very well- he's a very nice man and gave me an unconditional clearance. At least I'm learning patience in this whole process!
6/29/05 - Went to see Dr. Barba's nutritionist today (Julie) and it went really well. I like her alot. She wasn't like the nutritionists I've seen in the past who shove the food pyramid at you and tell you not to exceed 1800 calories. She focused more on the behavioral side of eating and how to change things. That I can relate to alot better than calorie restriction alone. So.. I weighed in at 270.8lbs and my bmi was 47. I hadn't looked at the scale in like 2 months so I wasn't happy with the ten pounds I gained! But that's ok, I'm going forward and starting to adjust my eating. I see her again at the end of July then my file is at the mercy of the front office to check over and forward to Dr. Barba. When he gets it they schedule my consult with him and then after that I have a pre-surgery class describing the gastric bypass process. And after that.... Onto the losing side :-) So, I'm thinking maybe October is more realistic of a possible surgery date!
Nov. 30, 2005
Been awhile since I updated this! I finally have a surgery date of December 19th! I'm nervous and excited. I go to the class at the hospital tomorrow.. Yikes! After all the waiting things are going fast now :-)
Dec. 2, 2005
I went to my pre-op class yesterday at St. Francis. Got my bloodwork done too. The class was good- it went over alot of the things we learned from the nutritionist. A great refresher. I have to say that hearing all the things that would happen in the hospital pre and post op, I got a little squicked! I'm nervous! But I know that when it happens things will cruise along and I won't have time to stress about it. I'm focused on making sure emotionally I'm in the best state I can be when surgery comes!
December 18, 2005
Tomorrow's the big day! I spent today in a state of anxiety but feel better now after talking with a friend who's gone through this. The board here helps tremendously too. I just want to wake up and have it done! I know I'll do fine and I'm excited... On to the new life!
January 5, 2005
Hi Y'all,
I made it through my surgery with flying colors. Had a few sore days after I was home but nothing more serious than that. I am on the Phase 3 diet now which is soft foods including soft fish. I struggle to get down the fish but seem to do well with soft cheese, eggs and soup. I'm still supplementing with Unjury which is the only protein powder that I really like. The struggle is to get all my water in!
Jan 21, 2005
My goodness what a busy last couple of days. My 36th birthday was on thursday and my daughter's 7th b-day was yesterday. So last night I had a house full of little girls for a sleepover. I'm exhausted today- mediating all their little spats was a chore! My daughter was happy though.
Well I'm down to 244.5, my first stall having finally broken on Jan 14th. So I lost 6.5 lbs in 6 days and I'm ecstatic. That makes a total of 24.5 lbs since surgery. Not bad for just over a month. I see Dr. Barba this friday for my six week check up. I'm glad that I'll be able to show another loss at this appointment. Yay!
My hair is falling out like crazy and I did buy biotin but from what I hear there's little one can do about it.
Next month we're heading to San Francisco for a week to visit family. It will be nice to get back to the warm west coast briefly. We're staying on Fisherman's wharf which will be a blast. I'll have to take along my unjury and my entourage of vitamins!
Feb 13, 2006
Well I got back from S.F. just in time for this wonderful blizzard! Today I am 8 weeks out and down 31.5lbs. Even though I'm not supposed to I look at others losses at this point and it seems like I'm losing slow. But that's ok and Dr. Barba said at my last appt. that I was right on target. So I have to trust him and let it go. Me? Let it go? :-)
March 24, 2006
I had my 3 month check-up yesterday with Dr. Barba's nurse practitioner. It went very well. She was pleased with my rate of weight loss and my progress in general. I asked her about the range of calories I should be taking in and she (like Dr. Barba) wouldn't address it with me. She said I needed to stop the whole mental obsession with calorie counting and concentrate on knowing when I'm full or satisfied. Listening to my body's cues like 'normal' people do. She is right! But old habits die hard as we all know and I get so wracked with anxiety over my weight loss that I feel the need for multiple checks and balances. I'll get my bloodwork done to check my levels. Next appt. is in June for my six month.
I'm down to 223lbs today which is a weight I haven't been even previously when I lost 50lbs on my own (about 3 years ago). That was a major threshold for me, seeing myself going below any number that I'd achieved previously! So I am psyched. Now that I'm back at the gym, lifting weights and doing the dreaded cardio I see my body becoming more defined and losing more inches. I've also upped my water intake which was sadly lacking! It's a balancing act isn't it? :-) I feel so fortunate that my journey thus far has been devoid of any major problems. Yes, I have my days where I'm blue and sometimes the anxiousness is enough to make me even more crazy than I already am but all in all I've been lucky. And having a wonderfully supportive husband helps tremendously. He's always there with sincere compliments and support when I need it! Now if I could only teach my kids the same tricks!
April 4, 2006
Made an big milestone for me today- reached 219.5 - the first time I've been in the 2-teens since I don't know when. I'm so psyched that my weight loss has been steady that I keep wondering if it's real! It is real enough, my clothes are all big and I feel my body taking up less space in general! It rocks!
This month is a lonely one for me as my DH is on the road weeks out of 4. At times I think I'm going crazy juggling everything without him. It's just a constant battle to get to the end of the day at times! With three kids the amount of appts., school work, dance classes and so on seem endless. But the upside (and there always is one somewhere) is that I have more energy to do these things :-) But I get anxious when I can't go to the gym the weeks he's gone- even though I'm working out at home I still feel like it's not enough! Crazy as usual...
May 6, 2006
I'm poised on the edge of another milestone for me. I'm at about 211 lbs right now and soon (hopefully) will drop into the single digits. Truly, I can't recall those numbers before in my life! The last number I remember from my childhood was when I was about 12 or 13 and being happy that I'd lost a few pounds and was 170. Oh the obsession of those stupid scale numbers... It's been with me so long that I don't know how to live without it. Terrible! I got my labs back and the only problem was slightly low iron. So now I take a supplement for that. The weather is getting beautiful so walking/hiking outside is now an option. Anthony leaves for Hawaii next Saturday and will be gone for two weeks. I need to plan something fun for me and the kids while he's basking on the beach... Something to help stave off the loneliness!
June 3, 2006
Anthony is back from Hawaii finally! He had a good time but by the second week was ready to come home. I was more than ready for him to come home by then! Not much to report other than I'm in the midst of a stall :-( I know it will pass but it's infuriating none the less! I'm between 209 and 210 and have been for nearly a month now. My period was due on the 26th of May but still hasn't come (not pregnant) although I'm feeling the symptoms- water retention etc. I hope I'm not heading into irregular cycles again. Bah... But, my clothes keep getting looser so something's happening :-)
June 16, 2006
The great May stall seems to be over. Yay! I've dropped to 202.5 and couldn't be more psyched. I have my 6 mos. appt. on the 19th and I imagine will be getting another set of labs done too. Since Ant's been home I've been getting to workout at the gym regularly and I love it. I'm seeing true results- muscle increase in chest, arms, legs. I work my chest alot because I like bench press, butterflies, incline presses etc. My shoulders too. I hate working my arms but I begrudgingly do it. I have to be careful with the legs because of my bad left knee. So needless to say I love weight lifting- it's cardio that I abhor!
Last day of school for my daughters next week. No more rushing around at 7 am! Yay! I will be taking the kids on lots of walks this summer. If the weather cooperates!
August 5, 2006
It's been a brutally hot summer the last few weeks here in New England. And I've found that the heat effects me greatly now that I'm post-op. It did before but it's even more so now. I dehydrate quickly and become sick fairly fast. So, I've been staying in the a/c!
Today I weighed myself and am 190.5!! Sometimes it's like a dream... I am so fortunate to have this tool. I do still look at myself and see me 78lbs ago. I have a feeling I'll keep seeing that person until I get my TT later on. Just the sight of my stomach- no matter how small it's getting instantly brings that old image into my head. Sometimes I think I should look much smaller than I do - but I'm not sure if that's body image issues or what. But not to downplay how thrilled I am with my progress. Never have I lost so much weight- I maxed out before at 50lbs and then gained it all back- as I did with each loss. This is steady and stays off.
I'm still working out 3x a week (when ant's not traveling) and eating cleanly. I had company from CA out for a week and my eating got chaotic (eating out alot, lots of 'new' foods etc)- by the 6th day I was so sick I could hardly function! It was a good reminder though as to why taking care of myself needs to be the top priority.
I also realized (duh) that 'outsiders' do not understand the importance of post-op routines. I tried explaining many times but still heard the same old stuff "maybe if I baked you cookies with splenda you could eat them!" "This is only lightly deep fried, try it!" These were not meant maliciously of course- but just not getting that I am changing my life now and not trying to 'cheat' any more!
I also didn't expect the competitive comments- "I eat the same amount as you do. I watched what you ate and I don't ever eat more than that. I'm sure I can lose weight with you while I'm here" or my favorite... "Just wait til you're thinner, you'll be beautiful!" Eh, that one I've heard all my life but didn't expect to continue to hear now. I've come to suspect (in my lucid moments) that those comments have more to do with THEIR issues than my actual weight. It is my choice whether or not I let such comments effect me. I know I have done phenomenally so far and I am thankful every day!
I cannot believe it is just about time to start thinking about back-to-school shopping. God help me! School clothes, school supplies and then soon after that - cold weather! Yikes. I have been enjoying summer SO much! I'm not ready by any stretch to let go :-)
Sept 9, 2006
184!!! The weight loss is amazing but yet I STILL look at others on the board and everyone (so I think) seems to have lost at least 100lbs at this point in their journey. Not true, I know and some of the most phenomenal 'losers' have had slow but steady losses. And jeez, like this is SLOW! You get spoiled as a post-op and forget what REALLY slow weight loss is like. I used to diet and exercise and see a pound a month come off. I steadily see 6-10lbs per month now. Nothing to complain about here! Nope...
School has started for the kiddies- soccer, dance etc. Anthony's in Alaska again, then he'll be off to NJ and a few other places.
The main focus now is getting ready for his graduation. He's graduating with a B.S. in Workforce Education on Oct. 5th and.....
I'm so proud of him! He's achieved so much this year. He will be making Chief in a couple of months as well. But let's be honest, his biggest achievement this year was being able to physically pick me up :-) Now that's something that hasn't happened since... Well, never- until now!
For his graduation we are going to be bombarded with relatives coming from CA. My house is going to be overrun with people and god knows I don't do well with that! But, I'll deal with it - it's his big day after all.
