jujube
I grew up living in the country - sitting down to dinner - we might each eat two pork chops, a couple ears of corn, potatoes, bread, and dessert - and you had to hurry on the dessert or someone would think you did not want yours and they would eat it for you.
Also, we had to clean our plate always because people were starving all over the world - well let me tell you - I kept some of them from starving. I was not overweight as a child but my mother harped on me continually about my weight. She was very skinny as long as I can remember and she was afraid I would get fat. Living in the country - we were outside doing chores and riding a bike to a friends house was a mile or two at least. 
When I got married and moved out of my parents home it was my husband who was afraid I would gain weight - and as life slowed down - I did put extra weight on.
With my first pregnancy and my father's death - all extra weight came off. With a miscarriage, separation, back together, new pregnancy - I gained some extra. Just not enough exercise and still eating all I wanted.
One more pregnancy and my mother died - weight came on for sure as I buried the loss of my mother in my eating. After the pregnancy, I was about 60 pounds overweight. A couple of years later I started to take it off. I got down to a regular BMI and was looking great. Caught my husband with another woman in my house. Split up with him which was good for all. He had physically and mentally abused all of us. I had just needed one more reason to leave.
Working and back to school, taking care of my kids and learning new ways to dance- country, square and Scottish - kept me slim. Then I added an arobic class to my college routine and totally dislocated my knee. With being used to so much exercise, I was eating quite a bit without a problem.
Now I was down and still eating. And to add to that - the men I was dating brought me boxes of candy and pizza and other foods each time they came to visit.
So here I was again - back to about 40 pounds overweight, knee although healed not allowing me to do as much as I had been doing. 
Finished college still carrying the extra 40 pounds - met my husband who said I looked great the way I was and something inside of me said prove it I guess because I immediately put on another 20. He told me I still looked great and he loved me. So on came 30 more.
Now he tells me he is concerned about my health with my weight but he loves me no matter what. Guess I still wanted proof because I put on about more until I was 145 pounds overweight. Now we are both concerned about my health due to my weight at this time. Through the weight gain and after hitting my max of 283 I tried every diet I read about or heard about. I would lose 20 only to find it again.
Although the scale should not be a God - watching it to maintain my weight would have been good.
- Finish college before getting married
- When someone abused me left them immediately
- Learned a long time ago that I am one of the nicest people on the inside and the outside does not count
Now I am a stay at home mom as when our children were all grown we adopted three sisters. I always wanted to be just a stay at home mom and now I can be. But even in my 50's, I could go out and support myself and my girls if needed.
The decision to have the surgery came after a water arobics class. I saw a man I had not seen for about a year and he had lost so much that I had to ask him what diet he had used. We talked during that class and the next about his surgery. I called my doctor at Kaiser, made an appt. and went in with my notes. But all I had to do was tell him what I wanted and he told me he would be glad to refer me as he thought it was the right path - WOW. The man in my water arobics class was my real angel as I have not seen him since.
Two months later I was approved - I cried when I read it. Then I cried when I found I would not even start the classes for three months. Finally, my classes started - one per month for three months. I am on mylast step when disaster - or at least it felt like that entered our home.
About 1 1/2 years before, we had taken an older sister to our girls and were preparing to adopt her. One week before the adoption was to be completed she called molest on my husband. CPS worked so fast that they ripped all the girls out of our home within an hour.
We called an attorney and was in his office the next day when the CPS worker called to say she was returning our three as it was obvious that nothing had happened and that the older one was grooming the youngers to call molest. They all had two stories that used the exact same words.
The seven assorted people who watched the interviews via camera all felt nothing had happened. Less than 26 hours after it happened - we were told our girls would be returned. I refused to accept the older one back due to the threat she imposed on my husband and also the negative changes I had seen my girls go through from the time she had arrived.
Amazingly - through this I did not gain weight. I had lost 31 pounds since starting the program with Kaiser and was proud that I had not turned to food with all the garbage that went on.
Then my husband - who had been given so much information by me regarding the surgery - freaked when I said "When they staple the stomach off with this surgery, I did not realize the machine actually separates the rest of the stomach." He began to freak and did not want to talk to me about it.
I attended my last class and came home. Told my husband I would try again to lose weight. Took a bad fall, was out of the gym. Got a cold and started drinking carbonated drinks to break the garbage in my throat. Well I am addicted to carbonation. It took me a couple months and more than a couple of pounds to get off the carbonation.
Then I told my husband - I am going forward with the surgery. My reflux is just so bad, I cannot deal with it and the doc offered another surgery for fixing the reflux but it only gives a 50% chance of improving my GERD.
So there I sat - 274 and an appointment with the surgery doctor in order to see where I was. So back on the program really tight because I needed to be back down to at least 258 where I was when I was approved to go ahead with the surgery.
My appointment is on Tuesday and this is Sunday - I am at 263 and cannot seem to get it to budge for the last 3 days. I have thought of all the things I can do to come to that approval weight between now and Tuesday afternoon.
I had also been diagonosed with a slight case of sleep apnea but Kaiser says any sleep apnea and you do the APAC machine for three months. I have been on it for two weeks and hate it - it hurts my nose. I am going to contact them and ask for a different machine. I am hoping this doctor will look at the reports - which i made sure went to her - and say it is so slight -no problem - lets put you on the list - which of course is 3 months out. Is everything 3 months out with Kaiser - LOL.
So I wil be back after Tuesday's doctor appointment and document what she says.
Was put on the list - yeah!!!
Have been for my presurgical visit - all went well - need to lose about 2 pounds before seeing surgeon.
Seem to hold my weight for two weeks and then lose 5-10 pounds only to let my body settle itself back again. Years ago I would have been horrified at needing to lose 56 pounds - now I cannot believe I only need to lose 56 pounds.
August 25
Met the cut and gas men: Surgeon was a bit withdrawn - then he questioned me regardng recent - last year - of ups and downs on my weight. Explained issues to him. He asked other questions and then looked at me and said, "We generally want our patients to lose more weight before surgery."
I just returned his look and we were sitting there for about a minute in silence. THen he said, "But you are already scheduled so we will go ahead." I was never given an amount to lose and I was approved in June for having lost enough so not sure where he was coming from but I sure breathed a sigh of relief.
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