Jennifer W.
I am 23 years old and I am 100 lbs over weight. I have a four year old boy who loves me no matter how big I am but that just isn't gonna cut it anymore. My boyfriend and I have lived together for five years. He is also the father of my child which makes me very proud. He is a great boyfriend and a great dad. To tell you the truth, everyone in my life is great. Ive only recently realised that it was ME that I was unhappy with. My friend is going in for the GB tomorrow morning. I have opted for the LB because of my age and the fact that I want to loose the weight a little bit slower so as to reduce the chances of having excess skin. So, right now I have only begun my journey. I am currently completing all of my work up tests for the surgery. I have three more left before I can go back to see Dr. Phol and schedule my surgery. My tests will be completed on Oct. 29th. I have been reading all the posts and looking at everyones profiles and it is so great. It gives me hope and a reason to live. A reason not to give up. I can not stand to look at myself in the mirror at all. I see a person that I do not even know. I want myself back. I haven't seen her since high school. 120 lbs....AND I THOUGHT I WAS FAT THEN!!!!!!!!!! What was I thinking!
10/16/04 (226)
Hello. I have my EGD appt Monday. I have just started a new job and I love it! My follow up visit with doctor Phol is scheduled for Nov 6th so I am hopeing to have surgery by Christmas. I am still struggling with smoking. Every pack is "my last pack". I have to get some help. I have gained 8 lbs since the seminar. I feel like crap. Im so fat im gonna explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait till this nightmare is over. Well, my eyes are starting to hurt and the redsox are loosing so I have to go. Till next time.
11/26/2004
My surgery is scheduled for dec 1st. Thank god because after jan bcbs will not cover the surgery. I am very excited and nervous. I just want this to be over. I will write back after my surgery. Wish me luck!
12/7/2004
I am so glad it is over. My stitches are healing up well. My stomach is loosening up a bit. But my energy level is very low today and I have been lightheaded a lot the past few days.
Its hard to take in all that medicine and almost impossable to dring a whole shake in one day never mind 3. Im trieing though. Well, very dizzy. Gonna go lay down a bit.
12/11/04 (215) 11 down
I am down 11 lbs and feeling good. I am starting to eat more and it is scary. But I am very hard on myself so hopefully that will pass. I am ready to start working out and I am hoping that I loose some more weight soon. The fear of Failing kicked in last night and I was very depressed. I think I will make my appointment for therepy next week. I need to keep focused to make this work and I can't be crieing all the time cause I haven't lost another lb.
01/05/05 (213) 13 down
I am down 13 lbs as of yesterday. Slow going but going. Life is tough right now. My boyfriend has moved out and is "thinking about coming home". I miss him and I hope we can work this out. We have a therepy session scheduled for saturday I hope everything goes well. I have not noticed any changes in my body yet but I have a long way to go. I guess I should just be happy that I am losing now instead of gaining. I am signing up for Curves Monday so that should kick it into gear. Still smoking....I can't even think about quitting right now with all that is going on. My doctor upd my dosage for my paxil which is helping me to stay calm through all of this and it is supressing whatever I have left of an appetite. My first fill is the 13th. I can't wait to see if the weight falls off in the following weeks after that. Time will tell.
1/06/05 (209) 17 lbs down
This is un believable. It is just falling off. It must have something to do with my lack of food intake the past 2 days. I haven't even wanted to eat do to my new stresses and my new med dosage. Wow, I guess it pays off. Well, I will weigh myself again tomorrow.
1/08/05 (207) 19 lbs down
What a great start to a day. Waking up and seeing that I have lost 2 more lbs. I think I will treat myself and go get my hair done today. Life is good today!!!!
01/08/05
I am starting to get scared. That he is never coming home. And I will wake up one night from a nightmare and need him and he won't be there. When I really need him he won't be there. And through this journey he won't be here to help me with my fears. I am starting to realise why I stayed for so long. Why I love him and what I will really miss.
1/09/2005 (204) 22 lbs down
Well 3 more lbs down. That is great! But it is official he is not coming home. Now I have to start over. It has been 5 long years. Ups and downs. But now it is over. I guess I will take it one day at a time.
7/7/05 (207) 3 gained from 1/9/05 (25 down)
Now that I look back at this I see that it was when he left that everything turned to crap. I started drinking and eating junk and partying and I stopped posting. I stopped caring. Well, we are back together and we have moved to a new home. My father died shortly after the last post, that was hard too. I am going to start loosing again...mark my word. I have had 1 fill and it is time for another one. Ill write back when I loose 3 more lbs.
8/23/05 (198) 11 more down since my last fill. (31 down total)
Dr. Phol gave me another fill yesterday. I haven't eaten really anything since....last night I ate 1/2 a cup of tuna cassarole and it took me over an hour to eat it. Didn't eat till I got home tonight....2 tablespoons of egg salad...two tablespoons of rice pilaf and a few sliced canned mushy carrots...like 4 or 5 slices. After that I was very full but was stupid enough to attempt to eat a bite of the chicken my mother in law cooked and that was it...it all came up. this fill is giving me great restriction....I think I will start to loose fast now. I am psyched...I have a trip to Orlando to preform infront of some major record company executives in may of next year and I want to be HOTTTTT!!!! in time so I am going to start working out tomorrow. Dr. Phol says that I am 30 lbs down from the day of my surgery. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!! I am under 200 That is great!!!
9/07/05 191 (7 more down since last fill) (38 down)
BMI 34.9 Just regular old OBESE
Okay now I am going back and forth from 189 to 191 probebly because I am pmsing. I also noticed how much water I retain when I eat salt. It is unbelievable! I really cannot eat anything yummy at all. my band is so tight that I can only take a few bites of very very soft food before the pain kicks in and then I know I am either going to throw up or sit with the pain for 20 minutes until the food passes through. I cannot eat any red meat..forget it and chicken is close to impossable as well. So it has been yogurt and soft soft noodles or veggies and an occasional tablespoon of mashed potatoes. Sometimes I try to eat the garlic bread that I make for everyone but.....no luck....I have thrown up like 8 times since this fill and I hate throwing up. I have to be very careful what I swallow. Well, I am going to upload a picture so I will write when I loose some more.
10/17/05 189 lbs (2 down )
Okay...so I went in for my check up on Sept 20th and Dr. Phol told me no fill. Plenty of restriction and if I feel like I can eat eat eat from now until my next appt on Oct.20th then come in and he will fill me. Well...Over the weekend I was experiancing a lot of PB ing and excruciating heartburn. I went in this morning and he unfilled me completely. He says he wants me on liquids for a week and set me up for an x-ray to make sure that my band did not slip. He says it is very uncommon for someone with only 1.5 ccs to slip but wants to make sure anyway. I hope everything comes back okay. I have only lost 2 lbs so hopefully this liquid diet will help me and when I go back to see him in a week I can fill back up.
1/5/06 180 lbs down (9 more lost) 48 lost total
Well it has been over a year and I am officially half way to my goal weight!!!! My ex-ray turned out fine and turns out in the two months that I was unfilled I lost 9 lbs!!!! Just got a fill for 1cc and great restriction...it is amazing how little it takes me. I have moved into my new appartment...my bf and I broke up again but I am dealing okay I suppose. Love my job...friends suck but that is life. I need to make some real friends....friends who aren't loosers....most of mine just bring me down. Anyway...being alone is hard...can't use food to keep me company so I take long baths and listen to relaxing music. Someday I will find Mr right but for now I am just happy being alone for once. Enjoying it while I can.
6/28/06 160 lbs (20 more lost) 68 total
Wow, just reading all my entries...my life changes as much as I change my underwear! Chris and I are back together and we are happy, even living together. Weird. Anyway...I really do not feel much lighter but I did buy a bathing suit...still need to wear a wrap with it but that is okay...I think. Dr. Phol's new assistant wants me to follow up with a nutritionist and a shrink. No thanks. As long as I am still loosing that is all that matters to me right now. Other than the obnoxious excess skin that I found on my breasts the other day I am good. Going to the gym 3 times a week. Tanning, i feel good. I will write back after my next check up.
9/18/06 No clue but hopefully alot less...I have an appt with DR Phol next thursday! i can't wait to get a fill, I have no restriction! But the best part about that is no matter what I don't gain it back. No matter how much I eat...It is so weird. Anyway, had my period this week so I felt 20 lbs heavier but my brothers gf sent me this pic from 4th of July which made me feel much better! Check it out! :)
