My Journey: The Beginning

Oct 29, 2010

  I have struggled with my weight most of my life and I recently decided that I was going to have weight loss surgery.  I have just reached the point where I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. Half the time I feel like I'm in someone elses body and it's just weird. I have been married for 12 years to a (sometimes) great guy, and we have two children together; ages 9 and 11. I am done having children and I would like to have my body back. I have been on several diets in the last several years, and sometimes I even lose some weight....however, as soon as I stop dieting, I gain it all back and then some. I am currently about 120lbs overweight, which technically makes me MORBIDLY OBESE (yeck, that just sounds gross). I am 5'3" and I weight 248lbs, at least this morning I did. I have Tricare Prime for medical insurance and I asked my PCM (Primary Care Manager) to put in a referral for a weight loss surgery evaluation. The first appointment that I went to was to see a provider about having a lap-band procedure done...boy, that doctor was a jerk! He is definately in the WRONG FIELD! After some research, I decided on UF & Shands Bariatric Center and I called to enroll in one of their information seminars. I ABSOLUTELY made my husband go with me! I need him to be informed on this too if he is going to be my support system. Unlike most of the country, I don't have the luxury of living near my family, so my husband is my support and vice versa.  We have each other.  Anyway, I researched the different types of surgeries prior to our visit and had pretty much decided on the Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass. While at the seminar, amidst my husbands..."boy I'm glad I don't have any candy in my pockets" jokes (good spirited and trying to make me laugh, of course). So, I did that at the end of SEPT and I am scheduled for my first one-on-one visit with my surgeon on 01DEC2010. My master plan is to have the surgery on the 8th of March. Working with my vacation time and schedule at work...this would be best. However, I could just take con-leave....but I'llonly get about a third of my regular paycheck. Just lately, my husband and I had a BIG fight about the surgery. He basically wants me to guarantee that this surgery will not hurt me or make me sick. I told him that there are no guarantees in life, but that is not what he wants to hear. He is concerned about all the lifestyle changes that I will have to make, and if I will be able to adhere to them. I am pretty sure his is worried about how much attention I'll get from the opposite sex once I drop my weight. If other guy ask me out now.......WTH is going to happen when I am not MORBIDLY OBESE ? He is a VERY jealous type of guy. Oh, well, is what I have to say! I stay because I love him and I WANT to stay...he can't MAKE me stay. I can't MAKE him stay either...but hopefully he sticks around. I haven't told many people about this yet, I think if I tell people it will be like admitting defeat. Admitting that I was too weak to do it on my own. Whatever, how does the saying go...Life is about the JOURNEY, not the destination.


More to come...
CW-248, GW-130

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