14 months post RNY - Everyday a new day in a new life....

Apr 20, 2010

I have lost 205 pounds.  I say it outloud just so I can hear it.  It is so surreal.  I thank God he provided me with the oportunity to take this journey.  This is not a journey that is easy, that is straight forward, that is to be taken lightly.  This journey is traveled more in the mind than in any other vessel.  The body undergoes such drastic and dramatic changes.  I have had all kinds of weird things change.  Doctors have told me a lot of it is due to the rapid weight loss and my body trying to catch up.  The funny thing is as swift as my mind has been accredited with being, it is really slow.  I have a rough time catching up in my mind.  I walk up to a mirror and almost forget who is looking back at me.  I am suffering with self esteem issues that I did not have in my bigger body,  as strange as that may seem.  I think the weight (extreme as it was) was a blanket or covering of sorts.  It was a protection, people did not bother me, in fact sometimes people ignored me probably to avoid staring or saying something rude....but it worked for me, or maybe I became used to that.  Now I am floored with the weird comments.  I am floored with the positive comments.  I am even more floored with the blatent sexual advances and overt come-ons.  I have had people I previously considered friends (males) to say the most unbelievably sexually charged comments... do they think that is complimentary???? Wow anyway.  I am dealing with many mental issues while enjoying improved physical health.  I say once again Thank God!

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