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My weight this morning was 213!!! I have lost 6 lbs this week. I never expected this sucess. I feel like I'm just ready to let the weight go...For the last 10 months since I stopped nursing my babies I have been totally ignoring my health. I paid close attention to my health while TTC, pregancy and nursing. When I didn't need to do that anymore, it was a disaster for me. Not only had I been eating a lot more for nursing and was used to it, but I added in unhealthy foods I had been denying myself. I had got in the habit of having a glass of wine, sometimes two every evening after all the kids were in bed. Empty calories!!! I ate more sweets and more carby slider foods that  give little to my body for nutrition but pack in the calories! Old school stove top popped popcorn with lots of real butter & salt, Cheesit crackers, peanut butter crackers...I could go on. No wonder I gained! Full disclosure: at my highest I was almost as much as I was full term pregnant with twins.

Obesity, you won't get me again! I won't listen to your lies. I won't dispair about the 40 lbs I gained while sticking my head in the sand. I'm going to keep following my reasonable healthy lifestyle and doing this will kick your butt. It may take a long time, but I'm gonna do it.

I met most of my goals this week. I had one bad day and I'll have to watch that. I'm really proud of myself that I got right back at it the next day. I need to plan ahead for super busy and stressful days so I don't fall on my face again. It's not so much about what I ate and the walk I didn't take...it's the feeling I got while doing it. An out of control feeling!

Goals for this week: Excercise 30 minutes 5x
                                     Water Minimum of 64 oz
                                      Food: Three nutricious meals
                                                  If I need a snack, snack mindfully w/concentration on protein

Other goals: Be present in everything that I do, work hard, love on my husband and babies, don't listen to obesity 

I used to post once a week during my weight loss journey. I just went through all my posts and relived everything I went through. Now that I have regain, I want to journal about this as well. It is really helpful for my accountability. My weight this morning was 219. My lowest weight was around 160. I don't want to get down that far because my face looked skeletal. I just want to get down to a reasonable healthy weight. I feel best from 170-175. Today I commit to a maintenance lifestyle. I feel if I go too crazy it will be very difficult for me to stick to. Here are my goals:

1. Walk 30 minutes 5xweek
2. Drink 64 oz of water/crystal lite
3. No snacking, especially drinks with calories
4. Eat enough protein and avoid slider foods.

I commit to this lifestyle from today until the end of the year. I may decide to go all out then, but right now I need to get back on track. I never, ever want to diet again!!!!! I believe with these changes I should be able to slowly take off the weight. I hope for a one pound per week loss.

Weight today 219 Before weight 283 Goal weight 170 49 lbs to go

I can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here! Soooo many things have happened. The last time I posted it appeared that I had an ulcer. It turned out to be a twisted small bowel. I had a couple of very dangerous gastric bleeds and the doctors tried and tried to find out what it was. Finally, the pain and sickness were too much & I landed in the ER again in February 2009. They found my small bowel was caught in an internal hernia. I was rushed down to the hospital 1 1/2 hours away in an ambulance and had emergency surgery. I have been 100% better since! The blood I lost caused me to become severely anemic I had to undergo six iron infusion treatments to get my anemia under control.

The little cousin I had living with us ultimatly went home. We then pursued foster adoption. We had a couple of disappointments and ended up having IVF which resulted in twins. The month I got pregnant with the twins, My little cousin's niece and nephew came to live with us. They are now our adopted children. So now I have five sons 25, 22, 20, 4, and 18 months and two daughters 3 and 18 months. 

I had to "eat around" my RNY gastric bypass in order to sustain my twin pregnancy and nursing. I stopped nursing in October of 2011 and have not gone back to my previous lifestyle. The result is weight gain. I am now 217 lbs! The day I had my IVF transfer I was 177 lbs...three weeks after having the twins I was 182. This weight is NOT baby weight. It's weight gain from snacking, not excercising, not enough water, and drinking my calories. 

From this day forward I take back my life. I will not go back....four precious children are counting on me!   

I havn't posted in awhile. It is amazing how fast time goes by. My ulcer didn't feel 100% until the middle of August! And my hair, which was finally coming back in nicely is falling out again from the shock. Please, anyone reading this...don't drink too much caffeine or take aspirin. It is not worth it! Even drinking water hurt when I had my ulcer. So, I got out of the habit of drinking 64 oz. So guess what? I ended up with a UTI and my doctor said I had a huge amount of crystals in my urine (tiny kidney stones). He said to knock off the chocolate and up my water intake or I could get big kidney stones. This I do NOT want. I've watched my neice over the last few years suffer with kidney stones. 

So I guess the moral of the story is...make sure to follow the rules. They are there for a reason. You will feel so much better if you toe the line. 

Weight wise, I'm doing good. If I go up a couple of pounds, I go back to protein, fruit and veggies for awhile & it comes right back off. I'm at 170 today and am trying to get back to 165 over the next week or two. My size 8 pants are a tiny bit snug and I don't like that...so I'm dealing with it now. The difference is I deal with things right away instead of sticking my head in the sand until it gets away from me.   

I have an ulcer. The CT scan came back negative for an internal hernia or obstructed bowel, and I'm feeling better. I get cocky sometimes though and I eat things I shouldn't and I hurt, bad. I have to avoid fat and fiberous foods. I am supposed to eat 1/2 protein and 1/2 complex carbs. I'm supposed to keep away from some of my favorite foods like Triscuit crackers (too rough)and steak (too fatty) and I'm having a hard time doing it. I was in pain all day yesterday because of stupid eating. I ate two eggs fried in butter with buttered toast, and a grilled cheese sandwich. DUH!!! No wonder I hurt. Today so far I've had two protein shakes and yogurt with blueberries. I'm just really sick of soft proteins still so I'm having a tough time complying. I'm doing a lot better getting food in though, because I've only lost two more lbs, putting me at 160. I don't think I'll loose any more cause I'm doing better every week.

 

I have had terrible stomach pains since last Friday. I went into the ER on Saturday & they diagnosed me with the stomach flu & pumped me full of fluids. By Tuesday, I realized this is no flu. I called my surgeon & went down to Redding to see him. He thinks I have an ulcer! I have been drinking caffeine like crazy. I'm STUPID! I must say, I'm in a lot of pain. I had a CT scan in case it is an obstructed bowel or an internal hernia, but started on the Prevacid right away. I'm off the caffeine forever, now. I will never drink it again! I have lost a lot of weight the past week, weight I didn't necessarily want to loose. I'm a size 8 now, preety thin for a 5'10" woman. On the plus side, I was in between a 8 and 10 before, now I'm solidly in the 8 range which is a lot easier to order clothes. I just don't want to loose any more! 162 pounds is 8 pounds less than my goal weight. I don't want to loose any more than two pounds more at the most. They don't make 6 talls, as far as I can see. So I'm gonna be out of luck in the clothes dept if I get that small.

   

Wow. Almost a month has passed since I last posted. I'm doing well, eating wise. I had a little incident yesterday, though. I whipped up some icing for my 2-year old little cousin who has come to live with us to eat on graham crackers. Stupid Karen had to have some as well. I got very, very sick! I can't seem to get it through my head I can't eat pure sugar like that anymore. I mess up about once a month or so...not so bad. 

I can't believe that my life has changed so much since last year...not only my weight. My oldest son graduated Jr. college & moved 5 hours away. My  middle son graduated high school and moved out to go to the Jr. College 30 miles away. My youngest is 16 now and ready to get his drivers license. My husband had a terrible scare with his health and is now recovering with a new lease on life.  I'm taking care of a 2-year old again! She is so sweet but very, very busy! I wonder if I'd been able to take all the ups and downs life has been giving me before loosing weight. I know it would have been difficult to chase after a toddler at 283 pounds for sure! I feel like a different woman...it is just bizzare! I hope and pray I can be one of the ones who can stick to the program and keep the weight off. My worst nightmare is that I screw up and gain back the weight. I don't know what I'd do! I've got used to the new me and my new energy. I never, ever want to go back. My weight is holding steady at 167-170 lbs. but I've not had the ambition to get down to 165 like I said in my last post. Perhaps this month?

  

I went down to my 1 year checkup last week. I cannot believe it has been one year already! My protein and vitamin levels were good. I picked up a good book at the doctor's office about maintenance issues. I recognized one problem I have while reading it. It said to eat until you are full and feel a little "stretch" so you are satisfied longer. Some people eat little bits of food all day long and that is dangerous. I've been eating like it said for 8 days now & I have lost the two pounds I gained plus another two pounds. I'm now two pounds UNDER goal! I'm going to keep eating like this for another week or two to see if I can reach 165, instead of 168. If i do it, I do it, if not, that's ok too. I'm getting a little too complacent about caffeine. I'm going to try to cut it back out all together. I've been drinking more and more lately. I started out with just one cup of tea in the morning, but I've been adding in sugar-free lattes more and more. It hasn't been affecting my weight, but I had a huge problem with caffeine and sugary drinks in my old days. I NEVER want to go back. Friday I had my 1st migrane that couldn't be treated with medicine since my surgery. I'm convinced it has to do with caffeine. I'm switching back to herbal tea and an occasional green tea.

I'm finding I sometimes forget I've even had surgery. The other night we were home late & I didn't have anything defrosted for dinner. My son suggested that we have pancakes. I said sure, that sounds good. I had three pancakes with peanut butter and lots of syrup, like the old days. I washed it down with lots of cold milk. MISTAKE!!! I got soooo sick! Between the sugar and the volume increasing with the liquid I was miserable. Oh, well. It was a good wake-up call. I guess I needed it. 

I'll try to keep my profile posted now and again. But, like so many others, I'm not into posting every week any more. It is funny...I hardly think about loosing weight any more. I'm in a really good place & I like it! I guess this is what it feels like to have a normal attitude about food and weight.

Current weight 168 surgery day 273 Consult Day 283       

My husband returned home last Wednesday.  He is doing a little better each day, but he is really sore. His eating is improving. I'm giving him food like I ate early on like chicken salad, scrambled eggs, and soup. We have been joking around that he is eating less than me these days! I went back to work yesterday so things are starting to feel normal again. I have two extra pounds that I'm trying to get rid of. It is difficult to maintain. I am either loosing or gaining. I just need to stay on top of what my weight is. I can see myself not paying attention & loosing or gaining too much weight. 

My son has set the date! He is getting married on August the 30th. I am so excited. It is nice to be able to focus on something positive for a change. It will give me some extra incentive to keep my weight down as well. I hope I continue to abstain from self-medicating  with food. I can eat a lot more volume now & I can see I could get in trouble quick.  I started walking at my lunch time again & I'll have to hit the gym. I want to look decent at the wedding! 

I had to come home today. My husband had the surgery six days ago and is still not able to eat or digest yet. This is going to be a long haul. I hope and pray he will be able to come home tomorrow or the next day. I had to come home because I'm needed at work tomorrow for billing. My eating plan kinda went out the window this past week. The cafeteria meals were good, but had more carbs and fat than I'm used to having. I was good about walking for a few minutes after breakfast & lunch & getting my water in. So...I'll see tomorrow what the damage is. I'm too scared to get on the scale tonight. We finally had some good news. The biopsy on the nodes came back negative, so his chances are very good that he will be cancer free after all this. But this horrific surgery was his best chance at a full recovery and we agreed with the doctor not to fool around. There have been cases with this cancer of spread to the lymph nodes 10 years after the tumor has been removed. We didn't want to live waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

My son asked his long-time girl to marry him! We have a wedding to look forward to & he couldn't have picked a better wife and future mother. We are really proud & excited. They have not picked a date yet, but I'm hoping next summer. I just hope they wait off until after they finish college to have babies. We had babies young & it was tough. So anyways, my head is reeling. So many changes to our life. I wonder if I could have handled all of this before I got healthy?