Keller

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We got more bad news. My husband's cancer biopsy came back that it is a rare kind of cancer that dosn't respond well to chemo or radiation. So...they are going to take his lymph nodes in his abdomen just to be safe. So that means another surgery, more time off of work. He is a work-aholic so he is going crazy. He will be off work for at least three months. His incision is going to be really, really big so he will be in a lot of pain. I am so worried about him!

Weight wise, I'm doing ok. I'm not exercising right now and that is a problem. I'm struggling to remember to take my vitamins and drink my water. But, I weigh anywhere from 169 to 172 every morning, so I'm doing well on my eating portion of my maintenance plan. I am planning to go back to walking at lunch. Right now, I'm driving home for lunch so I can spend time with my husband. But, I need to take care of myself, too. I don't want to get out of the habit. Maybe it would be easier to drop by the gym to walk on the treadmill on the way home from work? I dont know, but I need to figure it out quick! 

I'm at goal now! I weigh 169.6 lbs. My goal is 170 lbs. I think I may overshoot my goal a bit, but my goal was conservative, so I won't stress too much about it. Since I'm so tall, my healthy range of weights is huge. I can weigh anywhere from 135 to 173 lbs and still be a healthy BMI. It feels like I'm constantly eating with the two snacks. I make sure to limit these snacks to protein, usually shakes, that are 100 calories. The nutritionist suggested this because it will be easy to take them away if I start gaining. Maintenance is going to be a new unfamiliar challenge for me. I'm glad I've not been focusing on weight lately with my husband's health problems. It shows me that I can just follow my plan & I won't gain. I just need to keep up what I'm doing. I feel kinda weird, it is almost anti-climatic about reaching goal. I thought I'd be a lot more excited about it.

My husband had his surgery on Wednesday. It looks good, they didn't have to take the lymph nodes & it appears that the tumor was localized. The poor dear is in a lot of pain, though & I wish it didn't have to happen to him. We find out on the 31st if it indeed was cancer and what course of action we need to take. Probably, he will need radiation only. I hope he won't need chemo, but whatever the doctor suggests we will do. 

I am now in size Medium tops and size 8 pants. I never, ever thought I would get this small! I am 37-30-37, so I still have a thick waist. I was built like a boy when I was a teen and it looks like I'll be built like one now. Oh, well, it just means I have to get a size 10/12 in dresses that have a fitted waist. I got a little black dress for New Year's Eve. I was sooo excited! I bought a couple of cute padded push up bras from Victoria's Secret that are making me feel a lot better about the "girls". It is amazing what a good bra will do for ya!   

I am now 171.4 lbs. I'm normal, baby! I have 1.4 lbs to get to goal, but that is kinda in the back of my mind right now. The past few weeks have been a struggle. I can't believe I've actually lost a couple of pounds! Usually, I'd have been self medicating with food. I have been trying not to do that, and it's working. 

My husband has been diagnosed with a testicular tumor. I am reeling. He is my best friend in the world & I don't know what I would do without him! He is having surgery on Wednesday, so my weight loss journey is on "hold" right now while we deal with this.  I hope and pray that he will be ok. My mother-in-law is also sick. She had a bleeding episode a few weeks ago & I thought we might loose her. She needed 6 units of blood. I am not overeating with the stress and worry, but I'm also not exercising like I was. 

I saw the nutritionist back in December. She has prescribed two protein snacks a day...one at 10 AM and one at 3 PM. Food is starting to feel a bit like "work" now. I don't feel like eating every few hours, but I'm becoming disciplined and just do it. It is like taking medicine or vitamins to me. Don't get me wrong...I still like food, but I'm never hungry now & just don't feel like eating. Thank goodness she put me on this regimine, or I may have completely overshot my goal. The last time I posted was the 3rd of December & I was 174. It has been about 7 weeks since then & I'm now 171.4, a loss of 2.6 lbs. I have not been trying to loose or even paying attention to my weight due to all the turmoil.  The maintenance plan is working! Eventually, if I keep to the plan I'll stop loosing all together when My body's ready. 

I need to put up a new pic! The old one is from 6 months out!

Current Weight 171.4 Surgery Day 273 -101.6 1.4 lbs to go!   

I'm 174 now. I only have four pounds to go! I thought I would be at a normal BMI at 174, but I'm at 25.0 and normal is 24.9. So close....so close! I'm going down to Redding for a nutritionist appointment. I need to get information on maintenance. Really, I've been kinda on "maintenance" for awhile now, I'm eating carbs and having an afternoon protein snack. But, I'm sure they will have some good info for me. I'm looking forward to the information.

I can't believe maintenance is starting. I've always been either gaining or loosing. I'm scared of maintenance if the truth be known. I think a pep talk from the nutritionist is just what I need.

174 was the weight I was the day I married. My husband told me Saturday that I'm slimmer now than I was then. I love that man! 

Current weight 174 Surgery day 273 -99lbs 4 more to go!     

I'm holding steady at 176. I'm really pumped that I havn't gained any weight over the Thanksgiving holiday. I think it is a first! I'm sure I'll have a loss this coming week because I'm getting right back at it. I wanted to get right back at it on Friday, but I ate too many carbs on Friday and Saturday and didn't exercise. I went right back to my routine on Sunday, though and I'm really proud of myself. Holidays and vacations in the past have derailed diets. I'm not letting myself fall into that trap! I think it helps that I'm not thinking of myself as being on a diet. I'm developing a healthy lifestyle. I do not need to go out of town until December 11th, so it will be a little easier to stick to my routine the next couple of weeks. I hope to loose at least two pounds by the 11th.

Current Weight 176 Surgery Day 273 -97 lbs 6 more to go! 

I didn't loose any weight this week. I have had a couple of bad days. I got really, really constipated on Wednesday & didn't exercise Wednesday or Thursday because of it. I hate that! Then, over the weekend we visited my son in Sacramento & went out to eat every meal. Usually, I'm pretty smart about going out to eat, but I broke down & ate pumpkin pie one day and also a couple of full-sugar mochas through the weekend. Not good choices!

I only have this week and next left for personal training, then I'm on my own. I want to keep up my weights because it is making a huge difference in my body. My "bat wings" have greatly improved & my stomach is flatter than I ever imagined. Also-we're working on building up my butt muscles. I have absolutely no butt left so I'm doing lots of squats to build up my muscles so I look better. I hope I have the discipline to keep up my routine! I may decide to attend classes instead so I'm pushed by someone.

This coming week is Thanksgiving. My goal is to eat smart & to keep exercising. My goal is to loose my last six pounds between now & New Year's. I believe I can do it if I only have the holiday treats on the actual holidays, not every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas like I usually do. I also need to keep up my exercise routine. I can't let myself get too busy for exercise. I can see a holiday meltdown lead to a full on falling off the wagon. I want to keep up my lifestyle forever!

Current Weight 176 Surgery Day 273 -97 lbs 6 more lbs to go.

I lost two pounds this week! I'm now 176, only two more pounds & I'm going to be a "normal" BMI & the weight I was on my wedding day. I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! This morning I tried on my wedding dress from 21 years ago and it fit! Well, it zipped up anyways. My trainer has been pushing me hard this week. One day, we did over 400 crunches. I can't believe what I can do now. On Thursday, I ran at 5.5 on the treadmill for 15 minutes and at 6.0 for the final five minutes. I have only been able to jog for a few weeks. I'm becoming stronger every week. 

Last night, I was at a get together & I realized my new lifestyle is becoming normal for me. I wasn't tempted to drink liquids immediatly before or after eating, I didn't graze, and I put a reasonable portion of food on my plate concentrating on the protein foods. I don't worry that much about fat, obviously because I had cheese and spinach dip on my plate. But, I stayed away from the chips, white bread, etc and concentrated on meats, cheeses and veggies/dip. I feel really good about it. It has taken me a long time for it to become natural for me to make smarter choices.

Thanksgiving is coming up. This will be my 1st big holiday since surgery. I wonder how I'm going to handle all the temptation during the holidays? I am hoping this will be the first holiday season I'll end up lighter instead of heavier in January. My goal is to loose my final six pounds by New Years Day. To do this I'll need to keep up with my exercise during all the hustle and bustle and to be careful about grazing and "treats". I am determined to do it! From the beginning, I zeroed in on the New Year's day goal. For awhile, it looked like I was going to make it much sooner. But then, my weight loss slowed so I'm focusing on that New Year's date again. I WANT THIS BAD....REAL BAD. I will do whatever it takes!

Current weight 176 Surgery Day 273 -97 lbs 6 more to go!       

I'm 178 now. I lost 1 pound this week. It is a miracle, because I have not been able to work out as hard this week. I've done good at planning my meals with the hustle and bustle this week & I only had two fun size chocolates for Halloween. So I felt good about the week considering how busy we were. I managed to get in my lunch walks, 3 1 1/2 hour gym workouts and a long walk today. I'll try to get back on my regular schedule this coming week. Two days I didn't get in all my water. I'll have to make sure to correct that this week.  

My husband & I went overnight to Redding for a date night. I wore my $4.50 dress I got on a clearance rack and high heels. I felt like I looked preety good! We went to a comedy show & I realized....I wasn't the fat chick at the event.  I always used to be self concious about my size at events like this. Really, I was about middle of the road in size. I am slowly realizing I'm at a normal weight. I am at a 25.5 BMI. I only have to loose 4 more pounds to be at a normal BMI of 24.9. Coincidentally, 174 is the weight I was on my wedding day. It will be a doubly emotional day when I cross that threshold! I can't wait to be a healthy BMI!!!!        

On a down note; I need to whine about my boobs. They are getting smaller and smaller and they are soooo saggy! I've got a lot of extra skin there now & they look terrible. I hope things get better like my stomach did after awhile. If not, a boob job is definatly in my future!

Current weight 178 Surgery Day 273 -95 lbs 8 more to go!

I'm at 179 this week, a loss of one lb. Only 9 more pounds to go! I look like I have no more weight to loose now. My face, shoulders, and lower arms have no body fat left. Neither does my back, butt or hips. I still have quite a lot on my upper thighs, stomach, and upper arms, but they are covered by clothes. My face is starting to look a bit sunkin in, so I'm starting to wear makeup. I usually only wear it out on "dates" with my husband. But, it helps camoflage my cheeks. It looks as if there's a bruise under each cheek, but it is actually just a shadow from my cheekbone. Besides, the makeup gives me a "lift". I'm enjoying looking my best now. I almost feel like I'm a poster girl for RNY in my town. A friend from high school is looking into the surgery now. I need more than ever to keep up with my program. I don't want to discourage anyone looking into the surgery. This is the best thing that's happened to me in years & I feel like I need to give back now.   

I traveled to Sacramento this weekend. I made sure to workout at the hotel. I ran for 20 minutes on the treadmill & walked at a 5% incline for 10 minutes. I'm glad I did, because this weekend I realized I eat more when I'm eating at restaurants with people. We were enjoying our time with our friend and our son who we were visiting, so we languised over our dinner while talking. Before I knew it, I picked at my chicken salad so much I realized that I ate an entire chicken breast & all of the "goodies" on the salad. Usually, I can only eat 1/2 of a chicken breast in one sitting. I now know why my program puts a 20 minute time limit on eating. I was there for about an hour & ate literally twice the volume I'd normally eat. I gotta watch that!!! 

I went to the Gap at the Arden mall while I was there & tried on pants. Size 8 pants zipped up, but were tight in the waist so I picked up a size 10 "Long and Lean" style that fit well. It is weird for me to pick "skinny" jeans. Usually I am drawn to relax and loose fit styles. But they don't look right on my body anymore. I'm going to get some more clothes at the 1st of November. I think I'll get some khakis and cords in a classic fit style. I think this may be my "end size", so I can let loose a little bit.  I'm going to have to try on the pants at the store because I'm not used to my body yet. I can't wait till I have it dialed in because I'm probably the only female on earth that dosn't enjoy shopping at the mall. I like shopping in my pajamas on the internet.  

Current weight 179 Surgery Day 273 -94 9 more to go!

I didn't loose any this week, didn't gain any either. I guess this is how it will be from here on out. I only have 10 more pounds to go. My clothes are fitting better now. My waist is firming up, and I can see my muscles in my arms. I love it! I had to buy new bras this week. I'm now a 36 B. I started out as a full 42 C. It is difficult to loose there, I've liked having curves. When I was a teen, I looked like a 12 year old boy. Between that, and having absolutely no butt, I'm getting a little depressed. But, I'm trying to concentrate on how strong and fit I feel. I need to get some more work-out clothes. I was thinking to myself...these are getting baggy! Then I realized the last time I bought them was 40 pounds ago. 

I can run for 20 minutes straight now! I can't believe it! I run for 20 minutes on the treadmill at 5.0 & then walk at an incline for 10 more minutes & then do weights for another 30 minutes. I cannot belive how strong I'm getting. It is a miracle! I can run for almost two miles now. My next big goal is to enter a 5K race this spring. The way I'm going it will be a piece of cake!   

Current Weight 180 Surgery Day 273 -93 10 more to go.