Almost 5 Years Post-Op and I Need Help
Sep 17, 2012
I had my RNY in December 2007. My highest weight was 328, and on the day of surgery it was 319. I lost the weight fast and adjusted to the new diet and lifestyle easily (aside from the exercise, I didn't work out once). By January 2010 my weight reached its lowest at 162 --- a grand total loss of 166 pounds. But being a new mom, having my husband and I both out of work and living with my parents brought about a whole new world of stress and depression for me. I was able to maintain my weight for most of 2010 at around 180, but that didn't last the following year after my husband decided to join the Navy.
The experiences of his boot camp, A-School, and first deployment proved to be just too much for me emotionally. I found myself alone in a 1 bedroom apartment with no car, no TV, no friends, no family and nothing to do for months. The stress, anxiety, and depression proved to be more than I could handle and I ended up being hospitalized twice in less than a year's time at a psychiatric hospital. My only comfort was food - and I ate.
As of this past Sunday I weighed 259 -- up almost 100 pounds from my lowest -- and I am miserable. Things have settled down for me emotionally, but the scars have remained from the past 2 years. I have completely isolated myself... aside from the socialization I receive from my husband and my daughter, I don't get out of the house -- at all -- and I have no friends within 2000 miles. Physically, aside from housework, I do nothing. I sit on the couch all day watching TV, always too tired and exhausted to do anything... including playing with my daughter. I'm back to hurting, having aches and pains, should I do too much of anything, having difficulty breathing when climbing the steps to our apartment, my heart pounding by the time I walk out to the mailbox and back.
Diet wise, I can eat anything now that I did pre-surgery... except in smaller quantities. My biggest problem is that it feels like the food passes through my stomach quickly, and within 30 minutes after a meal I feel like I am starving again. I'm never full, never satisfied... so I am always grazing, looking to make that hunger go away.
I'm at a loss as what to do. What should I be eating? How often? And how much? When it comes to exercise what should I do? What should be my goals?.....and all in all... how can I be happy again?
I'm stuck --- and confused.
Someone please help.