Oh what a ride!

Feb 12, 2009

Wow! I didn't think it had been that long ago since I had last written here. Like to post at least once a month whether it has to do with WLS or not....Let's see what has been happening...it is raining men!! can I open up my mouth and talk to them...NO!!! I am conciously making an effort though, put myself out there more and more every day.  Being obese as many of you know, no one wants to acknowledge you let along talk to you, and that is how it has been my entire adult life even when I was a teenager. So it is hard to be getting all this attention from men when I am so used to just crawling up into a ball and hiding in the corner or being completely invisible to them even if I was the biggest person in the room. I had posted a while back about a fireman that I am interested in and I still am but as time goes on the more and more I am thinking that he is married. Today I found out that he has a kid, which to me is more of a con than it is a pro. I don't even know if I want kids let alone having to be with someone elses...just not a situation I think I want to be in and who knows maybe he is married. Then I thought to myself...I still need to become friends with him so he can introduce me to his hot SINGLE co-workers!!! My co-workers think I am crazy with all of these men....well it is something that I never had before and it feels SOOOOOOOO good to be checked out. I was telling my mom the other day that i felt like a teenager! You know when you are a teenager you are cruising around town looking for hot guys and what not well that is what I feel like cept the kind of man I am looking for certainly isn't going to be cruising around looking for chicks!!
I joined weight watchers a couple weeks ago to help get the last 20 pounds off and to maintain my weight. As more time goes on I am realizing just how bad my addiction to food and and what a bad relationship it is that I have with food...the question how do I fix it??? I was thinking about maybe reading the dr phil book and doing the exercises for his weight solution to help me get inside of my head to get those things straightened out. I have went to a counselor Mary Ellen but its almost like she doesn't seem to think that I have a problem and when I call her to go see her we only talk about body image and the things that I bring up and when I do talk about the food it is like she glazes right over that....thinking maybe I should find someone else???
I have also set up an appointment for a consultation for a LBL and a breast augmentation so we will see what happens with that. Not sure when I will beable to get it done but well see what he has to say. Gotta run before I burn the burgers on the grill!  I can't wait for summer!!

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