KittyKarin
Doritos on the Beach
Mar 30, 2013
Leaving Destin today... I wish we had more time but we had such a blast. Even though it was cold and we couldn't do a lot in the ocean or pool, we still had fun and got at least one beach day in. I could do the beach all day, every day but Jason gets bored very fast. So it was probably a good thing that it was colder or I would have been mad at him instead of the weather for keeping me from the beach. :-) There was this big waterpark that wasn't open due to the cold and I was a bit sad about that. Not sure if I am ready for a waterpark yet but the thought was nice. I told J that we need to take a day trip to Orlando with his sons later this summer (much later so I have plenty of time to slim down) and go to a waterpark there. It's been years since I have been to one and I used to love them. I used to love rollar coasters too but haven't been on those in a while either.
Two summers ago, before the boys were with us full time, we got them from their mom and stayed with them in Charlotte, NC for a few days before we took them home. There is a theme park there like Six Flags called Carowinds. We went there and I had to just pretend I didn't like rollar coasters because I knew I wouldn't fit on the rides. I went on one water ride where you have like 6 or 8 people in a round boat and float down a river with waterfalls. That was the only one that I thought I would fit on. It sucked because the boys really wanted me to go with them on all the rides and I would have loved to... I was just getting to know them and wanted to make a good impression... but I didn't wanna be embarrassed when my big old butt couldn't fit in the seat. Maybe by the end of the summer, we can take a trip to a theme park and I can go on all the coasters.
I really enjoyed this vacation because I didn't feel bloated or tired or uncomfortable in my clothes. I brought a bunch of outfits and wore almost all of them. Nothing felt too tight or made me look too fat to wear. I was excited to put on my swimsuit and go to the beach. (Yes, I know, I am still very fat but refer to my previous blog... I have unrealistic views of how skinny I am at 300 pounds :) ). I was happy to put on my cute dresses and go out to dinner. I didn't feel tight in them and was much happier with the person who was looking back at me in the mirror. I exercised pretty much every day and continued to track all of my food each day. Now that we are about to leave, I don't regret anything. I am not sitting here thinking about a diet I need to start on Monday and that's a great feeling.
When I was at the beach yesterday, this very LOUD family came and sat near us. The mother (and loudest) of the family started talking to this group of skinny, tan college girls sitting next to us. She was joking and talking to them and mentioned that she had a body like theirs on back order. She then told them that she had VSG surgery 2 years ago and lost 260 pounds!! She was still quite a heavy woman, I would say about my size but shorter. After that, I started kind of noticing more about her. I was going to strike up a conversation with her about the surgery but I didnt. She was drinking beer, eating Doritos and bologna sandwiches and smoking like a chimney. I don't know if she has gained some of the weight back or she was just very big before her surgery but I was trying not to judge. When we left, I started talking to my husband about it and he told me I was being judgmental. I just know I don't want that to be me in two years. I have been in the situation where I have lost lots of weight then started gaining it back but I still wanted to talk about it because it was a big accomplishment... but I know I didn't look like the person who lost alot of weight or was healthy.
Every day is a struggle and I just have to keep that in front of me. I don't want to be guzzling beer and doritos on the beach next year, regardless of whether I am at goal or not. I'm not trying to be mean at all to her or judge her. I just want my journey to be different. I want the rest of my life to be healthy... of course, that's quite freaking easy to say 3 months in. So I just have to keep my goals first and foremost in my mind and in my life. All I can do is take it day by day and see how far I can make it....