Loving my new attitude

Jan 29, 2014

I am feeling so great!  I am 217 pounds.  That feels so surreal.  I never thought I would ever be this small again.  I never thought I would be close to less than 200 pounds.  I seriously can't believe it some days. Today is a good day where I really feel how much smaller I am.  I guess I just woke up on the right side of the bed. 

For so many years, I have been struggling to lose weight and each time I do, it's nice but I keep feeling like I have SOOO much farther to go.  When I was 310 pounds, I did Weight Watchers and got down to the 270s.  That was great but I was still 275! I got bored and discouraged and started right back to my old eating habits and gained back that plus 50 pounds! Being 362 pounds, you really don't feel like you will ever make it to a normal weight again.  About a year before surgery, I gave up.  I still wanted to lose weight but I was convinced that those size 14s and 16s in my closet would never fit me again.  I gave away a lot of clothes and sent a lot to Goodwill.  Now I am wishing I had kept some of them.  I kept a few things that were sentimental to me but pretty much everything that I had in my closet is too big for me now. 

I am really enjoying dressing up and being able to wear my heels again.  That's the biggest thing to me; I finally feel comfortable in heels again. I can wear them and not feel like my feet are killing me after only walking a few steps.  I'm no Carrie Bradshaw running around in heels all day but I can at least wear them a few hours at night without having extreme pain.

I am also exercising and feeling good about my progress.  My goal is to strength train 2 days a week with cardio 5 days a week.  I went Sunday and Monday and did strength on Monday also.  Yesterday, I was too busy and today is SO COLD and rainy.  Maybe after work, I will run over to the gym with my hoodie on but we'll see. I really would like to but I don't want to get myself sick. I can wait until tomorrow if I need to.

Being under 210 is my short term goal right now.  I can't wait until I am just a few pounds away from the 100s.  When I get to 200, I will officially be overweight instead of obese.  My BMI will be 29.9.  That's gonna be such a great day. I can't wait.  Visualizing myself there and how happy I will be and how great I will feel, keeps me going.  This time next month, I hope I am at least 210 or close.  I don't want to put a time limit on myself but it would be nice.  I'm just happy right where I am.  I haven't been perfect with my weight loss, far from it! But I have kept an eye on my progress and haven't given up.  I am taking steps everyday to make this my lifestyle and it seems to be working.  I want my husband and stepsons to get healthier with me.  I want us all to be happy and healthy and learn how to live good lives. I'm loving how I feel today. I hope I can make it last...

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