Clarissa A.

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I am so excited!!! Finally at 200, that means 78 lbs lost. 2 lbs away from my High School weight, now all I have to do is tone it up

I had been experiencing blackouts since about 2 months out. This past weekend, it got out of hand. I was blacking out constantly. Monday morning, I actually passed out on my way to the restroom and sprained my thumb in the process. I am stubborn so I went to work and half way thru the day I ended up in the ER. After many many tests and ALOT of blood drawn, they diagnosed me with Orthostatic Hypotension and dehydration. I have always been a big water drinker but apparently my body is not retaining any fluid so I have to start adding salt to my diet. So now I wait to see my PCP and figure out what to do about the Ortho. Hypotension

I asked myself this question yesterday after a HUGE shouting match with my mother. so not what I wanted to do on my desperately needed day off.

And YES, I have changed!

I no longer allow people to walk all over me for "the sake of keeping the peace".
I have self-esteem and know I am worth being respected.
Just 6 months ago I would have sat and listened to all of my mothers criticism silently. Then I would have gone home and stuffed my face with a Big Mac, Large fries and a Milk shake! Once done with that, I would have cried for hours. Then my boyfriend and I would end up getting into a fight because I didn't stand up for myself.
NEVER AGAIN!!!!!!
I firmly asked her to stop and pointed out everything that she was saying and doing that made me uncomfortable.
Somehow it turned into a shouting match and I am proud to say I DID NOT BACK DOWN. She was in total shock and said "boy, have you changed" and I said "HELL YEAH!!!"

RNY has given back so much of me that I had lost and I am grateful everyday for it

I have been pushing myself to go for an hour walk everyday during my lunch break but boy is it hard.  
It is sooooo hot and humid - I felt like I was going to pass out towards the end. Thank God I pushed thru it and made it back into the office. I sat for like 30 minutes before the dizzies and lightheadedness went away.
But I am proud of myself for not making a million excuses and just doing it

So, I went to the restroom at work and took a picture of myself. A few minutes later, I got to my desk and when I looked at the picture - I didn't even recognize myself. 
My face is long and slim and I just cant believe that even with short hair My face is no longer round.  It is sooooo weird!

So for some odd reason I still see FAT Clarissa.
I have been working out and when I come back from my work-out, I look in the mirror and I look fatter than ever!!!!

I was afraid no TERRIFIED of weighing myself today. I have a feeling the scale is going to say an astronomical number and I am going to fall into a severe depression.

 I feel like I am going insane

So I just came back from changing and I realized - Hey, I dont lose my breathe when changing my shoes anymore. And guess what?!?!? My sneakers are tied in the middle and not on the side anymore!!!!!! I feel really good.
Ok, now I am going to take my daily walk -  wish me luck with this heat/humidity

I just walked past one of the women that works on the other side of the building and she said "hey, slim. How's it going?"
Now, I know I am not slim but I am getting there
So I posted a pic of myself today, NOT wearing all dark clothes for once.

I was just looking at my BMI
Pre Surgery 47.7
Today 35.5
NOT bad for 18 weeks

Soooo I got on the scale today and was fully expecting to see 212 which is where I have been stuck for weeks. So reluctantly I look down and see 207!!!!
My lowest weight in High School was 196, so I am 9 lbs away from my Teenage weight. I am so excited!!!
I mean 207 is still a big number but I am content today and only 27 lbs away from goal.
Nothing wrong with that!!!