Laura H.
Dehydration
Jul 27, 2009
more often, extreamly forgetful, cotton mouth, fatiugue and headaches more
often. I don't know if it's lack of protein, iron, water, or just age. I'm
afraid to ask my doctor for fear he'll be upset with me. It's been 13 months,
120 pounds. But I'm afrid it's not enough. Suggestions?
One year One day
Jun 26, 2009
The only side effect I'm struggling with is something an MSNBC article calls "Phantom Fat." I don't see much a change in my physical appearance. My mirror still shows my fat - okay not 265 pounds! But I don't feel I look that much different. I automatically head to the "Womans" department when shopping. I still feel the stares and judgments. Yes. This is all in my head. My shrink said that after being heavy for 20+ years my brain has not caught up with body. My family and friends thought I was nuts. The article validated my feelings. I was counseled to take a before and after picture (I've avoided cameras for a long time.) To write my measurements down side by side. This is something that may take another 6 months or year of "re-recording" in my brain.
I don't want to sound ungrateful. I would NOT go back. I would do NOT regret one stitch, one ounce, or one day of this past year.
9 months and holding
Apr 08, 2009
This is how I used to feel right before I fell off the diet wagon.
6+ months
Jan 16, 2009
I am now ~175-170 pounds. I feel absolutely great! Emotionally, psychically and spiritually. I'm getting rid of clothes by the trunk full. I actually go out in public and "want" to be seen. This life altering metamorphosis is beyond anything I ever expected. I'm no longer embarrassed to talk about it and answer people truthfully when they say "How did you do it?" 
I also caution them that this is not an overnight fix. It's not a "diet." But it's difficult to suppress my happiness. I gush. I'm down right giddy. 
But even after 6 months, it's a daily chore to get in my protein drink. I feel well enough that I can skip a day but I feel tired and weak the following day.
Forty years of bay eating habits don't magical go away in 6 months. Things I can NO LONGER
eat: anything carbonated, iced tea, french fries (but no problem with mashed potatoes or rice), raw cookie dough, 
ice cream, and no cake icing. I can manage a bite of cookie or cake, even chocolate but there's really no desire to have any. The flavor just doesn't satisfy me anymore. One craving I've had since shortly after coming home - is vinegar. 
Once I could have solid food, I was having a teaspoon of dill relish or I'd suck on a dill pickle - not eating it and only small amounts. Vinegar always soothed my stomach when I was younger and it still does apparently. Every meal is an event. I no longer take food for granted. Having the RNY is the only way I could have ever managed to pay attention to what and how I eat. I can't just pop something in my mouth absent-mindedly. And everyday is something new to learn.
Two months out
Aug 26, 2008
I had very few side effects, no hair loss, no dumping, no nausea. I've been very lucky.What I hadn't expected is my anti-depressants stopped working. One was changed to liquid form. But I need to have them adjusted or changed completely. I didn't expect this to be an issue.
I also grossly underestimated how difficult it would be to get my protein shakes and water in. Before WLS I drank 2 liters a day with no problem. Now I struggle to get half that. I have yet to find a shake that taste good.
I would not change having the surgery. I miss food and flavor but I've been assured that will return. In the meantime I feel wonderful and am so happy I did it.
less than 2 weeks.
Jun 12, 2008
13 days. This morning I had my orientation and doctor consult. I'm feeling so sad - which I don't under stand. I'm not really scard or nervous. I'm sure I'll get there. But for now I'm just sad. One minute I want support and attention from my husband - but then I don't want him to worry and fell my clinging to him. Outside I'm calm but inside I feel like a chmpion ping-pong player. My thoughts are going back & forth, high & low.
I can't make up my mind.
4 weeks 1 day
May 27, 2008
I keep telling myself it's not going to get any better without the WLS. I know I'm doing the right thing. But all the e-mails and blogs I read of how difficult the recovery is and the pain and the never ending nausea...I wonder "what the h... am I doing?" 
There's this constant argument going on in my head. And now I have a question I never considered before. My husband likes "curvy" women. He loves the way I am. What if he doesn't like what I become?
Date is set.
Apr 24, 2008
Just a vent
Apr 23, 2008
I wonder (rhetorically) how other obese people handle it when they are 200-250 pounds over they’re natural weight. I myself am 150 pounds over and I’m always tired. I have muscle ache and breathlessness just walking from my car to my desk at work. With my sleep apnea I stop breathing at night sometimes as often as once a week. (Luckily I wake up in time.)
I don’t mean to sound judgmental, heaven knows I’m in no position to. I just can’t help thinking if I feel this bad, how bad do the heavier people feel? When they loose and weight what I weigh now, do they feel the way I do, or better? How much better am I going to feel?
It’s difficult to fathom. I don’t remember the last time I didn’t feel so tired and worn out. Have I done enough damage that it’s become too late. Will I always feel this? Again, this is all rhetorical – I don’t expect any answers. I’m just venting.
My Health
Mar 27, 2008
I finally told my sister and mother about my pursuing the WLS. But I was emphatic that I did NOT want this discussed 
with extended family and friends. I realized that I’m still ashamed of how out of control I let my weight go. 
I hear “obesity is a disease” like alcoholism. For all those people out there, I believe that. But most people who don’t suffer from it still look at as a lack of control issue. “If she just diet and exercise…” “Just push yourself away from the table…” Most people still think this is cosmetic – vanity. Every person who reads this knows it’s not true.
I force myself to focus on getting my health back. Being able to do all the things this body doesn’t allow me to do now. But secretly, 
late at night, just before falling asleep, I let my mind wander to the vanity side of the results. It’s going to be interesting. I fantasies about all the people who haven’t seen me recently and the shocked look when they do. I want to see their eyes bug out and their jaws fall open. 
I look forward to shopping anywhere other than the “WIDE WORLD of WOMEN.”
But it's for my health...right?
