landerson15

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So I am 4.5 months post op and I've lost 84 lbs. So exciting and yet frustrating too. I can see my clothes looser and find myself buying a new pair of jeans here or a sweater there, but if I was honest with myself, I am still not seeing the loss. I guess I didn't see myself the way I was before and now my body looks the way I thought I looked already. Does that even make sense? I never saw myself, really, as overweight as I really was and so these changes seem so slow to me. I guess I really did think I would wake up 3 months post op and see a skinny, beautiful woman in the mirror. Instead, I still see myself. But I will say, I think I'm looking better each week and month that goes by so I am beginning to really see myself and like what I see.

I struggle with drinking water, even though I drank lots of water before the surgery. I think this is my way of rebelling or something. I have to work on getting water, vitamins, and exercise in EVERY DAY not just "most of the time". It's true that old habits don't go away with the surgery and my need to sabotage myself is still there but I'm working on it.

Well my body, mind, and attitude are all changing, but it's not been a walk in the park. I have lost about 58 lbs since I began my preop diet on July 7 but there was almost 2 weeks in August where I could barely eat and GAINED weight...that was rough. I'm happy with my weight loss now, and I know there will be plateaus coming, but I feel I'm prepared for that now. I still can't eat meat, I get sick EVERYTIME I try. Giving up meat isn't the worst that could happen and I've still got lots of time for my stomach to adjust.
Physically, I feel GREAT! I walk 1-2 miles almost everyday and can tell my stamina and energy are improving. Exercise has become my "me" time and with 3 kids and a busy hubby and job, I need that!

Well, I've not lost any weight since I left the hospital. I'm trying to convince myself that this is just a plateau and my body is working to recover but I'm a little frustrated. I've followed my Dr advice and trying to eat protein and get water in. Just gotta keep at it. Maybe if I can start exercising this week it will start coming off. Hope so....

Well, I'm one week post op and feeling pretty good. I'm tired because I started my period the day I got out of the hospital and I'm having trouble getting enough protein in because I'm never hungry. I'm getting cabin fever and want to get out and walk but I went one trip around the block today and I was EXHAUSTED! Kinda feel down about my activitiy level...but going to keep working on it. Not much weight lost over the last 3 days because I've been too tired to exercise but hopefully that will change soon. Still so happy I made this choice.

Came home today from the hospital. I am feeling great. No pain meds at any time and I'm happy about that because I hate the way they make me feel. I have had some bloating/gas pains that come and go and that's painful but it passes. I've been taking gasx and that helps ALOT!!! Still working on getting my water in...can only manage about 20-30 ounces but I'm going to keep working on getting it in. I've walked since I got out of surgery so that helps alot of things too.
Good news is I lost 4 pounds post surgery! 

Today is the 6th day of my 10 day pre op diet. It's not easy but I'm actually starting to get so excited and nervous about the surgery that I don't think about eating. Sunday I start my 3 day liquid only diet and I know it will be hard. Sunday is also my 9th wedding anniversary so I'll have lots of other things to think about than food;) Can't wait for the 18th to get here. I am so ready to begin new!

My surgery date is set and I am so ready! July 18, 2012 is the beginning of my new life. I am ready to focus on me and with that spend better quality time with myself and with my family because I'm not always eating, tired, or sick.

Today I received my approval letter from my insurance provider. That means I am getting ready to really begin the process of becoming who I want to be and going where I need to go. I'm excited, nervous, curious and, if I'm honest, a little bit embarassed about the journey I'm about to go on. I think that is the source of the weight to begin with...my need to take care of others, even to my detriment, and the shame of admitting that I have needs, problems, or issues and might need others to help me every once in a while.
I have a WONDERFUL husband who has helped me in our almost 10 years together to realize that it's OK to be honest with others and most importantly with MYSELF! That I'm not happy all the time and that's OK...because the only way you can be really happy is to be able to recognize when you're not and let others HELP you for a change. Together we have three wonderful boys who mean the world to me and I want to be around for all their milestones and dance at my grandchildren's weddings...but if I don't take care of myself now that will not happen...and I can't bear the thought of missing out on those moments because of my health and weight.
So here we go.....my first step