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August 10th, 2004.. I told my sister, Rebecca what I have decided to do yesterday, and she didn't seem too enthused about it at all. She wanted me to try some PILL that isn't even prescription from online!!! She wasn't very supportive, but she saw that I had made my mind up, so she stopped talking about other methods of losing weight, which I have tried already. She did agree to go with me, for my surgery, and be there for me. Why are people afraid of change? I myself, am afraid of change too... this will be totally unknown territory for me as I have always, always been fat. Well, I am still waiting for my packet to come in the mail from Dr. Cook. Seems like my insurance doesn't have Dr. Cook listed as a PPO. That will increase my costs, so I wonder what has to happen to get him to be my PPO?? Anyway, ya'll have a good day, I am going to go check the mail!!!! Best wishes and prayers go out to all my peers on here, even though we haven't met in person...we are all here in spirit.

I took the first step today and called Dr. Cook's office. They are going to send me a packet in the mail to fill out and then after i do that, I will go to a meeting (seminar) and find out more about the surgery.. I am 5'10 tall and weigh about 350 lbs.. cant really tell for sure, my scale only goes up to 330..I have weighed 350 for most of my adult life. Even as a fat child my mother took me to the doctor and got me put on those "yellow jacket" diet pills back in the day when they were the real thing. She later told me that I was irritable and cried alot. (NO WONDER!)
I always felt like she didn't love me because I was fat, and it has always been an issue for me, even though she has been dead now for 22 years. I am finally going to put this behind me and move forward with my life....hopefully as a lighter person!!! I am scared, I'll admit. I hope that my paperwork clears without a hitch!