Lotus K.

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Been really struggling trying to get this weight off. I am at 227.6 today. Whomp. Whomp. Been exercising like crazy...but you can't out exercise poor eating habits. My problem is definitely carbs...not sweets...but crackers, popcorn, and tortilla chips. Ughhhh!

Welp. I decided to check in. I am at 214.2 right now. The struggle continues. I am still trying to get back to the 180s at least. So far...not so good. I just don't "feel like it". I am tired of fighting!

Hey! It's another year! I went and had my bloodwork drawn. I weigh EXACTLY the same as I did last year! 217 pounds. In 2011 I did not for anytime during the year think about my weight...no diet...no exercise....for once I thought about other things (like getting a new job....buying a new house...etc). My body seems to just stay at the 220 weight with no effort on my part. This year I am going to try and focus on my goal of 187 pounds....that still is "obese" according to the charts...but I looked good at that weight...and right now I need to focus on an obtainable goal...well that's questionable...haven't been able to get back to that number in like 5 years! Whomp. Whomp.

I have not began my journey over. I usually start and stop and begin my weeks anew. I have been faithfully journaling every week. I am now on Week 39. I haven't lost...but one amazing thing is that I haven't gained either...I stay in the 220-225 range without effort. I have maintained this weight for 2 years now. I am not saying that is good....but not going back to my original weight is a plus.

I will keep you posted.I am still keepin on with this struggle!

I am still keeping track of the weeks...I just don't have my log with me at the moment. I am STRUGGLING! That is all I can say. Today's weight 222.0.

Looking for a change in my life. Can't keep this up. Thankful for all of God's blessing...but weepy, sad, depressed anyway. I can not shake this feeling of depression. Everyday is a struggle to get up. I try the pep talks...the look at the positive side talks...yet I still find myself at work trying to keep from crying.

I dont know what I am going to do. It is more than weight...that is just a manifestation of how I feel on the inside. Evil and negativity is currently winning this battle.

Up: 2.2 lbs

Not surprised. I am STILL not back on the bandwagon. That damn wagon has run me over and kept on moving.

Its been FOUR DAMN WEEKS since I have been off program. Damn...damn...damn..

I keep telling myself to get it together. I was doing soooo good with the exercise routine. 8 weeks straight of exercising EVERYDAY for at LEAST an hour! Damn Damn Damn. I ALWAYS let something throw me off.

I can't believe 4 weeks went by soooo damn fast. Now if I had of been on program....4 weeks would of took forever. Sucks how that works!

I am curious to see how I do in week 12. I have a vacay to Florida coming up this weekend. I know..I know.. I am on the go!

I said earlier...I am going to try harder and at LEAST exercise!

Pray for me.

Down: 2.0 lbs.

Nothing to cheer about. STILL off program. When I go away on vacation and come back. I just cant seem to jump right back in. That coupled with no matter how much I exercise and eat right....the weight WILL NOT COME OFF! That is sooooo frustrating and it is easy to lose motivation to keep going.

Up 3.2 pounds!

Was on my second vacation getaway this month (4th of July Reunion in OKC).

Ate what I wanted...didn't exercise...didn't take vitamins!

Total Loser. I HATE when I let life interfere with my program. I have GOT to do better. On my next vacay....which is less than a month away. I am going to TRY HARDER. At LEAST stick with exercise. We shall see. 

Oh no... have major vacations going on. (Virginia Beach with Moms) Began the vacay exercising ... then fell off! Damn it I hate when I let life get me off track!

Wow. That is all I can say. I am trying NOT to be down. This is the longest I have EVER worked out soooo hard. I mean... two hours a day. I have GOT to be more consistent with weight training. I HATE it...I find it a lot harder than cardio. But I have tried EVERYTHING else. This is probably the key....and I am suffering because I won't turn the key!

I CANT STOP! I MUST PUSH THROUGH THIS!

NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!

I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE!

Weight loss since re-commit: 5 pounds (in SEVEN LONG WEEKS!...I just can't believe this)
Total Weight Lost from all time high: 76.6 pounds
From Day of Surgery: 63.6 pounds