Lauren B

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I really wanted to share this story with you all, as it is a great example of how much our families love us and the things they do for us that we are never aware of.

I was visiting with my Mom and Dad this weekend and I was decked out in a pair of capri's, tank top and light weight hoodie sweater and flip flops.  It was a little too cool, but I was just feeling "beachy".  Mom saw me when I walked in the door and because of the type of capri's I was wearing (more like exercise pants - the fitted black kind) I look pretty slender.  She asked me "What size are you wearing now"  I said 10 pants and/or medium.  She just exclaimed "It's really amazing Lauren"  And then sat there quietly for a moment.  Then she started to cry.  I was like "OMG - what's the matter"  And she continued to say "It's just so amazing" sniffling.

Then she shared this with me...

About two or three years back, my mom told me she wanted to get a new dining room set and would we like the old one.  We took it and she proceeded to buy a very unique handcrafted table from a local woodworksman in Tappahannock VA.  It is a slender table, and long, not the normal width of a dining room table.  She told me then, that she did it to allow for more movement in the dining area as it felt a little cramped to her.  In between her tears, she told me that she bought that table so that I would be more comfortable.  That when Nate and I came over for dinner, I was always wedged between the table and the wall, the only allowance that the room size allowed for the old dining room set.  She said she specifically looked for someone who would had a slender table design to allow me a few extra inches of breathing room.

Needless to say, we both sat there a long time.  I can't believe that my mother invested in a crap load of money just for my comfort and to ease the physical limitations of my obesity.  I thanked her for loving me that much, and although hearing this story and knowing the magnitude of my obesity affected others the way it did makes me sad, I can't help but thank god for the wonderful family and mother I have.

Mom and I have really been going through a rough patch this past couple of months (long story), but it's moments like these that are special and unforgettable.  I'm so glad she shared the truth with me.

L

Okay seriously, not just a WOW moment, this is a holy Sh&t moment.  LOL

I have officially purchased size 10 jeans.  Even though my size 12's work pants have been a bit loose, I was shopping for new jeans and still went for the 12's.  Too big.  I took a deep breath and walked back out and got size 10.  Like a glove!  :)  Seven Jeans at Marshalls for $20.  Kick a$$.  :)

Oh and then I was out two days ago and the sales lady told me my work pants were too baggy.  God bless that very honest woman.  LOL.  I will be getting new work pants promptly.

On the first day of the new year I HIT GOAL!!  WHOOP WHOOP!

I forgot to post my measurements from about two weeks ago!:
Bust (full) - down 14 inches
Bust (band) - down 15 inches
Waist - down 16 inches
Hip - down 22 inchess
Thighs - down 11-12.5 inches
Upper Arms - down 4.5-5 inches

I also do a upper waist and lower hip measurement (to measure some fatter/skinnier areas).  All my measurements total up to 136 inches.  It really is amazing.

In clothes I am so pleased with how I look.  Naked...well that's another story.  LOL.

I recently had a Dexa scan to give myself a baseline to monitor calcium malabsorption down the road.  I was happy to get it ordered and approved through my medical insurance.  YEAY!

I've also started keeping a closer watch on my food and protein intake since now the weightloss has slowed down so much.  After journaling a few sample days I found that I was taking in enough protein from my food to eliminate the protein bar I had added a month back (thinking I was not reaching my protein goals).  It seems all that was doing was adding unnecessary calories and protein above my daily goal.  I also adjusted the size of my lunch a bit to help knock down the calorie count a bit.  I will go over it again with the nutritionist in December, but know that I need to maintain a lower amount of calorie intake because I do not exercise like I should.

I did power walking (for me) three days last week and felt good about that even though I didn't enjoy myself.  Exercise is an unpleasantry for me.  I just don't enjoy it.  I wish I could change, but it is the way it is.  At least I'm trying...

I'm excited about my one year followup appt next month.  I just can't wait to see Dr. Maher and him to see how I've done.  :)  I'm so proud and know he will be proud of me too.

I will update more another time... 

I had the best weekend!  I attended the OH Event in Falls Church, VA.  Friday evening started with a 1 mile walk around the complex.  It was a fun time guided by our little mini orange and black halloween flashlights.  :)  We had a group of of maybe 15 people including OH event coordinator Johanna, plastic surgeon Dr. Bitar and our event host Jackie.  Following the walk we gathered for a roundtable discussion with water and starbucks drinks.  Dr. Kathy Nickerson joined us after arriving to the hotel.  We enjoyed good conversation, sharing of our journies so far and many laughs.

Saturday started with a full vendor area with many samples, literature and displays.  We then gathered at the main stage to enjoy a day of great speakers, lunch and door prize ceremony at the closing comments.

There were so many highlights that I could share, but overall, I SO enjoyed my time of learning, community, meeting new people and spending time with old friends!  Thanks everyone!

Checking in again…  I had a major WOW moment last weekend.  We finally went to King Dominion to try and see if I could fit in a rollercoaster again.  I DID!  We rode 7 rollercoasters.  It was AWESOME!  I haven’t been on a roller coaster comfortably in nearly 10 years.  I will post the picture from the Dominator.  :)

I’m proud to report I’m fitting in a size 18 pants now.  And I just bought a new size 18 dress for a wedding I’m attending this weekend.  I was SO excited.  I took my mom shopping with me and we shared a dressing room.  As I was slipping the dress over my head, I told her “you know, last year, I wouldn’t have been able to get this over my shoulders”  We really just stood there in amazement.  It was a really good moment.  And even better – I got a $80 dress for $20!  WOOHOO!  :)  Go me – the sale shopper.  :)

This weekend is full of great plans – I’m going to a show Friday night, a get-together on Saturday, and then a wedding Saturday evening.  Tonight I’ve got to stop by the mall to get a gift and drop Aunt Jean’s sweater off to her.  I’ve been holding it hostage since Memorial Day.  Boy does time fly.  I won’t have a lot of time to visit with her, but at least I’ll feel better finally getting her sweater back that been in my car.  Then I’m off to home to have some dinner and get some rest for tomorrow.  I’m glad the week is nearly over.

I can’t believe it’s so close now, but we are rounding up on our last week before our vacation to Myrtle Beach.  It should be a really great time.  So far we have our hotel reservations, tickets to a ballgame and know we want to hit Broadway something or other and Barefoot Landing again.  I looked online and sent a couple more ideas of things to do to Nate to see what he thought.  As usual, we have lots of ideas of stuff to go to, but not enough time.  I have to ask him to pull out the suitcase(s) this weekend so we can start planning what we are bringing and all.  I know next Thursday evening will be hectic for us packing and taking the cats to Wingmont Kennels.  That reminds me, I need to grab a bit of fabric from my stash, to act as small blankie’s for the cats.  I’m going to through them in the bed with us next week so the fabric gets our “smell” on it and hopefully reminds them of us and makes the separation a little easier.  Piper will be fine, last time she even came out and played with the office staff and sat on their desks while they worked.  But Nemi will be another story.  She gets extremely aggravated when she has to get in the carrier to go anywhere, nevermind sleeping in a strange kitty condo.  We are going to leave instructions this time to just feed and water her and don’t try to do any handling, because she scared the shit out of the staff last time around.  Also we are going to load her into her condo and take her out too, to try and make it an easy time for everyone.  Last time we had to get her out of there because they were unable to.  She’s a BAD hissy spitty kitty when she wants to be, but Nate has become our certified cat wrangler!  Even the vet always says how good he handles her when we do vet visits.  He is her assistant, because the vet assistant usually doesn’t want to risk losing an eye.  Sigh…  Poor Nemi, she’s been my baby now for 9 ½ years and she STILL has issues, even though she was only 6months old when I got her.  The abuse really left a toll on her.  I wish people could see how sweet she is with me at home, she just doesn’t deal well with change.

Other than that, I got promoted at work last week.  I’m now a Senior Estimator.  Life is good.  :)
 

Only a few more pounds to go until I hit 150lbs lost.  I'm so excited about it.  It's like a huge milestone for me.  I'm going to be so proud to say "I've lost 150lbs!".  Just this morning I told my husband that I'm only 1lb away from my goal (220lbs) to try going on the rides at a theme park again.  I've proposed to go to Kings Dominion in a couple of weekends to see if I fit in the rollercoaster seats.  I can't WAIT.  It's been almost 9 years since I've been on one and I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS.  I was 240lbs the last time I rode one and I really had to squeeze in and remember thinking they shouldn't have let me on the ride, so with the 20lb less buffer I think I should fit fine.  I hope so.

Today I'm going to a Richmond area gathering of OH friends at Hadad's lake.  It looks kinda gloomy out, which is dissapointing, but maybe it will clear up and turn out to be a sunny day.  Even so, I intend to bring my own sun and happiness and have a great time!  :)  Boo, I just looked it up and it's only going to be a high of 86 with scattered thunderstorms.  I imagine this will affect our turnout.  BAH.  I'm going anyways and we'll see how it turns out, weather wise.

Next weekend I'm going to CT and I'm so anxious.  I can't wait to see everyone and hug my family that I never see.  :)  It's going to be a hectic short trip, but I hope well worth it.  The only thing I'm not looking forward to is the long drive there and back.  But I'm going to get to bed early Thursday evening and hopefully get a super early start on Friday morning since I'm expecting the Friday traffic to be hell.  Generally as a rule, if you don't get to the GW bridge by 3pm you're screwed, but my family told me that if I don't get to the CT border by 230pm I'm screwed!  So that makes me have to leave super early.  I'm going to use the alternate route up 301 past washington so I don't hit morning rush hour in state here.  301 takes longer, but will promise to be a much more pleasant drive I'm sure.

I still have to go baby shower shopping this week.  I never got to that this weekend.  Ugh.  I'm going to try and do that on wednesday since I'll already be in the west end after work for a doctors appt.  They are registered at babies-r-us so I'll go take a peek and see if I can get a few things she asked for and a few things i picked out too.  :)

I have SO much to do this week.  I have two large commitments at work and will be sure to have to work OT on Monday and Tuesday.  I don't have a choice, Wednesday I have to leave on time for my doctors appt.  Since Thursday is my last working day before I'm off on Friday, I suspect I'll have everything buttoned up pretty well and be able to leave on time.  On man, I'm going to be exhausted this week.  Just thinking about it makes me exhausted.  LOL

Well...off to make my cup-a-joe.  Yummo.  we are trying raspberry creme today.  :)

The following is an excerpt from the book "Meditations for Women Who Do Too much" by Anne Wilson Schaef.  I thought it might be nice to share one on a weekly basis for discussion or your own private journaling purposes.  Enjoy!

Week #3 - FEAR/CONTROL

Fear has a smell, as love does.  Margaret Atwood.

The tightening of the stomach, the sweaty palms, the increasing inability to focus, the tingling in our arms and hands, and the anxiety about looking good or having the right answer - we all know about fear.

Unfortunately, the life of the woman who does too much is controlled by fear.  What if we're not good enough?  What if we're not on time?  What if nobody likes us?  By the time we have worked ourselves up into a lather, we are incapable of producing anything good.  Fear and our illusion of control are intimately related.  It is when we believe that we can control the outcome and the responses of others that we get fearful.  Our worrying is a form of pre-control.

As I acknowledge my fear and trun it over to a power beyond myself, I can get the job done and done well.

Hmmm, interesting topic.  I'd like to think that I'm not a woman controlled by fear, but I'll break it down and see how I REALLY fare.  I sat here thinking about about any recent events where I had fear and could only think of one.  I don't really want to get into the nitty gritty of it, but in short, yes, I do have a fears and the thought of how someone's actions other than my own would affect the outcome of something.  I do tend to stress over the "what-if's".

A great example of that that I can share is I can work myself into a frenzy over a pending visit with the in-laws.  I mean really get myself worked up.  I sit there and think about what they are going to say, what could possibly happen, what will my reaction be, I'd like to say *THIS*, etc. etc.  Before you know it, I haven't even gotten there and I've already gotten myself in full panic attack mode.

There is much truth in that you CANNOT control others, and the only thing you can adjust is your reaction to a situation or the irrational fear you set in motion to begin with.  It's a tough thing to do.  We are all fearful of something.  It can be not being a good parent, not having a successful career, not getting all the things down that we want to get done, anything really!  The trick is to stay positive and keep your head above these fearful thoughts and trudge through.  Every day is a challenge and we can get through it.  Have faith in yourself and keep those worrying thoughts at bay.  :)

Well I'm almost there.  I have been keeping the mini-goal of hitting 150lb lost in my sights and hope that I can hit that by the time I go to CT in two weeks.  I think it’s attainable.  I would love to have the round number of saying “I’ve lost 150lbs” when I see my family who hasn’t seen me since surgery.  I’m really excited about showing everyone how successful I’ve been so far.  The entire family has been so supportive and can’t wait to get some hugs, albeit smaller hugs.

I also am waiting to hit the 150lb lost mark to document my next round of photos.  I haven't done photos for several sizes dropped now and am excited to see what I look like.  I’m going to try and do those side my side comparisons to my pre-op photos.  I’ll also do another round of measurements.

This past weekend I was looking at old head shots and I am amazed how good my face looks comparatively.  When I started my eyes looked sunken in from the puffiness of my cheeks and temples.  Also, I’m quite pleased with my receding double chin.  It’s about the only thing skin wise that did bounce back.  Considering that my face is my first impression, I’m really happy about that.  Because I can honestly say I would never consider any kind of facial tightening or anything like that, so my face going back to the way it used to be is just great.  My body, well that’s another story, but one day maybe I’ll deal with it re-constructively, I’m definitely open to that down the road.  For now, I’m just so happy to be a healthier person even if I have a little extra skin going on.

August is going to be a great month for me/us.  I have a trip planned back “home” to CT for my cousin’s wife’s baby shower.  I’m super excited for them and can’t wait to see my cousins, Aunt’s and Uncle’s.  I’m also trying to coordinate a visit with one of my dear friends who is like a sister to me.  I’m hoping for a jam packed weekend of fun the first weekend of August.

The last weekend of August Nate and I will be going to Myrtle Beach.  It’s our 5 year anniversary present to ourselves and the first vacation we’ve taken since our honeymoon to Myrtle Beach five years ago.  I can’t wait!

Other than my August plans, everything is going great at home and work and of course health wise I couldn’t be happier.  We are working on some projects around the house and finishing up and starting to get quotes on new flooring is so close now that I can almost taste it.  WOOHOO!  I can’t WAIT to rid ourselves of the old carpet.  We are going to get laminate flooring.  About the only disappointment that I have is that we are probably going to have to modify what we want (color wise) to what would match best with the stained moulding and doors throughout the house.  Personally I have a love of reddish hued wood colors, but that will not match the moulding.  So it looks like we will be going for something a little darker to coordinate with the existing features of the house.  I know I would never consider redoing all the moulding in the house, it’s a completely unnecessary expense, so I’m just going to have to get over it.  I’m  hoping to be ready to get someone in to measure and look at samples in early to mid August.  And maybe we can look at installation in September.  HOORAY!

The following is an excerpt from the book "Meditations for Women Who Do Too much" by Anne Wilson Schaef.  I thought it might be nice to share one on a weekly basis for discussion or your own private journaling purposes.  Enjoy!

Week #3 - COURAGE

What I am actually saying is that we each need to let out intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance directly and fearlessly.  Shakti Gawain.

One of the most frightening things in the world is to trust our intuition and follow that trusting.  It is hard for us to believe that what the Quakers call our "inner light" is really the way our power greater than ourselves speaks most clearly to us.

When we are one with ourselves and our proces, we are truly one with the process of the universe.  When we are one with ourselves, our lives seem to fall into place effortlesly.  All of us know the feeling of moments of effortless living.  When we have the courage to trust our intuition, life begins to live itself.

My intuition connects me with the voice I need to hear.

I'm a person who is big on intuition and first impressions.  I find that when I question myself or my gut feeling, the outcome does not fair well.  But that has more to do with dealing with people, not life.  As far as life goes, I'm kind of a day by day person.  I try my best to keep structure and like to make lists to help me stay on track, but for the most part, I take what is dealt day by day and go from there.  It's sometimes hard for me to grasp that there is some sort of divine plan for my boring day to day existance.  Even so, I am thankful and I am up for each new day to see where this universal guidance will take me.