Lauren B

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Here are my results so far with a weightloss of 109lbs:
Bust (full) - down 7.5in
Bust (band) - down 10in
Waist - down 10.5in
Hip - down 12in
Thighs - down 6.5-7.5inches
Upper Arms - down 2.25-2.5inches.

That's nearly 50inches lost!!  WOOHOO!

I almost can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't know what my weight is?!?!!  I've become such a scale pimp - I'm stealing that great way of putting it from a fellow OH'er  :) - that I can't believe I went five days without weighing!!  I'll try and remember tomorrow morning.

This week was a long hard one at work.  I really worked hard and my body and mind is definately feeling the burn so to speak.  HA HA.  I'm just glad for the next couple of days off.

I got four new cd's in the last couple days, three by one artist, one by another.  Both great artists!  Check them out - Mieka Pauley (www.mieka.com) and Ingrid Michaelson.  Definately Mieka is my new fav.  :)  Very strong vocals.  I suggest the song "All The Same Mistakes".  AWESOME.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  I'm meeting another local OH'er for lunch.  I've packed a little goodie bag of protein's for her to try from my stash of things that haven't worked for me.

Sunday I may go to a organ recital at one of the historic churches here in King William County.  I've been wanting to go to this church to take pictures because it's so pretty for some time now and I love music events, so I'm hoping for a nice afternoon of both. I hope for sun and clear skies for the photos.  I wish I could hear the RIchmond symphony more often.  I really need to check out if/when they are playing again.  I haven't been to a concert in over two years now!  GEEZ.  Music is a huge part of my life and mental wellbeing HA HA, I really do need to find more live events to attend and get me some "happy juice" on a more regular basis.  :)

I had my 3-month followup with Dr Maher this past week.  Technically it's been four months since surgery, either we were a bit late in scheduling or something else messed up the schedule?  Anyway, he was pleased with my results and his associate who briefly saw me first stated "You are really seeing results" after checking my pre-op and current weights.  Also Dr.  Maher wrote a big star and "100 lbs" on my chart.  WOOHOO.  :)  Oddly enough they didn't do labs.  I thought they would but guess I won't be too overly concerned about it.  He said as long as I'm not having any problems they will probably wait to re-check until December to look at the year mark before and after lab aresults.  I have another followup scheduled in July.

I have been struggling with getting in my vitamins.  I know how important it is and am vowing to start anew tomorrow and get myself back on track.  It's been about a month now with not following my normal daily regime.  I went ahead and bought the less irritable version of iron tonight at Vitamin Shoppe.  That's the pill that I'm most concerned about in the short term.  I'm horribly run down and exhausted all the time, and finally someone close to me mentioned that it could be caused by an iron deficiency.  So I really need to do my part in helping myself.

I finally tried Muscle Milk Light tonight.  They only had Chocolate Mint.  It tastes good and went down easily.  So far so good.  I have a bit of gas and a winch of tight tummy, but no heavy cramping or bathroom runs (that I can sometimes  get with the lactose intolerance) since I drank it approximately 4 hours ago, so I figure I'm in the clear.  Especially considering that I had some seafood tonight that didn't fare too well and that could be the reason for my fussy tummy.  Now I'll go ahead and buy some for my protein stash.  I figure after I drink a four pack I should know for sure it's effects on me.  :)  THANKS CINDY!  I also looked at the regular muscle milk (someone had posted a message about the Light being the same as the regular other than serving size).  I didn't find that the labels matched (other than the expected serving size difference), what concerned me most was that the muscle milk regular stated that it had no lactose, but the ingrediants clearly noted whey concentrates.  GEEZ.  That's conflicting information!  That was pretty much my reason for not buying more of the Light version becuase I wondered if I would be wasting my money again.  I double checked the Light label and saw it also has caseinates, which I reacted to in the Wonder-Slim products, so I only bought one MM Light to try from the fridge section.  Now I figure I'll try it a few more times to make sure it's not a fluke.  I'm hoping I can find the plain Chocolate flavor to try too.  Either way though, I have to make another stinking trip to the Vitamin Shoppe.  ARGH.

Nate is in the bedroom already.  He acted kinda funny towards me tonight.  Maybe I'm reading into it, but it seemed like he was irritated that I came right home from dinner and ignored him so he went to bed to sulk or something?!?!  It's just that I FINALLY could breath and didn't have to worry about what time I'm going to bed.  I've been working on laundry and then came on OH of course.  Oh well, I guess he'll get over it.  I don't like to condone the man-child routine he pulls occasionally.  Especially since we JUST talked about kids tonight.  He needs to man up and realize the world doesn't revolve around him.  I'm just training him to be a good parent, because when the day comes, we cannot be focused on if Nate has a wild hare that night.  Know what I mean?!?!

My sister-in-law is really struggling with her daughter.  Sarah, my niece is 13 and quite a handful.  She's struggling in school and has some emotional issues that are coming out to play too.  I so wish them strength and guidance to find a solution or at least something that will help improve the situation at hand.  I was so upset by something she said to me tonight.  I thought it over and decided I would like to explain how although I know she didn't mean anything by it, you need to be cautious when you talk to people about medical issues that the person you are talking to experiences in a negative light.  I called her twice but she didn't pick up.  I'll try and reach her over the weekend to talk about it.  We talk every single day and I love her so much.  She is trully my sister.  I always joke with her about her being the best part of my marriage.  HA HA.  Anyway, I just want her to be better informed of what Sarah's doctors are saying in regards to her health care.  There is no "easy button" or gift wrapped solution box waiting on your doorstep.  All these things take work and patience.

Signing off...

Today I'm at 104.5lbs lost.  I'm feeling good except that I was a waste this weekend and didn't do anything more than sleep, blog, and watch the boob tube.

My mom wasn't very nice to me about it today either.  I ended up crying.  She called later on to see if I was still upset, and I'm fine, but sometimes the woman is just too honest.  I don't want to hear that I'm a lazy bum and that's why I never get anything done at home.  I'm just exhausted all the time.  I mean, I seriously work myself to the bone during the week.  I LITERALLY, sleep, eat, and work for five days straight.  I have approximately 2 hours an evening to myself...THAT'S IT!!!  That's the kind of commitment I have to my career and it's important to me.  So, yeah, I am a lump by the time the weekend shows up.  What's worse is that I'm 200% better than I was 100lbs ago, so what the heck does that say about what she thought of me then?  It just makes me sad.  I wish I could really motivate myself to do more, but I always feel like I'm catching up sleep and I'm always run down.  :(

I did some myspace searching this weekend and sent a bunch of messages to people I went to school with.  I'm excited to see if I hear anything back.  It was fun to see the profiles of people who included pics and all and see how they have all changed and have families and all.  :)

This week was a good one...

My office moved to a new location and I GOT AN OFFICE.  WOOHOO.  Of course I always am adaptable as needed, but I prefer to work alone, without distractions, and of course without my observing the goings on of the employees who bug the crap out of me.  So, HOOOORAHHH for my own space.  I'm getting a new desk in addition to my drafting table so I'm psyched.  I'm going to start choosing a few pictures of earthmoving equipment closeups to make a framed photo collage for my wall.  I fully intend on making my space all mine.  :)

We celebrated Nate's (hubbykins) 34th birthday on Tuesday.  We are closing out the birthday WEEK with a final dinner and cake with my parents this weekend.  He had a birthday dinner alone with me last weekend, a night at home (well sorta, I had support group tuesday night) on his birthday and then tonight.  He's hapy as a clam because he stocked up on alot of new fishing gear with his birthday gift cards and money.  :)

I'm also very close to the 100lbs mark.  Today I'm at 98lbs lost.  YEAY!

Last nights trip to Walmart got me a new pair of $20 jeans.  A small goal of mine was to finally fit in some cheap jeans after nearly a decade of paying three times the price at Catherines.  I was so excited.  Damn I love cheap clothes.  :)

We had some tree work done at the house this past week too.  It looks good.  Mainly we got a few of the diseased and leaning trees out and ground down alot of older stumps that looked like crap.  Nate worked in the yard a bit this morning on the grindings cleanup, I hate to admit but my sorry arse was taking a nap.  My mother scolded me this afternoon for not getting out there and working too.  Maybe we'll finish off the backyard cleanup tomorrow.

I'm looking forward to ham dinner at Mom and Dad's tomorrow.  We might do some egg coloring too.  It seems so silly at this point, my being 32 and all, but Mom insists.  She likes to set me all up with the different mugs of color and we have fun fighting about whether this or that egg is more colorful and is better and who will get it.  HA HA.  I told her this year, since I don't do hard boiled eggs well anymore that we don't need to color as many.  She was dissapointed, but at least we'll do a dozen for her.

I'm looking forward to my followup doctors appt coming up in about a week and a half.  I'll be curious to see what my labs show.  I wish there was a way to be re-tested for my cpap.  But at this point, the office I was going to is no longer in the network and I don't want to pay out of pocket for a followup sleep study.  I'm going to wait a while longer and see if our new insurance covers that doctor.  I would love to find out that my cpap setting could be lowered.  I know at this point that I still need it because the few nights I've gone without I end up with a migraines the following day.  Poo.  Maybe one day though I'll be off of it.

I found out yesterday that my cousin and his wife are having a baby.  It's official...the next generation of the family is starting.  I'm SOOOO excited for them, but kinda sad at the same time.  I was well aware that someone would probably beat me to the punch, but it's somehow different when it actually happens.  Hell, by the time I get to goal and am able to start trying, the other cousin will probably have beat me on the baby scene too.  It's not a race or anything, it's just that people assume you'll all do it in the order of age and it just hasn't been that way.  It's okay though, I talked to Nate about how we would have our happy day too of calling all the family members to make an annoucement in the future.  I really look forward to that.

You know speaking of babies, I just get so confused.  A baby is really the entire reason why I'm here now, doing this, having had surgery and all.  It was my complete motivation for doing so, BUT, I then get nervous about the whole family thing.  It's such a commitment and change in life.  Every parent I know or love tells me parenthood is the most special thing ever, but I can't help but be scared or question myself all the time.  What if we aren't ready?  What if Nate won't help me?  How will I juggle my career and a baby?  ETC ETC.  It's just so much to think about.

I saw a little girl in the grocery store the other day.  She made me smile.  I wanted her, right there and then.  I keep this picture of a little girl on my fridge.  I found her in a magazine one day and thought she looked like me.  I keep her picture there as a reminder of what my future could hold.  I hope I'm so lucky one day.   Oh geez, I'm sniffling up right now.  I'm such a wuss...  HA HA



 

I'm down in Williamsburg this weekend.  I'm hanging in the hotel a bit this morning until my husband finishes up with his patch collecting function.  Then we are off to tour Colonial Williamsburg.  I can't wait to get going.  It's going to be a long day, but a great end to the day since we have reservations at the Kings Arms Taverns.  From how he made it sound it may just be the most expensive dinner we've ever done together.  What a hoot!  I'm such a diner girl.  Or should I say I USED to be a diner girl.  There are no freaking diners in VA.  What a shame.  :(

As of yesterday I weighed 281 - a loss of 88lbs.  YEAYYYYY!!  And on my way here I popped into the Walmart to grab a pair of stretch capris to lounge in the hotel in.  I got a 26/28 and figured they would be a little snug.  Either they are sized in relaxed fashion OR they were a bit big.   YEAY!  :)

I finally got tired of my rings almost falling off, so I bound my wedding set together with a rubber band and it now is not loose.  That should last me a good while before I have to do a ring sizing.  And my right hand ring I just moved to my middle finger.  It's really not a middle finger ring, but I have yet to get to the jeweler.  For my wedding set especially, I don't want to size them too often.  Also depending on my overall weightloss a year or more down the road, I may have to buy a new set because you can only size and ring up or down a maximum of 2-3 sizes before you lose the integrity of the design and overall shape of the ring.  I'm going to discuss this when I go get my right finger ring sized.  How many sizes do I have until we have to plunk down money on a new setting.

Other changes I'm seeing are actually kind of gross...it has to do with the fat and skin I have.  I'm losing volume in my tummy and thighs and the skin is starting to show what it will look like later on.  There's like a rippling effect of the skin where it's no longer expanded from the extra fat.  GROSS!  And my boobs are just beyond help.  Hell I never was perky to begin with, I was blessed with the freaking mutant boob gene from purberty and always had large heavy breasts, but now they are just large heavy pendulous breasts.  POO!  Thank GOD for bras.  That actually make me look normal.  I went and bought a few new bras maybe two weeks back and included an underwire bra.  I haven't worn an underwire in literally 8 years  or so because the breasts were so big that the center part of the wire would stick out away from my breast bone when I sat and it looked stupid.  But I tried one one and loved the way it really held the girls up and fit so well, so I bought two, one in skin tone, one in black.  WELL, I only had to wear that torture trap one day to know that I am still not small enough to do the underwires.  It was so freaking uncomfortable I could hardly stand it until I could go home and rip the damn thing off.  Because of my fat rolls on my back it shifted the bra up making the underwire go into my armpits and the wire under the breasts rubbed every time I sat down or stood up at work and by the time i got home I was raw and red.  I'll put that baby to rest for a while.  Geez.

My husband's actions lately are growing increasingly strange.  Don't get me wrong, I love the extra attention, but I'm not used to there being any sort of effort on his part.  Take this weekend.  We usually stay the one night and then head home saturday morning, but he planned this whole little mini trip away and some site seeing, dinner and another nights stay for me.  It was sweet.  He was all secretive about it.  I'm not sure if he is feeling vulnerable by the weightloss or just plainly is more attracted to me since I'm losing weight?  But he has been extremely lovey touchy feely the last two months.  One thing I can say about the hubby is that he ALWAYS made me feel beautiful no matter what my size, it's not that he wasn't attracted to me before, it just seems like he's more attracted now?  Either way, the extra attention has been nice.

Well I'm down 82lbs AND I fit into a size 28 today!  WOOHOO!  I am down from a tight 34.  :)  I'm very happy.

I've been wearing my very loose size 32 pants for work for the last month and finally this past week I took notice of the complete saggy diapers look I was sporting.  So, I told myself I would have to go and get some new pants.  I assumed I would probably be getting a size 30, like my newer jeans that I've been wearing.  But my mom found me a few pairs of 28's when outlet shopping and I figured - oh hell I'll try them on.  And I modeled for my husband just to make sure I wasn't trying to squeeze into something the wrong size, but he confirmed THEY FIT.  So I have three new pairs of pants.  About the only thing is that I prefer black and none of them are black.  But now that I'm in a 28, I don't have to go pay the higher prices at Catherines anymore and have a bit more flexibility on where to shop.  I'll have to set aside one evening this week to go look around.  :)

Oh and I also hit a great sale at Lane Bryant and was able to find four new bras.  I bought two of my usual bras that I love and are comfortable and also got two lacy prettier ones.  :)

LIFE IS GOOD!!  :)

Well I'm almost two months out and am down 76lbs.  WOOHOO!  I hit a major milestone a week ago on my birthday and got back into the 200's.  Gone are the 300's forever.  I'm excited.  This morning I weighed 293.  :)

I had something cool happen this morning...  I have various sizes of the same pair of pants, because I would pretty much buy the same exact one pair of pants that was available at Catherines - one khaki, one blue, on black.  Well I went to slip on my pants this morning and didn't even need to unzip them.  I just pulled them on as if they were elastic waist!  So perplexed I said to myself I must have grabbed the wrong size and checked the label, but NO, they were in fact the pants I've been wearing for several weeks and they were just loose now.  I got a smile out of that.  Okay, soon enough, I'll need to go down another size for my work clothes.  I am trying not to look sloppy.  I have one smaller size jeans that gets me by on the weekends, but I don't have any smaller works pants, so I may have to drop some coin soon.  But I'm going to try and make the pants work for a while longer.  My shirts on the other hand are getting way too big and definately look sloppy.  Someone commented to me that my shirt "was falling off of me".  I really didn't pay much attention, but went to the bathroom and saw what they menat.  It is a good one to two sizes too large.  I do like how the extra fabric hides my lumpy belly though, whereas a more well fitting shirt wouldn't hide that.

I also tried my first piece of toasted bread last night.  I made myself a 1/4 sandwich of oatmeal wheat toast with a bit of tuna fish on it with light mayo.  YUMMO!  It went so well and I was so excited that I commented to my husband that my eating a teeny sandwich was about as close to "normal" as I have come.  :)  Not that eating different is a problem, but it's just different.  I really enjoyed that morsel.  :)

I had a nice swim last night and noticed that more than the leg workout from kicking, I got a really good upper body workout too.  I was happy with that because I have so much arm fat and I hate the "back and side boobs".  Maybe I'll burn off some of that too.  :)

Things are going really well.  I haven’t had any major problems.  I did get sick to my stomach two times last week, but vomiting is very different now.  There is no acid, just the food comes back up.  Both times I attribute it to eating too fast.  

 

I’ve been doing very good on my protein.  My new way of thinking of it at medicine and just sucking it down is working.  I’m getting more than recommended with my 12oz of milk in the morning, which puts me at the goal that the nutritionist set for me.  I wonder if I had an additional protein shake a day, If it would help speed up the weight loss?  I’ll have to ask about that.

 Drinking is still a challenge.  I’m tolerating larger sips now, but don’t drink frequently enough.  I seem to be getting in about 34 ounces of fluid a day, but that includes my shakes, milk and water.  The water is only at about 10ounces.  I would like to raise that up.

 I got to try lunchmeat this week.  It was yummy and easy going down.  Monday I had turkey breast and Tuesday I had ham.  I found the turkey breast to be very filling and didn’t finish my portion.  The ham tasted good, but was less filling, I think the slices were thinner that the turkey.

 This past weekend I went to the Richmond WLS Conference and Sock Hop.  It was a very nice time – a good mix of learning and socializing.  It was extremely comforting to know that everyone there eating was in the same boat.  It’s probably the first time that I didn’t feel that my new eating habits were strange.  I was a bit surprised by the larger amounts of food the WLS grads ate.  And there were a few comments made to me about my not having my appetite back and eating smaller portions.  But for right now, I know what I can handle and I’m not looking to rock the boat as far an indulging.  That will just lead me back towards the bad habits I have.  The “tool” really does work, because you become full very fast with our little pouches.  The conference had some great sessions – A Plastic Surgeon, Newbie and Grads Q&A, Transfer Addiction Personal Accounts, WLS Surgery Relationships, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques for Maintenance, and then the dinner and dance.  I enjoyed the CBT session the best.  There were several people interested in learning more about that program.  Maybe one will get started in Richmond that I can attend.  I had a chance to meet some of the people I’ve “met” on the board and it was so inspiring to see all the progress that people have made since their surgeries.

 Tomorrow I hit the 3-week waiting mark for starting abdominal work.  Because of time constraints and laziness, I haven’t been to the gym.  BUT, I have my bag packed and ready to go and plan on getting a start on that soon.  Honestly, I’ve been so tired in the evenings that I haven’t felt like going.  And then I kept reasoning with myself that I prefer swimming over the treadmill and knew that swimming would use my abs.  Well, no more excuses.  Worst case, I’ll get my lazy bum in there on Saturday and go from there.

 Okay, updates…  I’m down 67lbs.  Only three more to go until I’m out of the 300’s.  That is SO exciting.  Oh and my 32’s were looking baggy, so I went ahead and tried on the size 30’s.  They FIT!!  That was an exciting moment for me.  I’m down two sizes already.  That’s awesome.  I’m very happy.  I haven’t done measurements lately, but know that my tummy/ab area has gone way down because it just doesn’t stick out as much.  My bra situation is becoming a bit alarming.  I’ve already downsized one band size, which thankfully I still had on hand, but I just feel very droopy and moving around too much.  I really need to go bra size shopping this weekend to see if I can adjust to a different cup size or another band size and feel more secure.  I’ve never been perky, but now that they are losing a bit of weight it really lends to the sagging and pore posture that comes with it.  I’ve been noticing that I’m experiencing quite of bit of back pain.  Some day’s unbearable.  I try and adjust my posture when I’m working at my desk, but forget and then notice once I’m slumped forward and hurting again.  I am going to see if I can find of of those posture garments that creates tension and reminds you to sit straight.  There’s bound to be a mail order catalog or online source for something like that.

 I got a three new tops to tide me over for a while.  And I only have one work blazer right now, my old ones were way too big now.  They were big when I first got them and started to just look sloppy so I stopped wearing them.  I really have to get a few things together for donation to the Kathy’s Closet (plus size consignment shop).

 Well, guess that’s all for today…   

 

 

Well the last two weeks of the pureed diet have been challenging, but no problems.  I am happy to report that I haven't been sick to my stomach at all and have not had any problems with any foods I tried so far.  I'm excited to move to the stage one progression diet on Monday.

Right now, my biggest challenges continue to be getting in all my protein grams, making sure to not drink after I eat, taking all of my pills per day and keeping hydrated because I feel thirsty alot.

I had a post-op follow-up appt with the nurse practitioner and nutritionist this past Thursday.  All my lap sites are healing good and my results so far are great!  The nutritionist gave me some very good advice to help my constipation, additional sources of protein to add, how to handle gas and the actual amounts of food I should be consuming now and in the future and my goals of fluid intake for the day.

Since I'm having no complications or nausea from larger sips of water, the nutritionist explained that I can drink 1oz every five minutes to consume about 4oz over 20 minutes.  That is definately more than the sipping I've been doing and has been helping me quench my thirst.

Another thing she requested of me was to raise my daily protein intake from 50 to 60 grams of protein a day.  I wasn't thrilled about that but knowing that the solid foods were coming soon, I know it should be a little easier for me to concentrate on protein through food.  I've been a bit scared of trying pureed meats, so my protein intake through the pureed diet has been very low.  Right now all my protein is coming from the shakes and drinks.

The only other thing she got on me about was not getting in both dosages of the iron.  I hated to admit, but I was even kinda bad about getting in just one of the two dosages per day I was supposed to be getting in.  I kind of justified that I didn't need the iron as much because I don't usually menstrate because I have an IUD.  But she really stressed getting in both dosages.  She even made me a deal that I could continue with the chewable form of calcium (tums) for another month if I promised to get my iron in.  That way I wasn't trying to add too many more pills to the mix.

As far as the calcium pills, I spoke with my pharmacist who suggested that calcium pills can be dissolved into water or an acidic juice like apple or orange juice.  I'm not sure that I can even have apple or orange juice, so I'm considering testing it out with both water and the diet Cranberry juice I can drink.  I'll post later how successful that is.  I REALLY hope it works, because a shot of juice or water with the pills dissolved will be much easier than taking four big horse pills!  Then today I finally filled the prescription for Actigall (for prevention of gall stones) and those capsules are huge too.  I think they might be the biggest I have to take yet!!  GEEZ.  I wish I could find everything I need to take in a chewable form.  I tried crushing pills but just couldn't do it.  I couldn't drink it or even mixed in applesauce I couldn't do it.  YUCK!

Oh, I do have exciting news, I got the okay to get back into the gym.  I'm only allowed to do the treadmill or recumbant bike for right now.  I still need to wait another 2-3 weeks to do any weight lifting, abdominal excercises, or anything that will use my abdominal muscles.  I'm going to start packing my workout bag and head to the gym on the way home each night.  My nutritionists goal was for me to go 3-5 days a week.  I'm going to give it a go and hopefully with time I can get up to going daily.  That was my resolution for this year, to keep up with the exercise part of the program.  I'll never forget what the psychiatrist from my psych evaluation told me when we had our session.  She said to prepare to work my butt off for one year straight.  She said that is your window of opportunity to get the best results from gastric bypass.

So far I have lost 60lbs.  It is very exciting for me and I'm already showing a thinning of my face and I'm down from size 34 to 32 and the 32 is a bit of a loose fit.  :)  My mother bought me a pair of size 30 jeans for Christmas for when I'm ready to get into them.  It's all just so exciting.  I even was able to pull out a few older bras that the band size was a bit smaller.  :)

Well, that's the poop for now...  signing off...

I have alot of catching up to do...I'll start from the beginning...

Monday, The Day of Surgery:
We got the the hospital and it feelt like I waited forever for them to call my name.  I thought I was the first surgery but come to find out I was the second.  Then they did call me in and I found out the first surgery was cancelled and I was pushed up.  They had an awful time puttingmy IV in.  It took four trys and three people to finally get it in.  After a quick goodbye kiss from the hubbykins they wheeled me away.  It was a short trip to the OR and then only a few minutes on the operating room table before I fell asleep and didn't remember anything.

When I woke up I started wiggling my feet, just like they told us to do and the nurse came over and said my family was on it's way.  I was still in the recovery room at that time.  I was a bit groggy and can't remember if it was the nurse or my family who came in shortly after, but someone informed me that there were some complications and the surgery took much longer than expected - 4.5 hours.  Thankfully, they did not have to do an open and were able to complete the procedure laparoscopically.  I got my room assignment and was wheeled away.  I visited with my husband and mother for a while and then rested.  I had some serious pain in my belly and was very bloated.  My belly felt tight and uncomfortable.  I definately used my pain button and was woozy and kinda loopy from it.

After Surgery:
The day after surgery and the day after that went well.  I sipped on little cups of crystal light and had one protein shake on Wednesday.  I was feeling better and was up and walking.  It was a real struggle to get in and out of the bed because of my iv location in my right hand.  I had alot of trouble because that was my dominant hand.  Going to the bathroom was also exhausting becuse I just didn't have that much mobility.  The hospital stay was awful, I had a critical case as a roommate who was constantly attended to and who had many machines beeping all the time.  There was no such thing as sleep while I was in hospital.  Overall what I was most unhappy with was the hospital stay.  Personally I think nursing staff attention and assistance was severly lacking and couldn't fathom why they would have me in a room with another patient who required the level of care that she did.  It was horrible.  I couldn't wait to leave.  On wednesday, my third day in the hospital, since I had gotten enough fluids down, I was released and was so happy about it.  You know that crappy hospital didn't even wheel me down.  I was told to sign some forms and that the doctor would come to see me and after several hours of waiting the nurse informed me that maybe he wouldn't be able to make it and I was free to go.  So I literally walked my self out of the hospital!  It was a long and painful walk.  I waited outside for what seemed like forever for my husband to get the car from the parking deck and navigate back to the hospital entrance to pick me up.  Getting in and out of the car was challenging and painful on my belly.

Tuesday and Wednesday, The first few days home:
Honestly, I was just so damned happy to be home, it took my mind off the pain.  I decided to continue taking the pain meds which definately helped.  Most of my pain was from a tightness in the belly and the bloated gassy feeling.  I started right in on my protein shakes and really struggled to get themdown.  I knew I wasn't taking in enough fluids and just kept trying and trying.  Meanwhile my gas and bloating was getting worse!

Thursday:
Finally the next day I contacted the doctors office and was told I was most likely experiencing lactose intolerance, which I already had prior to surgery.  I thought I was safe mixing my powders with lactaid milk, but come to find out some powders themselves have lactose.  It explained everything that I was feeling. 

Friday:
I was so dissapointed when on Friday I was so in pain and uncomfortable that I could no longer take in any fluids.  It was so painful that I just couldn't do it.  I also had this weird gurgling air bubble sound every time I would take a sip.  I could feel the air going up and down my esophogus.  It was annoying and as much as I wanted to burp it out I never could.  Friday about noon, they told me to come right in.  After a visit with the nurse practioner and my surgeon and a xray I was readmitted into the hospital.  :(  I was so dissapointed.

The Second Hospital Stay:
They had more trouble getting an IV back in.  Another four trys and three people!!  It was horrible.  I was so upset about that.  My arms and hands were all bruised up already from the last four trys on surgery day.  :(  Thankfully I was assigned a private room, and even had a window with a nice view of the city.  It was sweet.  I just walked and read and watched tv for FOUR DAYS.  UGG.  My drain site REALLY skeeved me out and I was terribly uncomfortable sleeping on my back.  I'm a right side sleeper and that's where my drain was.  I was so glad when they finally took out the drain before I left the hospital.  They told me I needed to be able to pass gas, go to the bathroom and take in fluids on my own before they would send me home.  I was SO thankful when they let me out Monday afternoon.

Home Sweet Home, At Last:
The first few days back at home again were agonizing.  I was VERY emotional and really began to question why the heck I had the surgery.  I was so scared that I would feel like crap forever and didn't feel like I was getting any better even though I was already over one week out of surgery.  I told my husband that I was so thankful for him being there for me, because I did not expect to be so imobile and not myself.  I know I just had surgery, but I really thought I would have been in better shape.

The last week has been challenging.  But finally I got fluids in, passed gas and my bowels started moving.  Now I'm having the opposite problem.  I find that certain types of protein make me run to the bathroom too oftern.  After about three or so days I finally woke up and my belly didn't feel tight.  HOORAY!  I was SO excited and that made sleeping so much better.  I have a few lap sites that are irritated and keep those covered with a bandaid.  I'm hoping they continue to improve and see what the doctor says at my followup this Thursday.  I'malready noticing a huge difference in my clothes.  Considering that I've been on all liquids for a month now, that doesn't surprise me.

Christmas Eve - TODAY!:
I'm very excited because today is my first day of pureed foods.  YEAY!!  I'm SOOOO excited.  :)  :)  I got a much of supplies at the grocery store yesterday and have decided to try a few baby foods since they are already pureed and have no added sugars.  We will see how they taste.  I may need to adjust to the suggestions in my handbook and puree up regular foods for taste.  I will have to see how it goes.

So far my biggest challenge has been getting all my pills in and protein in.  Pills are hard for me because I have been told to only do 2-3 pills at a time, 2 to be sure every hour or hour and a half.  When you have to take ump-teen pills per day that makes for alot of remembering and all.  I'm used to downing all my pills at once with a big gulp or two of water and that's just not possible.  I hate that part.  Every time I take a pill with a little sip of water it's like I can feel it hit my stomach and it feels uncomfortable.  Also the protein has been challenging, mainly because I can't seem to get inenough fluids to do the shakes.  One scoop per shake is gritty enough, which means I have to do two shakes per day.  Considering that it takes me nearly four hours to get the whole thing down, it has been hard.  I have tried the 3 oz bullets but that was like drinking syrup.  Yesterday I watered it down with an additional 3 oz of water and that was much better, but I'm finding that the bullets give me the runs.  Someone told me that they have to sip them all day long to avoid that.  I don't know that it's worth it.  I may try them again once I'm on solid foods but for now I think I'm just going to work with the lactose free Isopure powders.  Today, I'm going to try a shake blended with frozen berries for the first time.  I'm looking forward to it!

Well that's a pretty good cathing up post.  More to come as changes happen!