Libbyland
Welcome to my world. My mother tells me that I began gaining weight at about age 5. I'm not sure if it was triggered by anything. I know we moved across town and I had my tonsils/adenoids removed at about that time. Anyway, does it really matter why? I always knew that I was fat. If I didn't remember the world had its ways of reminding me. The first numbers on the scale that I can remember is "136" that was discovered in sixth grade during some kind of class weigh-in. It was just a number to me but my classmates made sure I understood their interpretation of those three numbers. I'm not even sure to this day what a normal weight is for a sixth grader. But I learned it was definitely not 136. Once again dose it matter? It is just a fact marking where I was at that time. At age thirteen my mother decided to go Weight Watchers and so was I. Weight Watchers told us I was too young (you had to be 15) to attend but would let me join with a doctor's excuse. I spent many months thinking about the "illegal" foods I was eating and trying to embrace the positive with "legal" foods. WW continued to drift in and out of my life over the next 30 plus years. When I wanted to take control of my weight WW was always ready to take my money and show me their latest "plan." After a couple years in my first job out of college I decided I was ready to be responsible for my weight. WW layed the path I was able to follow for the next 20 months. Not being one to dwell on numbers I recall being startled to see 368 on the scale at that first meeting. I joined a health club with a friend. We would meet at the club at 5:15am every weekday and swim or ride bike/work the circuit. The lowest I remember the scale creeping down to was 285. That was enough to scare me. "What was I doing? I can't be skinny. I'm a fat person. I won't know who or what to be if I loss too much weight." I forgot to keep going to WW. I got busy enjoying life as a person carrying the belief of being someone with a weight problem as compared to a huge weight problem. Guess what. Oh, you already figured it out. I slowly gained the weight back. Just as easily as the scale crept down it crept right back up but...I caught it before I gain it all back. The next time I thought about the number the scale dealt me it was around 348. "What! I had already left the 300's behind for good several years ago. Who put them back on the scale?" WW here I come. They always great me with joyful smiles and hold my hand as I begin yet another step in my weight loss journey. I was able to make the scale move to 336. I was getting married and wanted to be at least out of the 300's but that didn't happen. Ah, married life.... and "they lived happily ever after." Isn't wonderful how marriage can fill you with a sense of wonder. "I wonder how marriage will solve all my problems? Now that I'm married I don't have to worry about my weight it will solve it self." Right? "What!" Again my beliefs are proven inaccurate. Did you already figure out were I went for help? You got it. I took my checkbook and headed out to find my dear friends at WW. There they were waiting for me. It was like I hadn't even left. Even the "plan" was basically the same. Points, it's all about the points. I made that scale move. I got it to find 299. "Whoohoo." Then it found 328. Then it decided to hang out at the 320's till I took over and made it go into the 310's. Every now and then I'd see a 300 but it was always a very, very brief visit. Anyway, I played around with 310 and 300 for about five years. In January of 2008 something clicked and I knew gastric by pass was for me. I always new it was an option but never felt it was right for me. I began bull dozing my road to bariatric surgery. My husband joined my support team. I spent the next 6 months doing research, attending support groups, meeting surgeons, having medical tests, and then one day after one 2 minute conversation with a receptionist I had my day; the day to mark on my calendar for my surgery. I had RNY on July 2, 2008. And now I begin my journey of weight loss. Before I leave you I'd like to have a moment of silence for my friends at WW. They will continue to need the world's support in order to survive. I know they have a place in this world. They helped me through tough times and always held their door open for me. They are going to have to be strong without me. I know they can do it. A moment of silence please. Thank you. I'll let you know how it's going. Wish me luck.
