Lisa C.
12/28/05- I can't even begin to explain how happy I am right now. I got a call from my new surgeon's office and have begun the process again, for a third time. My DH and I have decided to pay out-of-pocket for the procedure. He came to me and said that he wants me to be happy and feels that having this surgery is necessary for my physical and psychological wellbeing. I just wanted to cry. I had been thinking these things, but had never spoken them. I have the best husband in the world.
When we met I had just broken up with a boyfriend who used to tell me that I was overweight (at the time I was 170 lbs, BMI=27, and would kill to be that size again). He would make me go on these "death march" bike rides that would last all day. Don't get me wrong, I loved to ride my bike, but he would expect me to ride for 40 or 50 miles a day. It was torture! I'd keep telling myself, he's doing this for my own good. I do need to lose weight. After a while I realized that this relationship was very unhealthy and broke up with the guy.
My husband and I met during my brother's bachelor party. He had just gone through a nasty divorce after his wife had left him for another man. Here I was still hurt from my last relationship also. We hit it off perfectly. We were the best thing that could have happened to each other. We were married 9 months later on the island of St. John. 2 weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. We were so happy!
I found out very early in the pregnancy that I needed to be on strong hormones in order to prevent me from having a miscarriage. This medication was horrible! It would make me sick and to top it off I also made me gain weight. I gained over 100 pounds during the pregnancy. I was miserable. My OB kept telling me that after I had the baby that the weight would come off, but it never did. I dieted and excercised, but I never lost the weight. Come to find out I have polycystic overies and that caused the need for the hormones during the pregnancy and the fact I never could lose the weight after I had the baby. My husband always says, "I don't know why you're overweight? You never over eat and the foods you do eat are healthy." I agree! It's the PCO syndrome.
So, now we have a game plan. He's happy for me and I'm just elated. I know things are going to work themselves out now.
1/16/06- Yeah!!! I met the NP at Dr. French's office today, Chris. She was so nice. Everything is completed and all I need to do now is schedule my pre-op and surgery date. I can't believe this is going to happen! It's about time. After meeting with her and going over everything I just wanted to cry. I feel like I have been fighting a never ending battle with doctor's offices, nurses, record keepers, etc...and this was so easy. I feel like calling Dr. Scott and Dr.O'Connell and telling them how easy it was with Surgical Specialists as compared to their programs. I felt like they wanted me to have the surgery, as opposed to other programs where they were looking for reasons to stop the progress of having surgery. It's hard to explain. I guess what I am trying to say is that Dr.French's office was very positive. It is so appreciated at this time.
1/18/06- I can't believe how quick this is going. I guess the old saying, "money talks" is true. Within 48 hours I have met the NP, met my surgeon, got surgical clearance, and scheduled my surgery. It's just crazy! I couldn't get the office staff at the other 2 bariatric surgeons office to call me in 48 hours, muchless do all of this. I can't even describe how excited I am at this point. I've been very sick with an upper respiratory infection for the past week, so I'm a little scared that they may want to push my surgery date back.
1/18/06- It's official....surgery date is Feb.1, 2006! I can't stop crying...I'm so happy!!! My hands are shaking and I feel a little queasy. I can't believe this is going to happen. I have faught for so long for this and my wish is coming true. I will be an average weight again. I don't need to be skinny, I just want to be healthy again.
Now I need to break the news to work that I will need the next 3 weeks off. It's going to be hard. I can see it now, I will be getting all kinds of attitude from my fellow employees. I'm not going to tell them what type of surgery I'm having. It's none of their business. I'm not ashamed of having WLS, in fact I have told all of my friends and family about it...I'm sure they're tired of hearing me talk about it. I just don't think my fellow workers need to know my private business. I'm sure if they did find out they would think that it was "elective" and that I should wait untill things are a little slower at work. For once, I'm doing something for me...I'm going to be selfish.
1/21/06- I have finally broke the news to work. They were not happy about me having to take off for 3 weeks. I'm sorry, but I am doing this for me. I have worked too hard and spent way too much money to feel guilty and not do it. From now on its going to be all about me!!! Especially when it comes to work.
1/24/06- I had my pre-op class yesterday. It was alot of info, and they lost most of the people in the class. I'm just so impressed with the practice, though. I was so surprised when I found out that ALL of the people in the class, 12 of us, were paying out-of-pocket for lap-band surgery! I had all of my questions asked and then some. It was a very informative class. I'm still a little nervous, but I feel good about this. I've been trying to stick to my pre-op diet. I've lost 3 lbs., but I had to get "Cane's" tonight. God, I feel so guilty! I thought about eating it all day today. I hope that that stops once I start losing weight. I hate thinking of food all the time.
1/26/06- OK, it's official, SOMEONE does not want me to have this surgery! I got a call from my surgeon's office today telling me that my white blood cells were elevated (12.3) and that he wants them whithin normal limits by surgery or he's not doing it. Well, my WBC's are NEVER whithin normal limits!!! In my last 4 cbc's my WBC has been (12.3, 12.3, 12.6, 12.0). I told my surgeon that for some reason they have always been slightly elevated my entire adult life. Maybe due to allergies or NSAID use. In order to have surgery, he wants me to find a physician to state that they have been seeing me, I am healthy, and that there is no reason for concern over my elevated WBC's. To top this whole insult off, my PCP never came back after the hurricane. Neither did my OB/GYN or my internist. So, now I'm supposed to find a doctor who has never seen me in my life and get him to write a note to my surgeon stating that I am completely healthy and my bloodwork is not important. And do this before my surgery which is 4 days away!
To top it off, I had a horrible day at work, I got in an argument with my husband, and he comes home to find his dog dead in the yard! (He was sick and old). It has just been a shitty day!
1/27/06- This has just gotten out of control! I went to see an internist today who has seen me once for my sinus infection. She tells me she doesn't feel comfortable stating that I'm "Healthy" and free from infection, so she's sending me to an Infectious Disease doctor. This is all so rediculous! Just because my WBC's are slightly elevated. They are always slightly elevated! She tells me, "now, won't you be thanking me if we find out you have something more serious than just a little sinus infection." Yeah, right! It took everything out of me not to start screaming. My response to this was, "I see what's going on. Everyone is just too afraid to sign anything stating that I'm fine because if something was to happen, I can sue. I know the risks of surgery. And I sign a waiver stating that I know this."
So, I had to sit in the hospital today and have blood tests, blood cultures, urine cultures, x-rays of my head and of my chest taken. After 4 hours of this, I have to go see an infectious disease doctor on Monday. Will he clear me? Probably not. I'm not getting my hopes up. My guess is that much as the surgeon and the internist did, he'll pass me off to someone else. Maybe a hemotologist or an ENT this next time. Who knows...
2/10/06- I should be 9 days post-op right now...but I'm not. I went to see the infectious disease doctor last Monday. He does a thorough exam, orders a bunch of tests that I've never heard of before, then drops the "L" word...leukemia. I lost it right there. I know I don't have leukemia. I'd have to be the fattest person in the world with leukemia.
Well, after 2 weeks of tests (LAP score, ferritin level, abdominal/pelvic ultrasounds and CT scans) everything has come back normal. The ID doctors calls today to tell me he's sending me to a Hematologist. Then he tells me, "Lisa, sometimes people have an elevated WBC count for no reason. They just run in the 12's all the time. It's not extremely elevated, just slightly elevated." It took everything out of me not to scream, "LIKE ME! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU, THE INTERNIST, AND THE SURGEON. I GUESS I NEED ANOTHER DOCTOR TO TELL ME SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW! OH, AND THANKS FOR SCARING THE SH!* OUT OF ME AND MY FAMILY FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS!"
It has been very hard to stay calm through all of this. I have totally blown my pre-surgery diet because I thought that I was seriously ill and for all I knew I'd be on chemo in a few months.
2/22/06- I visited the hemotologist last week. I arrived 1 hour early and was VERY nervous. As usual, something went wrong and the refering physician's office did not get a referal for me. I was rudely told that if I planned to see the physician today that I would have to pay out-of-pocket for the visit. The receptionist then tells me that the visit will be $230. I laughed at her and told her that that was cheap. Speaking of money, lets do the math here:
pre-op testing- $3000
surgery- $12900
misc. doctor's visits- $320
opti-fast, isopure, etc- $250
vitamins, supplements, etc- $200
missed days of work- $900
TOTAL= $17570
Now I feel pretty stupid...that's really quite reasonable when I look at it. I'd pay twice that to be healthy and feel good about myself. Now lets REALLY break it down:
headaches- 114
fits of frustration- 65
days wasted waiting for insurance approval- 150
phone calls made to incompetent staff- 30
pre-surgical seminars I've sat through- 5 (I can teach one now)
doctors I've seen in the last year- 14
TOTAL= One really pissed of woman who's been jerked around for the last year by insurance companies, incompetent nursing staff, doctors, and hospital administrators.
Let's get back to my hemotologist's visit. After looking at my bloodwork he tells me that I'm healthy (other than obesity) and that he sees no reason why I can not have surgery. I wanted to kiss the guy! I must have thanked him 20 times as I was leaving. I was seriously thinking about sending the office flowers when I remembered the $230 office visit fee. Then I thought, screw that!
So, now I'm waiting for the surgeon's office to contact me and tell me when I can reschedule surgery. How long will this take?
3/6/06- It's about time! I finally got a new surgery date today...March 22!!! Now I have to break the news to work...again. I was hard the first time, but now it's going to be even worse. We've lost 4 nurses and are down to 3. I can't worry about that right now. If they tell me no, I'll quit. It's that easy. I can get a job anywhere in this city right now.
3/20/06- It's getting close. I'm getting nervous. I'm a little afraid though. It's finally going to happen! It's kind of sad, but I think I'm more excited about getting off of work more than having the surgery. I really need a vacation! I'm a little worried about being in pain. No one looks forward to being in pain, at least not normal people. I'm also a little worried about anesthesia. It's funny, I put people to sleep everyday and reasure them that they will wake up and even reasure their families, but I'm petrified right now. I look at my daughter and I have this overwhelming feeling of love, happiness, and fright. I'm so afraid something will happen to me or her. She is my life and I don't know what I would do without her.
3/22/06- Had surgery this morning. It is 11:30p.m. and I am very sore. It feels like I have been punched in the stomach a bunch of times and there is a sharp pain in my right shoulder blade. I'd rate the pain a 5 right now. Although it is nothing like the pain I felt when I had to ambulate for the first time after my c-section. I thought I was going to die that day. The whole experience wasn't really that bad. The liquid Lortab is making me a little nauseous, but it is tolerable. My husband, Mark, has been awesome! He's a better nurse than I am...He even helps me get on and off of the toilet!
3/25/06- 3 days post-op and I've lost 7.4 lbs! The pain is practically non-existant. I only feel bad when I try to do to much activity. I'm starving though...it's got to be psychological. I feel as if I could eat a horse. I'm craving meat right now...isn't that funny.
3/27/06- 5 days post-op and I've lost 9.4 lbs! It's weird, but I thought I'd be in alot more discomfort. They make it seem as if everytime you put food in your mouth you'd cramp, bloat, and writh around in pain. I feel great. The only complaint I'd have is that I feel as if I'm starving all the time. I'm starting to crave certain things though...meat, pasta, sweets. I'm sure it's because I'm bored. As much as needed some time off of work, when I'm not working I get very bored...strange. I guess I'll never be happy.
3/29/06- I had my first post-op visit today. I wasn't sure how the NP was going to react to my weightloss. I didn't think I had lost enough, but she said I was right on track. She was very happy with 9 lbs. My first fill is in 4 weeks.
I need to focus on my behavioral changes. I'm starting a food journal and planning a schedule for exercise. I'm hoping these will help keep me on track.
3/30/06- Woke up and got on the scale...11 lbs! I'm so excited. My husband can tell I'm losing in the face. I always gain and lose weight in my face first...it's weird. Two of my incisions look a little red and puffy today. I'm so worried about infection. One of the guys I work with had to have his band removed because of an infection. According to my surgeon (who also happened to be this guy's brother) it has only happened 2 times in his banding career. It still worries me. The sites are still sore, especially the umbilical incision. It may be because the baby keeps kicking me there whenever she gets the chance.
4/4/06- I passed by work today to check my scedule. I had told my boss that I'd be able to come back to work on 4/5. When I got there and looked at the schedule it said I was off till 4/23. They gave me off a whole month! I didn't know what to do. Was it a mistake, or were they being generous? I kind of felt like 2 weeks off was a little short. I feel guilty in a way. My DH told me not to worry about it. It was there mistake. So I'm not sure what I'm going to do just yet.
I've decided to stop getting on the scale every day. I'm going to pick a day and only get on then. I get discouraged when I haven't lost anything after a hard day of dieting. I really need to start exercising. Once I do that the weight will fall off.
4/8/06- My bottom 3 incisions are infected. Not too bad, though. The doctor put me on antibiotics to clear it up. I'm depressed though. It looks like I've gained 2 lbs. How can that be? I guess I need to cut back on my portion size. I'm also going to go to the support group meetings now on Monday nights. I think this will help me keep on my diet.
I am proud of myself. I've seen a huge decrease in my portion size and snacking. Maybe my meals are a little too high in calories right now.
8/12/06- It's been a while since I last posted. I'm doing well. I'm finally starting to see a change in me. I'm not thinking about food all day long like I used to. When I eat the first thing I ask myself is, "Will this pass through or am I going to throw up?" It's true! I now know that there are some things I CAN NOT eat such as grilled pork chops, soft bread, diet soft drinks, and donuts. Yes, I tried to eat a donut...I got 2 bites down and then they came right back up. Talk about painfull! I'm so stupid, about an hour later I tried it again. I got 2 bites down then barely made it to the bathroom. I think it was my "inner fat girl" trying to assert herself. She lost...
DH and I have been talking about having another child soon. I'd love to be close to my goal weight when this happens. I know I'm supposed to wait at leat a year before trying, but I don't want to wait too long. You know I'm not getting any younger.
8/16/06- I decided to put a ticker for my upcoming vacation. I can't wait! 30 days till the Virgin Islands! I need this time off. There is no place on the face of this earth that makes me happier.
I've also decided to purge my profile. I'm going to keep some of it, but I'm going to get rid of alot of the stuff I originally put on my profile last year. I was very angry and bitter. I'm much happier and need to rid myself of this.
9/29/06- Just got back from the Virgin Islands and it was incredible! I've got a great tan and my husband and I may be coming back with one person extra...I think I might be pregnant! It's a few days too early to take a test, but I feel funny. I've been peeing constantly and feel bloated. My boobs don't hurt yet though. Oh well, if I am, I am. If I'm not I've decided to join a gym and really get serious about my exercise program.
10/6/06- Not preggers! I'm a little disappointed, but oh well. I guess this means I have to get serious about exercise now.
I went to get weighed in and a fill today. Lost 8 more lbs! I did find out that I have a hernia though. That has me a little upset. I'm not sure if it was always there, or if it's new. It's not near my incisions. I'm trying to look at the positive. Maybe I can get an abdominoplasty out of this!
10/25/60- I'm doing very well. Having lap-band surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me! I don't snore as much so I'm sleeping better which means I have more energy during the day. It's amazing! I LOVE MY BAND!
In order to keep my sanity I need to plan vacations. I decided that we are going to Disney World in December. I need vacations to look forward to. I actually get depressed if I don't have a vacation to look forward to.
I had to buy some clothes this week. It's getting cold and I have nothing that fits me! I loved being able to look at regular sizes. There are so many options other than really large tent-like shirts and stretch pants. I can't wait to surprise my husband with my new outfits. He's going to love them.
11/02/06- Down 4 more pounds!!! I went in a week early for my fill (due to the fact that a I ate half of a frozen pizza). I wasn't sure how much I had lost, but was pleasantly surprised. I love my band!
Everyone at work has been commenting about my weightloss. No one knows about my surgery, so I just tell them I'm eating better and exercising more. That's all they need to know right now.
11/27/06- Whew! I survived Thanksgiving. I've been dreading this holiday for weeks now. In the past it has been my favorite holiday because of the food and family. Well, things have changed and food is not my #1 priority now. This is not the same for my family, though. My mother and father have planned the menu for a month.
I knew I was going to have to practice an enormous amout of self control at the dinner table. I'm in the process of talking my brother into lap-band surgery. I didn't want him to see me running to the bathroom during dinner because I ate too much. I took a small spoonful of every dish and avoided the meat (my band and meat don't agree sometimes). Everything went down well and I even had room for a small piece of pecan pie. I don't feel like I deprived myself and I felt satisfied after.
I think the best part of Thanksgiving was the fact that I was able to put on a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to get on since before I was married! They fit perfectly and I have to admit I looked great in them. I'm not one for alot of attention, but it was nice to hear my family (especially my brother who doesn't hand out compliments freely) to tell me I was looking good.
On to other news, 11 days till Disney World! I can't wait. I love the place and would live there if I could. My husband is just as excited as I am. My daughter (2 yrs) doesn't remember much from her first trip last year, so I'm looking forward to seeing her face when she sees the castle again.
Also, I'm seriously considering plastic surgery now. I need an abdominoplasty and would love a breast lift. I don't want lipo, but if the surgeon suggests it I'll consider. I've been talking to one of the plastic surgeons that I work with and she gives a nice professional discount to the nurses that work with her. She won't even consider doing the surgery if I'm planning on having another baby. So, we need to have the next baby before I can go to see her. It's a ways off, which gives me some time to save money.
12/08/06- I've lost 64 pounds total so far! I can't believe it! I guess that averages out to 8 lbs. per month.
I've decided to update my picture. I was tired of seeing that fat picture up there. Here's a new one, but it still doesn't look right. I'm not doing something right.
We're leaving for Disney World tomorrow! I can't wait and neither can my DH and DD...write when I get back!
12/28/06- Weighed in today and I've lost 75 lbs total! I'm so happy!!! I now weigh under 200 lbs! I had to get some fluid out of my band today because I was too tight. I lost 28 lbs in 2 months...too much, too fast. I found that I was only eating soup and ice cream. The only things that would go down easily. I knew I was too tight but I liked how the weight was coming off so quickly.
Disney World was wonderful! I didn't want to leave. It was a perfect vacation for my husband, daughter, and I. I can't wait to go back next year!
01/15/07- Well it's been an eventfull New Year already! I had to have my gallbladder removed 2 weeks ago. I was admitted to the hospital with acute cholelithiasis and pancreatitis. I was in so much pain! The doctor had to remove the fluid from my band because I kept vomiting. That was fine with me because I had no appetite and could barely keep water down. So I sat in the hospital for a week not eating and trying to get better. When I was finally discharged the first thing I did when I got home was jump on the scale. I had only lost 5 lbs.! A week of no eating, not even a cracker, and I only lost 5 lbs.! I was a little disappointed, but I had to concentrate on getting better.
My appetite came back with a vengence. I began eating everything in sight. I started cooking everything in the fridge. We even went to restaurants that I knew I wouldn't even attempt to go to when my band was filled. So, I went to my doctor's office yesterday to get my fluid put back in and wouldn't you know I gained 5 lbs.! I don't know why I was surprised. I've been eating like I did before my band. So, I've been partially filled and I can see a huge difference. It's like the flood gates have been closed. I'm just wondering what I'll do when I have to have my fluid out when I get pregnant again!
01/25/07- I'm a little nervous because I go in for a fill tomorrow. I have been so bad lately! We've been eating out almost every night this week. I know I've gained weight...if I didn't I'll be very shocked.
I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I need to get back to work...that hurts just typing it. I've been home now for a month and do nothing but eat and sit on the computer. My eating habits are so much better when I'm at work. I don't snack and I get quite a bit of exercise in during the day. I'm never happy! When I'm at work I want to be home, and when I'm home I want to be at work.
03/10/07- Well, I'm back on track. I've lost the 5 lbs. I gained after gallbladder surgery. My band is filled and I'm now in the gym. I've hired a personal trainer to help me reach my goal weight. I've let the band do all the work so far, now it's time for me to do some work. I've lost 75 lbs. total in a little less than 1 year. That's 62% of the weight I need to lose. I still need to lose another 47 lbs.
03/22/07- It's been one year since I got banded! I've lost 84 lbs. in the first year and I'm 28 lbs. away from my goal weight. I'm so happy and proud of myself! So in one year I've lost 75% of my excess weight. I'm happy with that. That's better than what's advertised as average weight loss for the first year for the band.
More, news....I'm pregnant! We just found out last week. Now the weight loss has to go on hold for a little while and I have to convince myself that it's o.k. to gain a little. Both my DH and I are very happy. We're ready for another bundle of joy in the house...
05/02/07- I'm officially out of the first trimester! I've actually lost 2 pounds since I've found out I was pregnant. I was upset about this, but my OB was not concerned. I've accepted that I will be gaining weight during this pregnancy.
I still have 1.2cc in my band at this point. I'd like to keep it that way for right now. I do not want to have all the fluid taken out. I was out of control in Jan. when I had all my fluid taken out for gallbladder surgery. I gained at least 15lbs in 3 weeks! I can only imagine what damage I'd do in 9 months...
Everything seems to be going well with this pregnancy. We had one U/S at 8 weeks and the baby was developing normally. I'm on hormones agin for this pregnancy, but I don't seem to have all of the side effects as last time. I am a little tired, but nothing like for Marley. I could sleep all day (and did) for that pregnancy. I'm definitely more nauseous for this one. I have horrible bouts of morning sickness and have even thrown up a few times. This worries me sometimes with slippage. I'm not gaining weight like last time (I gained 20lbs in the first trimester). I seem to have more energy this time , too.
We are in the process of selling our house and buying a new one. This whole ordeal has me very worried and confused. I love the house we're in, but it's too small for 4 people. So, we've found a house down the street from my parents that is up for sale. This house needs LOTS of work and updating. It was built in 1981 and has not been touched since then. I don't even think they've painted the walls since '81. It's going to be a big project, but it will pay off in the end. the house is almost 3x's the size of the one we are in now.
5/18/07- It's a boy! We found out yesterday and my DH is so happy. He feels like our family is now complete. I'm just happy that I won't have to get pregnant again! I hate being pregnant. I never want to drink alcohol untill I get pregnant. Between this and the last pregnancy I can think of one alcoholic beverage that I consumed. And that's 2 1/2 years. I swear I've been craving margaritas! Isn't that sad?!!!
I had to go get more fluid out of my band today because I've lost another 2 lbs. I think this is the first time I've ever been upset about losing weight. I just don't want my weight loss to hurt the baby.
10/14/07- So much has happened since I posted last. We finally sold our house and bought a new one. I'm in my last month of pregnancy and have only gained 20 lbs. I am very happy about this.
This pregnancy has been so much easier not being as fat as last time. Last time I weighed 220 lbs. when I got pregnant and weighed 292 when I delivered. I was miserable! I was so swollen and could barely move. I'm so surprised my blood pressure was normal. My DD was even swollen when she was born!
Last time I could only wear flip-flops and a pair of Birkenstocks to work. And that was from the 5 month on...This time I'm in my regular shoes and can work a regular work day without my ankles swelling to the point of pain. I'm not sleeping well because my hips hurt, but at least I'm not experiencing the reflux and carpal tunnel syndrome like last time. I was just so fat and swollen!
The new house is still being worked on and will (hopefully) be finished before the new baby comes. We are living with my parents right now and have (I believe) worn out our welcome. It so hard moving back home after you've been away for so long...with husband and child in tow. I just can't wait to be in my house!
5/15/11- Will be converting to a RNY in 2 weeks. The band slipped in Sept of '08 and now it is leaking. I've gained back all but 25 lbs, so it's time for some changes. I loved my band when it was working! Now that I've hand all these problems, I'm ready for a RNY. Looking forward to being skinny again!!!