Starting over again

Jan 23, 2010

Almost 2 years ago when I wrote my first post I was so excited. I was just a few day's away from "My new life", or so I thought. 
It was really just the beginning of another failed attempt at weight loss. I originally chose the band because I was afraid to go through with the RNY (although in the back of my head I wondered if the band would be enough of a change for me). Everything started off great. Within the first few weeks I had lost just about 30 pounds. I was ecstatic. I hadn't lost that much weight on my own EVER! I exercised and watched what I ate. I was more than ready for a change. I went in for my first fill at my two week check up and the PA said that I was doing an excellent job and to keep up the good work. But it was from that point on that all of the problems started. I started choking on everything "healthy" that I ate (Especially protein) . It would literally get stuck in the top of my throat (and I was chewing everything to mush). So of course I made an appointment to get an adjustment in my band. The PA removed some of the fluid from my band. She said that I had too much. She told me that some people had a harder time finding their "sweet spot". I continued to go for my scheduled fills/ un-fills but continued to have the same problems. Every time I would get a fill it would be too much and I would choke. At one point I had actually aspirated on an extra strength tylenol (that was cut in half BTW) and passed out at work! It is HORRIFYING and embarrassing to wake up on the floor with EMT's, Co-workers, and customers surrounding you. I was absolutely mortified and all I wanted to do was crawl up under something and hide. What made the situation worse was that most of the Co-workers that knew about my surgery were giving me "I told you so" stares when I came back to work the next day (most of them were very opinionated from the start and voiced their "concerns" to me about my choice to have surgery instead of doing it "THE NATURAL WAY") I swear skinny people have no clue, lol.  Any who, It has been 2 years and after the work episode and several failed attempts to reach my sweet spot... I finally had all of the fluid removed from my band and with no tool I quickly ran back to food for comfort and gained all of my weight back (give or take a few pounds). It is January 23rd 2010 and it is two days before my 29th b-day. A few month's ago I received a "congrats on my weight loss" letter in the mail from Barix... They wanted to ket me know that they offered Plastic surgery, ha ha. It was like a slap in the face. Actually, It was more like a wake up call. I decided to call and tell them that I was unhappy with the band and I wanted to know if it was unheard of for a patient to want to change to RNY. The representative was very nice and reassured me that I was not alone. 
That I would be surprised at how many people had similar experiences with the band. She even congratulated me on figuring it out early, ha. From there she started me on the process to convert to a RNY. That was in August 2009. I was finally approved last week and my conversion date is 2/2/2010. I am more than greatful for my second chance. I am so lucky to get another shot at beating this "thing"... this addiction.  I have been reading the blogs on this site and they are all very inspirational. It's so nice to have a place to belong. Where people understand where you are coming from. I need the support very much. I'm ready to be healthy again. No more foot, knee, ankle, and back pain. I'm ready to be able to walk into a regular sized store and not get the stares that remind me that I don't belong. I'm ready to have enough self-confidence to date men who actually treat me the way that I should be treated. I'm ready to get on amusement rides, board airplanes, and sit in my classroom chair with out worrying if I will fit or not. I'm ready for my "second chance". 

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