Liz M.

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I am almost 5 months out of surgery and I have lost 72.4 pounds.  It has been an amazing experience.  I don't think I've had a day that I've regretted my decision to do this.  I feel like I have completely changed.  What I eat has changed.. not just in portion.. but I eat things that are good for me.  I don't exactly follow the rules as strictly as other people.. but what I do works for me.  I make sure that I eat whole grains, good proteins, and when I want something sweet, I usually eat fruit.. or some dark chocolate.  ;) 

I decided early on that I didn't want to feel deprived as far as food went.  I didn't want to say that I "couldn't" eat certain foods.  I choose not to eat foods that aren't good for me.  Not saying that I don't indulge in the occasional bite or two of cake if it's someone's birthday.  But those are special occasions. 

And I exercise more often now.  Before, I still exercised.. but it was so hard.. and I got out of breath so much easier that it was discouraging.  Now.. I'm running in a 5K on Saturday.  I still have a ways to go to get to where I want to be as far as physical fitness.  My goal is to work out 5 times a week to keep toning and trying to tighten up this extra skin.  Then when I'm at goal, to keep exercising at least 3 times a week. 

I feel like my outlook has changed.  I'm beginning to LIKE myself.  To not think of myself as someone disgusting without hope of ever getting out.  I've met someone who makes me happy and who sees me as beautiful, no matter what size I am.  He's actually worried about me losing weight, even though I explained to him about the surgery and how I am eating enough, since I make sure everything I eat is very nutritional.  Not that I'm saying I wasn't happy before I met him.. I was.  It's so great to see my work pay off.. but having him just kind of completes the happiness.  Because it's been so long since I've been in a relationship.  Anyway..

I'm losing at a slow and steady pace.  That's also something I decided early on that I wanted.  I figured if I lost slowly, that I would have more time to exercise and prevent excess skin.  It seems to be working pretty well.  I've been losing about 10 pounds a month since Dec/January.  I had a stall in December, but that's about the time I started exercising more, and I've seen a change.

So yes.. YAY!!!

First entry since surgery.. and it's been almost 3 weeks. **hangs head**  

I'm doing pretty well.  I've lost like 27 pounds so far which is crazy to me.  

Surgery went great.  I got to the hospital at 7:30am and they called me back to start the process at 7:50.  I changed into the gown and got my iv (which they put on the underside of my forearm and if I have the choice, I will always have it there..).  They gave me versed for anxiety while I waited and my family came back.  I was so loopy it was ridiculous.  And the nurse was like.. "the anesthesiologist is going to come in, and he's always good to look at" (because he was going to explain to me about the general anesthesia).  He was a little old for me.. but the guy in the OR was very good looking.  It was hilarious.  He was explaining everything and 1) I was already loopy from the versed and 2) the general anesthesia was kicking in, so all I could do was just grin stupidly at him.  It was great.  

Woke up in recovery and yes, I was in pain, but the nurse was right there, making sure that she kept up on my pain meds and gave me a pillow to put over my stomach (which helped).  Then they moved me into my own private room, which was so wonderful.  I got dilaudid the first day through IV for pain and then after that I took Lortab in pill form (they broke them in half).   The pain level really wasn't that bad.  And I got up and was walking a lot.  I walked 3 times the first day and then like 5-6 times the 2nd and a few times the 3rd day before they discharged me.  

I had my honeymoon phase of no pain for about 6 days when I got home.  I felt great and was very active and walking a lot.  Then the 7th day home hit and I was in some not-so-fun pain that the pain meds didn't really help with.  I guess that's when the muscles decided that they were going to go into overdrive healing mode and so it hurt to sit or stand.  I made the mistake of babying my muscles.  Big mistake!!  It did not get any better.  It wasn't til I started work this monday that it started getting better little by little.  Every day is better than the last.  Because you have to keep working those muscles.  

I got my staples out last Friday and took the steri-strips off on Tuesday night.  All my incisions look pretty good.  The one to the left of my belly button is a little red, but I think that's just because of where it is.  



So all in all, I'm very happy.  I need to do better with my protein and liquid intake, but I think that's also getting better every day. 

Surgery is tomorrow.  I'm pretty excited.. and nervous.  But mostly excited.  I just hope everything goes well.  I'll be in the hospital til Wednesday.


P.S. - Milk of Magnesia is not fun... tastes like liquid baby powder... and then.. well.. buy the good toilet paper...

Alright.  This is day one of the liquid diet before surgery.  I'm so lucky that I don't have to do it for 14 days like some other people do.  Just 2 days.  So I'm sitting at work, drinking my sugar free cherry lemonade (like crystal light, but walmart brand ~> cheaper = YAY!) that I put some "natural" protistat in.  15g of protein per 2 tablespoons.  And it's yummy... But my tummy's already grumbling.  

I'm completely moved out of my apartment as of last night.  That was a job and a half, let me tell you.  I finally got some reinforcements to come in and help me yesterday and I would not have been able to do it without them.  But it's done, and it's clean and hopefully I'll get my deposit back.

So.. I'm working today b/c I took yesterday off to pack and move out.  After work I get to go to Walmart and buy some Milk of Magnesia (yummy) and some Dial soap because they want me to shower down with some Dial.  There was something else I needed, but I can't remember.  

Surgery is the day after tomorrow.  It's starting to hit me.  And I feel good about it.  :)

I have my appointment with the surgeon tomorrow and whatever this bari boot camp is.  So I'll be in the office from 10-2.  I have no idea what to expect, but I'm nervous as hell.  I haven't been doing the best... kinda freaking out and sabotaging myself.  Thinking... man, I really want some ice cream "one last time", etc.  I'm gonna be honest with the surgeon tomorrow and see if that's gonna be a problem.. because they wanted me to be on a low carb diet for like 3-4 weeks before the surgery.. and I was doing really well up til last week, when I had the "last supper" syndrome.. and I seriously like JUMPED in front of the wagon and let it roll over me.  Gotta get myself back in control.  I'm still down 10 pounds from my highest weight.. but I haven't lost from the last time I was at the doctor's, so I hope that's not an issue. 

I have my surgery in 5 days.  I am definitely getting the pre-surgery jitters.  I know that this is the right decision... just... first time surgery and I hope everything goes well..

I got approved today!  I can't believe it.  I posted everything in a forum.. so I don't feel like reposting.  But... I'm so grateful that everything has gone by so quickly.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! 

I'm packing up my apartment, because I'm moving out Oct 5th.  I got down my photo albums and took out pictures to remind myself that I'm going to look good when I'm thinner.  I wonder if that's a common fear.  Fear that you're going to be ugly or funny looking when you lose weight.  I guess it's just that I want so badly to be at a healthy weight where I'm comfortable with myself.. but the part of me that freaks out is thinking of worst case scenarios.  I'm gonna find a scanner and put in these pictures.  Some of them are from my awkward adolescent phase.. but there's one from just after I graduated high school (when I started getting kinda chunky) that I look at now and am like.. "wow.. I actually look pretty in that picture).  I'm sure that when I looked at it right after it was taken I was like.. "eww... I don't like that.. I look fat and ugly).  It's interesting to look back at those times that you felt you were so fat and disgusting and think "I would give anything to be that size again".


But.. getting back to the news.  My surgery is scheduled for October 8th!  18 days away.  I'm not ready for it yet.  But I will be. 

Yesterday was my big day of labs.  I got there at 9:45.  My psych evaluation was at 10:00.  It lasted all of 10 minutes maybe.  Very good.  Dr. Cole just wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing and that I didn't have any problems that should be addressed before I had the surgery.  He gave me the green light-go ahead.  Yes!!

Then I went to get labs drawn.  That was the easiest, least stressful part.

Went up to the 4th floor for my EKG and EGD.  I had to wait a while because the psych eval didn't take that long, and the doctor didn't get in until one.  So I read my book until they called me.  I got changed into my gown, she took my info, got my nifty bracelet.  Then I waited some more, with my book (I don't go anywhere without a book).  The guy got there to do my EKG.  He closed the curtain and had to put the stickies on me.  Let me tell you.  I am a very private person and I don't like people touching me.  Especially now that I've gained all this weight (so for the past 6-7 years).  So having this guy lift up my gown and put the stickies on my stomach was so hard for me... just have to put that out there.  But the EKG came out normal, so that's good.

Then I waited to get taken to the room for my EGD.  This was the part I was the most nervous about.  Something about having a tube down my throat just terrified me.  But I got in the room, they put the oxygen in my nose (which was COLD), the oxygen moniter on my finger, the blood pressure cuff, and sprayed some nasty stuff in my mouth.  And then I woke up back in my little room.  I was a little drugged out (no driving at all that day) and had a sore throat.  But other than that... it was not at all scary.

YAY!!!

Now all I'm waiting for are the lab results and then they send it all off for insurance approval.  wooooo!!

Alright.. I talked to everyone and their brother today.  I finally called the Human Resources department of my work and talked to a benefits specialist.  She called Anthem and made it clear to them that the Psychological Evaluation is "in conjunction with bariatric surgery" and so it should be covered under my health insurance.  And Anthem agreed!!  What the heck??  I've been talking to them for a week and they kept giving me the run around.  Oh well... I called the psychologist's office and told them it was covered and called Anthem just to confirm that it had been noted that the evaluation is covered.  They have it in their system and are going to send me something in paper for me to keep for my records in case anything pops up.  I just hope it stays this way.. $15 copay is a LOT better than $650 in installments.  

**Crosses Fingers**

TOMORROW IS MY NUTRITIONAL SEMINAR!!  and after Friday I just have to wait for everything to be approved by my insurance.  EXCITEMENT!!!  Everything is going by so quickly!!!  Phew.

Yeah.  I have my psych evaluation scheduled for Friday and I've been trying to get a straight answer from my insurance company about whether they are going to cover it.

 - Anthem said that I have to have a psychological evaluation in order for the 
surgery to be covered.

- Then Anthem said that they would not cover the psychological evaluation because my mental health is with "Behavior Medicine Network" (which is on my Anthem card, so I'm assuming they're connected.

- Behavior Medicine Network said that they would not cover it because it was not a mental health issue, but a surgical issue.

So apparently to Anthem the psych evaluation should be covered by my mental health policy and to my mental health policy, the psych evaluation should be covered by Anthem.  I just think that one or the other should cover it because obviously it's one or the other.  C'mon now!

- If I have to pay out of pocket, it's going to be $650.00.  

Good Lord.  Now why would they make a psychological evaluation criteria for coverage if they are not going to cover it.  Makes absolutely no sense.  But I've been reading comments from other people about insurance and the gist I'm getting is that you just have to keep talking to them and wear them down.  So that's the plan.  If not... I guess I'm out $650 because I'm going through with this.  I haven't been happier than I am now in a long time.. and it's because I'm finally doing something to help myself.  So to hell with insurance companies.

Tomorrow will be the 2 week mark of being on the low carb diet.  I started to get frustrated because I didn't lose anything between Tuesday and Friday.  But I stepped on the scale today and I'm down to 244.6.  That's some exciting news.  I've lost 13.4 pounds in 2 weeks.  And I even managed to stay on track at my grandparents' house yesterday.  I went down to visit and they wanted to take me out to Long John Silvers and then kept trying to get me to eat cookies, macaroni salad, chips, and ice cream.  It was crazy.  But I told them that I was ok, and had already eaten.  Because I ate before I went.  And then for dinner my mammaw made roast beef, green beans, mashed potatoes, corn, tomatoes, and texas toast (with sweet potatoes for dessert).  And I DIDN'T eat anything bad.  I ate the roast beef, green beans, and a slice of tomato.  It's silly.. but that felt like a big accomplishment for me.   My family tends to focus on eating food. 

I get to go to my nutritional seminar on Wednesday and then I'm scheduled for my psych evaluation and lab testing (blood work, EKG, and EGD) on Friday.  Then it's submitted to insurance for approval (crosses fingers) and then I get an appointment to talk to the surgeon and the surgery is scheduled for the next week.  OH MY GOSH!  I am so excited/nervous.  I want this to happen.