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Well I'm doing pretty good right now, however I've had some mental issues lately!  Basically, I'm to the point where I'm able to eat more and it's scaring me!  Actually I've stopped eating like a bird and now I'm eating like a regular person and I'm so nervious that I'm going to go back to my old ways and gain this weight back!  But I talked to my weightloss buddy a few weeks ago and she said that's normal.  We're not expected to eat like that for the rest of our lives.  Also, I'm a lot more active now too and they said my metabolism is going up which is causing me to be hungry more. Basically I just have to watch what I eat now and how often I eat.  So that's my next project.  By the way, I'm now down 193lbs!  That's just 7lbs away from my goal of a 200lb loss!

Anyway, I'm doing a lot more exercising.  I walk about 3 miles a day and I'm finally starting Curves today (had to get the money first).  Honestly though, with all that bad things that happened last year, losing weight was the only good thing and I haven't been really enjoying it lately cause I've been so stressed out with life.  But I'm finally taking it all in and acknowledging all that I've accomplished with my weight.  I'm healthier, happier, and sexier...Woohoo!

I still have fat girl mentality though that I'm working on.  You know, when we use to settle for the way people treated us (especially men) because we felt like that's all we deserve cause we're fat.  Ok well at least that's how I felt and still feel I guess, cause I'm letting these dudes walk over me and it's so ridiculous.  Everyone keeps telling me that I don't realize how beautiful I am and that I need to demand more respect.  Oh speaking of which, I've gone back to counseling to help me deal with some of these issues.  I feel like my outside has surpassed my inside and even though I look like a dime piece, I'm feeling like a penny!  So we're working on that as we speak.  I also read this great book called "Why Men Love Bitches"...I love it!  Its not as bad as you may think it is.  It's really informative.

Well I must go...Until next entry!!!

First of all, happy belated new years to everyone.  I hope everyone had a safe new years...I just recently celebrated my one year post-op anniversary and it's hard to believe it's been a year already.  Also happy anniversary to all my friends that are celebrating their first year post-op.

Well new year, new me!  I am proud to anounce that I'm now down 190lbs!  I'm fitting into a size 16 (which has always been my goal) and I'm wearing a 1x!  So I'm more than happy with my weight loss results and I'm trying to lose maybe another 20lbs.  But hey if not, I'm great where I am.

The body is looking pretty good.  I have some sagginess going on, on the lower stomach, upper thighs and a little on my arms but other than that, I'm good.  I've started my membership with Curves so I can get that toned up as much as possible.

Yes, I know I've been neglecting yall and I'm so sorry.  I've been having computer problems and well just drama...

Anyway, I'm happy to announce that I am now down 170lbs!!!  I never, ever thought I would be able to say that.  I love it!  I have so much energy and I look good (don't get mad, I promise the pics are coming).  I'm able to fit in any chair now, even the small theatre seats they have when you go to the plays...yep I fit.  I can cross my legs, and even sit indian style on the floor and still be able to get up!  Matter of fact, a couple of weekends ago, I went on a girls trip and of course we spent all Saturday shopping.  Well I not only was I able to hang all day, but I was walking faster than everyone, even the skinny heffas!  They were all telling me to slow down.  Ha, that was great.  Oh and to go out with the girls and not be the biggest one anymore is the bomb.  But sometimes I forget that I'm not that big anymore.  I only have two complaints.  The first one is that my hair broke off a lot.  I mean I don't look like I'm going bald or anything but its a lot shorter in some places than others.  So I might have to do something about that quickly.  The second and biggest compliant I have is that I'm cold all the time!!!  I mean my god, I get cold to the bone.  It use to be that I was always hot and everyone else was cold.  Now I'm cold when they're not.  I have long sleeve shirts, sweaters, and jackets trying to keep warm.  Now that its actually getting cold, I need to invest in some socks cause my feet are cold all the time.  But that's my only complaint.  Otherwise, I'm doing good and feeling all right.

So Until Next Entry...

I know its been so long since I've updated my blogs.  This has been one crazy summer and I've been so busy.  First of all, I have lost an amazing 146lbs!!!  I'm happy to say that not only will I never be 400lbs again, but now I can say that I'll never be 300lbs again either since I'm not 295lbs!!!  That's like a whole skinny chick!  I'm so excited and I must say, I'm looking good.  I will download some recent pictures soon I promise.  But I've been going out like crazy and getting my dance on.  Also, my social life has boomed tremendously.  

I'm shrinking out of my clothes left and right.  Thank god for Susie's Deal here in Fresno.  Their clothes is like $5.99 a piece so that's helping me out a lot.  I'm also borrowing my friend's clothes that were always smaller than me.  But hey, I'm not really complaining about my clothes being too big because I've never been able to say that before. 

I still need to work on my exercising but I've been going thru a lot and I haven't been feeling like exercising.  However, dancing every weekend at the club is helping me a lot.  My mom keeps telling me that I need to exercise so I won't have saggy skin, but ask me when was the last time she exercised.  I know that sounds mean but its just ironic to me how someone who's not taking their own advice can give it to me so freely.

Well until next entry...

Brace yourself folks, I've lost and amazing 101lbs!!!!  I know, crazy right and I'm only 4 1/2 months post op.  It's so cool because I never thought I would ever lose this much weight.  I use to fantasize about being smaller but I never really believed it would happen.  It's so weird when I look in a mirror because sometimes I see me the way I use to see me and then sometimes I see how much smaller I've gotten.  But they say that we still have on our fat glasses so I guess that's what's going on with me.  Honestly, I never thought I'd be this small and I don't ever remember myself being this small.  It feels great and I still have far to go.  I know I'm losing it slower than other people my size but its ok because I don't care how slowly it comes off, as long as it comes off.

Eating wise, I've been really trying to eat as much protein as possible because my hair is shedding like a dog.  Its so not sexy.  I'm not going bald or anything like that, just enough for me to notice.  I'm also keeping foods down but I just have to pay attention when I'm eating because I talk and eat and before I know it, I've eaten too fast and off to the bathroom I go.

As for exercising, I'm doing a little better.  But I'm not doing nearly what I need to be doing.  Just lazy I tell ya.  

Ok here are a few accomplishments that I'm proud of:

Able to sit in chairs with arms and not be scoozed to death.
Able to fit in a small car like my friends Saturn and Camero.
Able to sit at a booth in a restaurant and not be cut in half by the table.
Getting into a 2x shirt.
Someone who was always smaller than me giving me their clothes. 
Being called skinny more than once by different people (that's a big one because Toya and skinny never went in the same sentence).

I'll have more accomplishments to come.  

Until next entry...

Hey sorry its been so long since I've posted but I've been busy.  Thanks to all the emails I got from my friends.  I'm doing pretty good right now.  I'm doing pretty good with the eating now.  I hardly ever throw up anymore.  If I do, its because I wasn't paying attention and ate too fast.  I am now down 85lbs and it feels weird.  Because I don't remember being this size before.  For as long as I can remember, I've been a size 26 and larger so to now being between a 24/22 feels crazy.  Everyone is telling  me how small I'm getting and how young I look.  I must admit, I love it.

Speaking of which, my social life is boomin right now.  I thought I got a lot of male attention before I lost some weight, now its just ridiculous and I love it!  But I'm still single people.  Why settle down now, I'm having too much fun.

Ok, now that eating is no longer an addiction for me, my weak will power is now looking for something else to fill that void and if I'm not careful, shopping may be that something!  I made the mistake of going into Lane Bryant to get an outfit for an event and once I tried on those clothes and not only did they fit but looked good on me, I was hooked! I had to talk myself out of buying up the store.  So right now I'm just buying enough to get me by until I hit the next size.

 Now here's the bad news, my exercising routine is non-existing right now and I'm so ashamed.  So now I've found my motivation, the beginnings of saggy skin!  Yes its true, I'm getting a little saggy in the infamous 3 places (inner thigh, lower stomach, and upper arms).  So te word of the day is toning people!  I'm about to get my tone on.  

Until next entry....

Well I'm at work with a little down time so I thought I would update everyone on how I'm doing...

I'm down 56lbs!  Woo Hoo!!!  I'm almost at a 60lb lost and it hasn't been two months yet.  I'm excited although I'm still having a little trouble seeing it but I knew that was going to happen. I have started walking which I think is helping me lose more.  I use to walk before I had the surgery and I can see the difference in walking now as compared to before I lost some weight.  My back doesn't hurt when I walk for a while and I don't feel like I'm dying after walking anymore.  I wish I could aford to go to a gym and workout there but its not possible right now.  So I've been trying to exercise at home.  I got the areobics thing down, I just have to work on toning.  I've been real bad at that lately and I know I don't want saggy skin, so I better get on it now.

As for eating, that's another story.  I'm still throwing up and I just can't seem to figure this eating thing out.  I don't know how slow is slow enough, how much food is enough, and what am I suppose to be eating.  I want to do right but its hard when I don't know what right is.  So my goal for this month is to find out what I should be eating now and what the right portion size is for me.  Other than that, I'm doing ok.

Until Next Time...

Wow, its been a long time since I've updated my blog.  Well since I've been back to work (and having internet problems) I haven't had too much time.  Sorry about that....

Well as of this morning, I have lost a total of 46lbs!!!!  Finally I'm seeing some progress.  Since I had Presidence Day off this past Monday, I went through my old "I'm going to get back down to this" clothes to see what I can wear and I've found some things that I use to couldn't fit that now fit me!  Lets just say that was fun to do.  I can't wait until I can afford to go shopping.  Right now, I have jeans from sizes 30 down to a 24 that I'm trying on.  The 30's are getting way too baggy, 28's are ok but their a little baggy too and the 24's I can get them on, but their still a little too tight.  So I'm probably a 26 which is cool cause I haven't been a 26 in years.

As for eating, things are really getting better.  I'm still testing the waters to see what I can eat and how much of it I can eat before I get full.  I am still throwing up but it's not everyday and its getting a lot eaiser to deal with.  Honestly though, I think I need to see a nutrionist because I'm not sure what I'm suppose to be eating right now.  I usually eat what stays down and taste good.  I mostly eat a lot of meat because I know that I need protein and since my doctor said not to drink protein shakes, I'm trying to get it from my food.

I have began exercising because I have more energy now.  I notice when I take the stairs at work or climb the stairs to my apt, I'm not as winded as I use to be.  I've started walking and yesterday I started some body toning.  I'm doing it at home because I just can't afford a gym membership right now.  Everyone keeps telling me that they can see the weight loss especially in my face.  I think I've finally reached the point where I'm happy that I had the surgery.  Because I was hating all this a few weeks ago.  Well gotta go...

Until next time...

Well things are getting better food wise, but the weight loss is going really slowly. Don't get me wrong, the slower the less chance I'll have for getting saggy skin. But this is ridiculous. Ok maybe I'm at a plateu or maybe I need to exercise more. I'll figure it out. 

As for eating, I'm doing better. I'm treating it like a game. I get it in my mind that I want to try something, then I try it and see if it stays down. If it does, I put it on my "Can Eat" list. If it doesn't, I put it on my "Try Again Another Day" list. Then I'll try it again and if it still doesn't stay down, I put it on my "Can't Eat" list. I know this may not be the best way to do things, but hey I need something right now. Besides, it working fine for me so I'm going to ride this on out. 

I went back to work this past Monday and it's been a long week. Other than the fact that I get tired during the day, it's great being back at work. I'm not bored anymore and everyone keeps saying how good I look. I'm loving being the center of attention. Well until next time...

Well I went to my first post-op dr. appt. and I had lost 29lbs.  As of today, I've lost 31lbs.  It's crazy because my jeans are lose on me and they're the stretch jeans.  Also, now I've upgraded to soft foods but the funny thing is that I have to make myself eat cause I'm never hungry.  I just got my vitamins today so hopefully that will raise my energy level because as of now, it's pretty low.  I sleep a lot and when I do, do any type of activity, I'm exhausted afterwards.  So hopefully in a couple of days, the vitamins will take affect.  I need more energy so I can step up my exercise game because lord knows i don't want the saggy skin thing happening.  I'm way too cute for that.

Things are going ok.  I'm not too depressed anymore.  I'm not craving food too much anymore although I can sure go for some chicken right now.  Sleeping has gotten a lot better.  I am experiencing back pain though when I lay a certain way.  So I've gotten some tylenol for that.  I think the hard part is going to be introducing different foods back into my system.  Right now I'm eating mashed potatoes and pudding.  Tomorrow I'm going to try cream of wheat for breakfast.  Next week I'll be able to have meat.  Chicken, here I come.

Until Next Time....