Future Legend

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Been a long time since I've hung out here.  I've been up and down, in and out.. lots of changes in my life.  I've managed to eat my way back up to 245.... and I've had enough!  I wish I could have been in the >1% of folks who can lose an exhorbitant amount of weight through diet and exercise and keep it off, but I'm not...................   and I started my journey for WLS about 5 months ago.

My first trip was a visit to Dr. Chasen -  it was a good visit..  he seems like a good guy.. young, energetic, positive.  He didn't say yes, didn't say no....  just... started.

My insurance company requires 6 months of a medically supervised diet.... so I found a doctor and started.  The surgeon's office said they don't schedule anything until you've gone through 4 months... so I did my 4 months and made a phone call to ask... "Ok.. what next".

June 8 - sleep study
June 13 - nutritional class... I found it tough to sit through those 3 hours.. was supposed to be like an hour and a half... walked out of there feeling like someone kicked me from head to toe.
June 17 - endoscopy

yet to come

June 23 -
  1.  5th visit for medically supervised diet
  2.  3 hour uh.. seminar?  Class?  at the hospital

July 11 -  Psche evaluation
July 14 - visit with sleep specialist


I'm on my second week of chantix -  no quit/no surgery - so I'm working on that.  I'd hate to go through all of this and NOT be able to give up cigs!  I've leaned on them WAY too long as it is!

Be blessed folks!
Lori

Ok.. did it again..  Last week I had gone back up to 224..  today I'm back down to 212.4.

I have the feeling that this as far as I'll be able to go.

I guess I won't stop trying, but I gotta start living sometime - and I can't keep hoping anymore.

Still plugging along here.

CW.. 209.6

I've been attempting a fat fast for the last three days.... today is day 4.  Workouts are still hi energy.  I've been trying to get in 3 hours 3 x a week and 2 hours 3 x  week with one day off. 

I'm waiting for test results so see if there's a medical reason why I can work out more calories than I take in and not lose weight.

Well.. it took three weeks to dump the fluid... and I had actually hit 205 for about 30 seconds.

Within days of hitting it and hoping that finally I'd be heading towards onederland, I'm went back up to 218.  No human being can gain that much weight overnight.

Two days ago I had the ultimate shocker.. I went to sleep at like 213, and woke up expecting 216 (I know I'm on a fluid up), but it was 218 and change. 

No sense in blowing a hissy fit over it anymore.

I'll be driving to Florida to see my doctor this week - needing some answers.

I will not give up... I will not give in.  Quality of life is my ultimate goal and I'm going to get there.

Today I weighed in at 214 and change this morning.  We'll see what happens.

Wow.. it's been a pretty wild year!  I sit here, in the same spot I sat last year at this time while boo hoo'ing to anyone who would listen in the non-op forum about how I couldn't lose an ounce.

This year I sit in this VERY same spot.. taking up one whole hell of lot less room... having to REACH for the keyboard... thanking everyone in the non-op forum for their patience, kindness, understanding, willingness to motivate, ability to put me in my place when necessary and ignore my rants!  LOL  Good peeps!! 

I've been up and down for months.  The diet has been pretty well spot on with the exception of an occasional indiscretion caused by utter frustration.  I truly am not hungry.. I truly am not craving a darned thing that I'm not supposed to eat - but when the going gets tough.. the tough blame themselves and punish themselves with chocolate (or whatever).  I got angry.. but didn't give in.  I decided to shake things up a bit.

For two weeks I backed off the gym going only 3 x a week and limited my cardio to at MOST an hour with an hour of weights.  I stopped taking all medication except lasix and potassium on a regular basis.  When absolutely necessary I take something for pain so I can move.. otherwise there have just been a lot of owwwwies.. lol.  I can take it!  lol

Today .. after bouncing back up to 222.. down to 210.. up to 221.. down to 215.... I finally saw 207.4 on the scale.  Maybe a good shake up is what I needed!

So right at this moment, I am 27.4 lbs from my original goal of 180 lbs.  I think that's a realistic goal even though I'm having a hard time getting there.  If I would have said 160, I would have expected to be slapped upside the head.... but for once.. I was "reasonable" and "moderate" in my thinking.

Why I still feel so huge is beyond me.  I still feel people looking at me which is something I'm going to have to deal with... well.. me and my shrink!  LOLOLOL  (Mostly my shrink.. he can take what I don't want)!  lol

So it's another day in paradise... and I'm going to keep on doing my do and pushing and pulling and praying. 

ONE YEAR LATER
115 LBS LESS
AMEN

God bless you all!
Lori

Alrighty.....  yesterday I hit my high at 222 lbs.   This morning I got on the scale to 216.4..  this evening it's down to 215.. the fluid must be letting go.  Amen.

I'm being really careful about what I eat.. hitting the gym twice a day for a total of about 3 hours on most days.  I took today completely off.

Just gotta keep doing the do and see where it goes.  All I know is that I was so close to onederland that I could taste it.. so this kinda sucks BIG time!

In a matter of a week and a half back in SC, I put on 17 lbs.  I know it's fluid (I know it), but it still pisses me off to no end.

Today I'm back down to 209.

My sister's funeral is Monday.

I'm back in SC and getting the do done once again.  

I got on the scale yesterday... 204.  So the weight isn't flying off anymore, but it is still coming off despite the fact that I haven't been engaging properly in the exercise I had become accustomed to... and my diet wasn't spot on.

I'm back at it now.  Tomorrow I'll be back at the gym.. on the treadmill.. doing the do. 

I'm doing the things that I don't want to do lately, and I'm getting some fight back in me.

For the last couple of nights, I've taken a few bites of chocolate cake.....I have NO CLUE why I did that.  I know I don't want it.. I know it's like pumping poison into me......................................... but I did it.

This morning I started off with 2 eggs scrambled w/a touch of half and half and I'm already on my second pot of coffee.

My sister is getting a reaction to the chemo.... so the nasties started early.

Her daughter will stay while I run to the doc's to see what this huge bump is on the side of my chin... it's like the size of a golfball (I think it's a spider bite)...

WELL.. welcome to NJ once again!!!!

I'll get back on track.... I've worked too hard to let this go .....

God Bless you all!
Lori

It's definitely a Crosby, Stills & Nash Day....  (wishin' so badly that I had one of my guitars with me)

It's chilly for the middle of May in NJ..... I remember I'd be begging to go swimming by now when I was a kid.... now I'm wrapped in my sweater turning my collar to the wind......

So let's go with CATHEDRAL today... shall we?

6:00 in the morning.. feel pretty good
 so I stopped into the luxury of  the lourdes
   fighting dragons and crossing swords
     with the people against the hoards who came to conquer

7:00 in the morning, here it comes 
  I taste the warning
and I'm so amazed I'm here today
seeing things so clear this way
in the garden on my way to stonehedge...................................................

"I'M FLYING IN WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL
SUNLIGHT POURING THROUGH THE BREAK OF DAY
STUMBLE THROUGH THE DOOR AND INTO THE CHAMBER"

there's a lady selling flowers on a table... covered lace
and a cleaner in the distance finds a cobweb on a face
and a feeling deep inside of me tells me this can't be the place

"I'M FLYING IN WINCHESTER CATHEDRAL
ALL RELIGION HAS TO HAVE IT'S DAY
EXPRESSIONS ON THE FACE OF THE SAVIOR
MADE ME SAY................................ I CAN'T STAY"

OPEN UP the gates of the church and let me out of here
too many people have LIED IN THE NAME OF CHRIST
for anyone to heed the call

too many people have died in the name of Christ 
that I can't believe it all

Now I'm standing on the grave of a soldier who died in 1799
and the day he died it was a birthday and I noticed it was mine
and my head didn't know just who I was and I went spinning back in time

AND I AM HIGH.. UPON THE ALTAR... HIGH UPON THE ALTAR



Other than a little music.. just praising the Lord for another day....