lynnk
I am just starting the journey to WLS, hoping to have surgery in April. I have 5 kids-all grown up except my youngest son who is 10. I am currently going to school to become a Medical Lab Tech-it was about time I figured out what I wanted to be when I grow up. Being a single mom, in school and trying to work full time is my crazy existance, but every day is an adventure.
So, I met with the bariatric nurse from Park Nicollet yesterday, had my preliminary go thru, and set up my psych test for next Monday, the 24th. I will have a four hour appointment next Friday the 28th, where I will meet with the dietician, nurse, and psych. I have my psych follow up on Feb 4th. I was surprised that I was able to get everything set up so quickly. I am hoping to get the surgery in April, after my finals are done. All of a sudden it's real, not just a thought. kinda scarey, but exciting to think I am really gonna do it. I will be fat for my daughter's wedding on Feb. 8, but after that, look out world!
midnight 1/23/05
Can't sleep-worrying about the psych test tomorrow, and thinking about my daughter getting married in 3 weeks. I am going to be huge at her wedding-told her I will have all the 'before' pics taken at her wedding. I hurt all over-we had about 8 inches of snow this weekend, and even with a snow blower, it was more than I usually can do-I am having to be honest with myself about how much this weight affects my whole life, and how I have stopped doing so many things because I hurt so bad. I can't even keep my house clean because my back and feet hurt after standing or vacuming or lifting.....I just want to lay down and die after trying to get one room clean. I huff and puff just walking from the parking lot to my suite at work, and it hurts my hips and knees to sit in a chair all day, even with frequent ups and downs. It doesn't feel like it happened gradually, though it did, but it seems as if just one day I woke up and couldn't walk anymore, and standing hurt my back. I really want to get the surgery done and start getting free of such pain-I am actually dreaming of being able to walk and run again, and being able to play with my son. I hope my process goes smoothly for my approval. I am at the point where I would even quit school mid-quarter if I got an approval, because nothing is as important as getting well. My son has been worried about me getting the surgery, so tonight I logged on and he read some profiles and some of the postings, then turned to me and said, "Mom, I really want you to do this so you can feel better." He is begining to realize that there is a lot of things we could do together if my weight weren't in the way. For now, the best I can do is go to sleep and dream of that (hopefully) not to distant day when I can do what I want to do, and my body will go along and not complain!
1/25/05
So the psych test is over....that wasn't such a big deal-the clinic has it in a computer program, so it was click-click-click and done in about an hour and a half. Friday I go back for the 4 hour visit-PT, dietician, psychologist, MD? I look forward to getting through it all and getting the process on the road. School is going fairly well, but I have a hard time concentrating because I think about this surgery nearly all the time. Gotta get that under control! Wouldn't do to lose concentration while practicing blood draws or playing with live bacterias...heh heh heh!!! The other thing on my mind is this upcoming wedding of my daughters-geez it's coming up fast! Hard to think that my baby girl is old enough to do this.
Saw her in her dress Sunday and almost cried she is so beautiful!!!
1/26/05
I went to my first Renewal last night. It was very interesting, and I am glad I went. I was suprised how many people were there, and the nice thing was how supportive the group really was. I hate going around and around Abbott-NW hospital though!! One way streets, what a pain. I am hurting pretty bad today because after the meeting I was walking out and hit a patch of ice, went SPLAT. Thank goodness there were people behind me who helped me up. Falling is one of my biggest fears-I take stairs slowly, or not at all. I can't see my feet, and there is so much weight on my tummy that I don't have good balance anymore. I WANT TO GET THIS WEIGHT OFF!! I am at the point where I am willing to do the liquid diet (pre-op) until I can get surgery, even though everyone says it's pretty nasty. I don't care, I just need to get this OFF. Two more days and I can meet with the dietician, PT, and psych. It's something to look forward to, anyway.....
1/28/04
This morning was the 4 hour visit at Park Nicollet to see the Psych, dietician, PT, and MD. Can I just say that I have been very impressed with their program? It was enlightening to see the PT-we did some walking, and I can get my heart rate up just moseying down the hall-the thing that stops me is the pain in my heel, or in my back. I will have to find ways to become more active. The really depressing part of my visit was weight-I am at 359.5 lbs. My heaviest ever. It's depressing. No wonder I feel like a stuffed sausage-I have been putting on pounds for the last month, and I have to stop it. I am going to try some of the dieticians suggestions, and start working on the exercise. Goodbye McFat and Burger Tyrant!! I have been working on sipping water all day to see if I can get in enough, and I am surprised at how long it takes to get a liter of water down in sips-I can do 2 liters in an 8 hour work day. Thats roughly 65 oz, which is good, but I know I will need to do that consistantly, whether I am nauseated or not. I see now where some people struggle. I am also trying to chew to applesauce consistancy-boy is that a challange! I am obviously used to gulping big bites! I was surprised at how fast I was eating. Now that I am thinking about it, I hope to get better.
Next week I go back for the rest of my psych consult-then my papers can go to the insurance company. Yay-I feel like things are finally moving!
2/13/05
Whew!! the psych eval and the wedding are all over. I caught some virus and have been laid out all week-faked wellness for the wedding, but stayed home from work until Friday. Called the temp agency I work for and told them I am quitting this position-have been there for almost a year, don't want to be hired, and don't want to do the scut work they are giving me now. So Friday is my last day. EEEkk....good thing taxes came back. Hopefully I will come up with something soon.
The psych eval went okay-she is going to sent in my approval request. She had some questions about the depression problem, and we talked about my meds and how long I have taken them. I am not that worried-I am in touch with my shrink every 3 months, and can notify him immediately if there is a problem. I guess depressed people often have a tough time with the changes the surgery demands. I don't really think that will be me, but I will be on my toes, anyway. At least I know the paperwork is going in to the insurance-pretty soon I can set a date!!!! whooo-hooooo!
2/21/2005
Sure, that paperwork is going right in to the insurance.....got a call today from the Bariatric Nurse and he said I need a letter from the psychiatrist I see for my depression meds, just to back up what the psych found on my depression, so I am considered a little higher risk patient. grrrrr....I wish she had told me I would need a letter when I saw her, I saw the shrink the following week. I called and left a message for him at his office, but he is not in until Weds. wah. I just want this to get to the insurance so I can get approved. ((breathe...just BREATHE)) I have been on Prozac for 2 years, don't think it's gonna be that big a deal to have surgery. The shrink said he isn't worried about it when I saw him. Well, that means he shouldn't have a problem writing that letter! In the meantime, I am dragging through school, and I am now in between temp jobs. I won't even look for a 'real' job- I have given up with trying to land something that I don't even want. At least temping gives me a paycheck and I can leave an assingment if it's wrong for me. Not what I want forever, but it works for going to school. I can take of time when I need to, because I don't have the whole vacation days thing-but any time I take off will be unpaid. Hope I don't need 6 weeks off for the surgery.....
3/16/05
I am approved!!!! I checked my cell phone and the nurse had called this afternoon and left a message that the ins co approved me and we can get things rolling.....I am sooo EXCITED!!! I am hoping I can still get a date in May-late April if I am lucky. Have to wait for finals to be over then I can jump on over to the losing side!!!! I don't think I will be sleeping tonight, just way to excited and happy that I am finally over that bridge and ready to jump on a date. I wish I could call the doc office right now and set a date. Kurt (the nurse) said that the surgeon consults were going into April when I talked to him 2 weeks ago. I hope they still have room for me!
3/17/05
I made my appointment with Dr. Svendson at Methodist Hospital for a surgery consult. I will see him on March 30. Have to have a gallbladder appt to make sure I have no stones and can keep it-with my luck I will have stones and they will have to take it out. Either way, I don't care-I am gonna have WLS finally-it's REALLY gonna happen. I am not working right now, again. The temp agency sent me to a job doing assembly, said it was mostly sitting down, but the gal in charge had me packing boxes and drilling pipes on the drill press and after 2 days of that, I couldn't stand the pain-called in and told them it was just too much for my back and feet. So jobless again. I don't know if the agency is gonna really look for anything for me at this point. I am really scared that I will not be able to work until I lose some weight, because I hurt so bad most days that it is an effort to get out of bed. It is supposed to snow a lot tonight-I am praying that it doesn't hit too hard here-I am in no shape to shovel, and I don't own a snowblower! It is really sad that I am at this point.
I did get a membership at the YMCA and have been going every week to walk in the pool-it's easier on my back than walking the track. I have gone on the recumbant bikes, too-I can only last about 7 minutes on the lowest setting-and my knees hit my panny the whole time. not amusing. I have to get more exercise, but I hurt pretty bad, especially when I have my period-my back feels like a spring wound tight and waiting to sproing out. I just keep trying. I try to remember to stretch and bend a little every day-it's supposed to help with all the stiffness. I have never gone to the doctor and complained about all the pain-just taken plenty of ibuprofen and kept going. Now I can't take the ibuprofen, so I really feel the pain! It will all be in the past in just a few more months. it's really gonna happen for me!!!
3/22/05
Well, I have an appt for the Gallbladder ultrasound day after tomorrow in the morning-yay, one more thing to check off my little list! Still no job forthcoming from the temp agency...just as well as it is spring break for my son, so we are hanging out together this week-I still have school at night on Monday and Thursday, but his dad takes him then. Went to the Y again today and walked in the pool for about 20 minutes, also did about 15 minutes of pool aerobics. It feels good to be moving, but the aerobic part is hardly there. I think it is more just movement and stretching. The stupid thing that bothers me is that my fat arms rub against the fabric of my swimsuit and get irritated when I swing my arms in the pool. I may have to start wearing a t-shirt so that my armpits are not worn out. sheesh. It seems like every day there is another thing that I notice about my weight and how it affects my life. I can hardly wait to start seeing how losing weight affects my life!!!
It is really amazing how many things I have just put up with or accepted, that I don't have any patience for anymore. I have to sit down and write out my personal list of reasons why I want to lose 100 (actually, 200) pounds. There are some silly sounding things that would really make all the difference in a day!
3/30/05
I HAVE A DATE!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME!
I will be having surgery at Methodist Hospital on May 10, first thing in the morning (whoa, I gotta be there at 5:30am!) I met Dr. Svendson and had to laugh-he is awarding me the prize for the day for bringing in a new diet he'd never heard of in my history-Hot water, fresh-squeezed lemon, maple syrup and as much Cayenne pepper as you can stand, mixed together and drank as much as you want all day-and that is all. No food. no vitamins. nada. I was on that diet for 32 days, lost 50lbs, gained it all back within about 5 months and then some more. STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!! He told me that obviously my problem was not willpower, since I could live through that. His nurse, Barb, had me in stiches-she is so funny, and has her own stories about her WLS experience. I am set-I have my instructions, my prescriptions, my 'bariatric bible' (guidebook), my date, my dietician appt....now I just have to wait for the next 6 weeks!!
4/10/05
Make that "wait for the next 6 weeks AND STAY HEALTHY" I have been plagued by an ear infection that just won't go away-and this past week it became so inflamed and swollen that I couldn't even chew. Went to the Dr. Wednsday and she put me on yet another antibiotic, and sent me to get an MRI on Friday. OMG-can I tell you that was the most mortifying experience of my life? I was sent to a regular MRI clinic, not open, so they had to jam me into the tube so tight to get the scan, my hands were completely numb the whole time from the pressure of my big body being sqeezed into that little tube. They would not have been able to do it at all if they needed any other part of me done, there is no way I would have fit. I don't have results yet-hopefully I have just a ton of fluid in my ear that is causing the ringing/deafness, not a tumor or something else nasty.
I am applying for welfare tomorrow-I have not had a job since Feb 15, and the temp agency is not calling me or sending me out on anything-everytime I call I get the run around about how there just isn't anything available. Hmm....there were jobs available until they sent me on an assembly assignment and after 2 days I told them I could not work that physical of a job. Now they don't want to send me anywhere. My weight has made it just about impossible to do anything-even sitting at my computer for an hour makes me ache all over. Exactly one more month for surgery-I hope it goes fast!!!
4/14/05
Well, welfare will help me with food stamps but not money-my child support is more than what they would allow. Still don't have the food stamps, there are some things that they are waiting to have sent back from the temp agency and my landlord. Still no calls for jobs-augh! I have 3 dollars in my checking account right now. Hopefully something will come up. At least the MRI came back showing that I do not have a tumor or anything-it was an infection of the mastoid bone (behind the ear) and the soft tissue of my jaw. The Cipro and Z-pack did the trick, and I am feeling so much better. Tonight was the last night of classes, next Monday and Tuesday I have finals, and then I don't go back to school until August. Yippee! I have so much to do before then-WLS, moving, adjusting my eating habits, getting a job....I just hope I don't have any problems after surgery. There are some people who have had some pretty severe problems, and I don't want to be in that catagory. Next week will be the last full week of eating food, then I will start the pre-op liquid diet. My date is coming up quick-I don't feel scared, just excited to have my life change. I hope I am ready for the ride.
4/23/05
Wow, meant to get back here and post this week, but then kept finding other things to do. Went back to the Doc on Monday because my jaw/ear was hurting again, so am on yet another round of antibiotics to clear up the bone infection-she figures we just didn't get it wiped out enough the last time. It feels better now, still have another week of antibiotics to go. Had my nutritionist preop on 4/21, ended up taking my son with me. It was surprising how much he knew-obviously he has been reading over my shoulder and listening to me talk, because he is pretty informed about the eating. Blew him away when she showed him a golf ball and said that's how big my pouch would be, and that right now it's about as big as a football. yikes! He was guessing that I weighed about 400 lbs, so that was a little sobering. My daughter Nani called tonight-she just got back to Hawaii (home for her) from basic training, and saw the pictures from Kahea's wedding-and she said she was shocked at how big I had gotten, especially my face had gotten so fat. She is so glad I am having surgery to get this weight off me. I told her it wasn't gonna be easy, but I was gonna try my hardest to be sure it ALL COMES OFF. I got a treadmill this week (used, but it works) and it is in my living room. Have to stock up on Carnation Instant Breakfast. I am supposed to start the liquids on Saturday the 30th, but I think I am gonna start sooner. I am actually feeling like I am done with eating so much. I am glad I have to do the liquids, I think it puts your head in a better place. The hard part is I will still have to cook for my son, even though I can't eat (argh!!) I can do this. I have to do this.
Today was the Final Fatty Feast for myself and 3 other gals who are having surgery soon-Gwen and I have the same surgeon, I go first, then she goes. Christine will have Dr Jones. The 3 of us are all at Methodist on the 10th. I have a feeling once we start cruising the halls together they are gonna be itching to throw us out of there-we have so much fun together. What was fabulous, was that there were almost 40 people there from the MN OH board, who came to support us and wish us well. It was the greatest. I really have come to depend on the OH board for the friends and support I have found here. Okay, sometimes the info isn't right-so I believe in going to the Dr or Dietician and making sure I know what I am doing, but there is so much love and support here that I really feel like I have made hundreds of friends. Renewal at Abbot-NW hospital on Tuesdays is the other side of the support group-many of them are regulars on the OH board, so it's like being with family. That means so much to me, since I really don't have much family around here. Jennifer P in Burnsville has been a good friend, I am so glad to have got to know her. She has been having some issues with her pouch-it's pretty sensitive, but she has stayed in touch, and I know she will be there for me. I can't believe it's coming up so soon. Glad that the school term is over-I got A's in both my classes, so I am still holding a 4.0 (yay for me!) I won't be taking classes this summer-waiting for fall term then I will be back in the swing of things. I want to get through this schooling and get my degree so bad! To have a decent job that pays well will be the greatest reward, and to know I earned my degree will make me so much more self confident. Add being a normal weight to that and I just might be unstopable!
4/29/05
Well, it's the night before the liquid fast begins. I 'practiced' this week, pretty much on the fast from Tuesday, but went off today and had a subway sandwich, and some nachos-bye bye, food I love!
The only thing about the liquids that I noticed is that I am so cold-the weather has been very chilly and drinking all that water and milk just makes me cold. gonna have to do some hot tea-so off to the store in the morning for some herbal tea. I hope the weather gets warmer soon-it's that cold wet chilly stuff that just seeps into your bones. Gonna take a good long hot soak (as much of me as I can fit in my tub) and get into bed. Got a new CPAP mask that fits much better and my ear is finally better, so back to using that at night, which will help me sleep better.
I am so excited that its finally happening... and I am so broke. I never did get a call from the temp agency once I told them I was planning surgery. So no paycheck for the last month. I will have to get better quick after surgery and get out and get a job. Hey-no pressure, right?
I am going to meet Dr Dan Carey on Mothers day and have him do the water weight test to calculate my body fat/lean mass, should be very interesting to see if there is anything but fat on this old body!
5/6/05
day 6 of the liquid diet. Not that hungry, really. I keep pushing fluids all day. Nearly freaked the the second day-got on the scale and weighed 370! I must have retained every drop I drank the first day. wasn't funny.
this mornings weight was about 350, which is more like it. I figured I had to be losing something. I am a little tired, or more like a lot lazy. I just don't want to do anything much-I have been keeping my hands busy on the computer, or crocheting-had some nice baby yarn so I made a baby blanket, now I am making a scarf. I may actually use up some yarn in the next week or so! I just want to get over the hump, so to speak-I am not really nervous about the surgery at this point. I actually feel very calm, I have done my homework, my surgeon is marvelous and has a very good track record, the hospital bariatric unit is one of the best, my insurance is taken care of....other than not having a job, I am in pretty good shape. I am not going to worry about the job thing until after surgery-my job right now is to get through it and recover with little/no problems so that I can get out there and get work. The OH message boards have been great-they keep me honest and out of trouble. I have not cheated on the liquids at all, other than eating jello that wasnt' sugar free the first day. ooops-forgot it had to be sf. no big deal. need to go to the store soon and get more broth though-it really helps to drink the broth, more of a warm full feeling when I do.
I took the atenolol today to see how it worked and I am feeling pretty good. I will take that the first week after surgery and before surgery for my heart, helps to lower BP and make the surgery easier on the heart. sounds like a good idea to me.
I want this to go picture perfect!!! I know everyone always wishes for that, but I figure it can't hurt.
5/9/05
Went to see Dr Dan Carey at the University of St Thomas yesterday and got my resting metabolic rate and body fat percentage-no surprises on either, to me. I have 50% body fat (hah-trying to hold myself under water was a laugh, I am so bouyant) and my metabolic rate was 1350, which he said was a little low, so he thinks I will have a difficult time taking off all the weight unless I exercise. Yup. I have to find a way to like moving around. I think taking off some of this weight will help....and funny thing, his scale must be broke, cause I weighed 340 on his scale, which would mean a loss of 22 pounds or so on the liquid diet. My home scale doesn't reflect that at all....more like 355. either way, I have lost some on the liquids, so my liver should be in good shape for surgery-TOMORROW!!! in 24 hours I will be a LOSER. I just gotta keep my eyes on the prize-I hate pain, and there will be enough of it tomorrow. BUT I AM ON MY WAY TO A NORMAL LIFE!!!
5/14/05
Well, I am home from the hospital, and everything has gone textbook perfect-I have been blessed with no complications at this time. I am able to drink my fluids without much problem-gettin in my 64 oz has not been hard. The pain is manageble as long as I don't wait too long before taking the med. Last night I took it at 830pm, then didn't take any overnight-by 830am I was hurting pretty bad. My gut sounds like it is alive-the gas pumped in there is moving and sqooshing around, but everything is working just fine. Had jello today-after 2 bites, I realized I had to slow down because I was getting FULL. that is so bizarre. I feel very lucky to have had no problems. The 2 gals that had their surgery on the same day as I have both had some problems-one went home the next day, then was readmitted the following day because her intestinal system wasnt' working, and the other developed a picky pouch immediately-she was throwing up and foaming at the mouth in the hospital from the diet Jello. She is home now and doing better. It has been rainy for the last few days and my son is bored out of his mind, so he is being a big pain. I have to lay down and rest-the pain med just kicked in!!!!
5/28/05
So far so good-I am on pureed foods now-and getting mighty bored with them. I would like to have something I can chew, but the other night I tried to puree some beef-big mistake. That stuff sat in my pouch like a lead balloon, then I puked it all up. I don't think I will try that again anytime soon. I pureed some rotisserie chicken tonight and it was yummy and stayed down fine. I have also done chicken livers, and chili, and refried beans. I understand now when people say they really start craving a salad. Mush can only satisfy so far. I have to measure-or I will eat too much and I don't ever want to throw up again. I don't feel hungry much, but I also don't feel 'full' which is weird. I will just keep measuring and trusting that that is what I need. I have lost 25 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks, which is really cool.
I started a part time job at a women's clothing store-it's just 15 hours a week, and thats good, because I hurt after 4 hours. I have a 9 hour shift on Weds, not really looking forward to that, but I have to be moving around and doing something. I would love a full time job, but the temp company I have gone through for 2 years is suddenly giving me the run around-perhaps I took too many days off for my preop stuff? anyway....if they call, great, otherwise I will just have to see what else I can do.
I am dying to get in the pool and the jacuzzi at the Y-really miss that. Have to wait till my 1 month exam for the okay. I think I have healed very well-nothing is oozing or anything, and most of my scabs have already fallen off. I don't think there will be much scarring at all, which just amazes me, not that it matters-my tummy is never gonna grace the public eye!
6/9/05
One month update already!!!! I just saw Barb at Park Nicollet, and weighed in at 335 pounds-thats 28 pounds from my highest weight!!! I have lost 6 inches from my waist and an inch off my hips (actually, my measurements at home said 2, but hey, give or take, it's still GONE!! my BMI is officially under 50-at 49.5. I have had no major problems, liquids are going in fine, and food for the most part is not a problem if I remember to eat slow enough. So glad that everything is healed well and I can start swimming again-water aerobics make me happy. Summer has finally come and with it the heat and a little humidity-and t-storms-won't be long til my son is begging to go to the waterpark. I told Barb I have a hard time believing I had surgery I feel so good, until I eat and realize that I really can't eat much. Every once in awhile I feel a little sad that I can't eat more, but not enough to get depressed about it. I am shrinking, whoooo-hoooo!!!
8/8/05
Okay, summer got a bit busy and I have waited a bit to post again. I had my 3 month today with Barb at Park Nicollet. She says I am doing quite well, and I feel so much better than before the surgery. I have lost 52 pounds officially, and 10 inches off my waist, only 4 off my hips-dang it, can't loose that hip flap fast enough!!! I am very pleased with that loss, however, especially since I took a 3 week vacation and still lost 10 pounds in July!! I went to Hawaii to see my older kids, catch a couple family reunions on the ex's side, and take my son to Hawaiian Explorations camp for a week. I had a hard time tracking my food, and sometimes felt like I wasn't getting enough milk, or eating too much-I threw up a couple of times because I ate too fast/too much and it came back. I ate plenty of raw fish and poke (yum) and just a little poi (too starchy) and tried to always get my protein in, and I did all right. We went swimming quite a bit-one day to Waimea bay to swim and I was in heaven there, the water is so clear. I even climbed "the ROCK" and jumped-about 20 feet down. I have a picture for proof!!!
I am amazed and humbled by the way this surgery is changing my life. I feel soooo much better-my feet and joints don't ache as much as they did, and I am starting to have more energy. I still need to work in exercise regularly-not having a job/or being in school, I kinda let things slide. I start a new job tomorrow (yay-I finally will have money again!) so that will help me get more in schedule with things. Hard to believe that school is starting in just a few short weeks-for both me and my son!! I feel much more confident now-I can't really see a huge difference in the way I look, but I think my face is getting a little slimmer (maybe I am down to 2 chins instead of three....)I know my clothes are starting to really get too big-it's hard for me to part with them just yet-I like my clothes loose and comfortable, but the other night at work I kept having to yank my pants back up because they were creeping down my hips! I am fitting into clothes that we way too tight before and this is such a good feeling. My BMI has gone from a 53 to a 45-so I am not complaining one bit. Still have a long way to go, but the journey is begun, and is going well.
11/13/05
Okay-I made six months on the 10th, but have been a little preoccupied with my little guy-he had his appendix taken out that morning. What a week!!!!
I had my checkup with Barb on Monday-down 75 pounds, 12 inches off my waist and 9 inches off my hips. Whhoooo-hooo!! and I was premenstral-dropped another few pounds just in the last day or so. I feel so much better than I did 6 months ago, hardly able to walk, and wheezing as I trundled along. Now I can run up the stairs, walk around the mall, stay awake all day!!! It is truly amazing how much of a difference this has made. In reality, I am down about 80 from my top weight, which rocks big time. My scale read 285 this morning. I still have a long ways to go, but I know I will make it. The snack monster has bit me big time, and I don't dump easily, so I have to be more careful. Chips occasionally find me, as do the odd chocolate. Halloween was awful-all that chocolate around!! I won't say I didn't eat more than my share. ugh.
I have found I can eat a lot more than I was able to 2 months ago. I am not sure that this is a good thing. I am better when I stick with proteins like chicken or meat, since it fills me with less. Barb said not to worry overmuch about being able to eat a cup of chili or soup, but to worry if I could eat a whole cup of meat. Can't do that!
I have come down several sizes-I was in a womens 28/30, now I fit a 24 jeans and 2x shirts pretty comfortably. I could do a 1x, but I like things a bit roomy!
the rest of my life continues to be insane-I am taking two classes this semester, 3 next semester, and looking to finish my AAS degree in a year, then maybe on to nursing. I will be an Medical Assistant when I finish this program. Nursing pays better and has a bit more job prospects, though. for now I am just going insane trying to research my term paper.
8/30/2006
My year anniversary flew by several months ago-I have been meaning to update forever, but always seem to have something else more important to do. I am down to 239 as of today-that is 125 pounds or so from my begining weight!! I am wearing a 16-18 in most pants, and a size large top, sometimes smaller. My feet haven't really shrunk, darn it! I still wear a size 12 but medium instead of WW. I can cross my legs, I can walk for hours, and I feel so great. My son never tires of putting his arms around me and showing me that he has room to spare now when he hugs me. I have stolen his t-shirts and shorts now-makes him nuts!! I made one of my goals a month ago-my oldest son left a pair of his pants from basic training-army camo fatigues. They are a size large. I told myself I would be able to wear them someday-and I can!!! I jumped up and down and cried when I realized I could butten them up. Before the summer is officially over I will go to Valleyfair amusement park and go on all the rides-I can fit in them all now, I am sure!!! I have a neck, a waist, and ankles!! it just gets better and better. I went to the waterpark with my son and could climb all the stairs to the tallest slide and we had a blast. I no longer take any meds for diabetes, cholesterol, or triglicerides-just my prozac and vitamins and the occasional antibiotic. I seem to still be losing, gradually but still losing. It just couldn't get any better than this!!!
So, I met with the bariatric nurse from Park Nicollet yesterday, had my preliminary go thru, and set up my psych test for next Monday, the 24th. I will have a four hour appointment next Friday the 28th, where I will meet with the dietician, nurse, and psych. I have my psych follow up on Feb 4th. I was surprised that I was able to get everything set up so quickly. I am hoping to get the surgery in April, after my finals are done. All of a sudden it's real, not just a thought. kinda scarey, but exciting to think I am really gonna do it. I will be fat for my daughter's wedding on Feb. 8, but after that, look out world!
midnight 1/23/05
Can't sleep-worrying about the psych test tomorrow, and thinking about my daughter getting married in 3 weeks. I am going to be huge at her wedding-told her I will have all the 'before' pics taken at her wedding. I hurt all over-we had about 8 inches of snow this weekend, and even with a snow blower, it was more than I usually can do-I am having to be honest with myself about how much this weight affects my whole life, and how I have stopped doing so many things because I hurt so bad. I can't even keep my house clean because my back and feet hurt after standing or vacuming or lifting.....I just want to lay down and die after trying to get one room clean. I huff and puff just walking from the parking lot to my suite at work, and it hurts my hips and knees to sit in a chair all day, even with frequent ups and downs. It doesn't feel like it happened gradually, though it did, but it seems as if just one day I woke up and couldn't walk anymore, and standing hurt my back. I really want to get the surgery done and start getting free of such pain-I am actually dreaming of being able to walk and run again, and being able to play with my son. I hope my process goes smoothly for my approval. I am at the point where I would even quit school mid-quarter if I got an approval, because nothing is as important as getting well. My son has been worried about me getting the surgery, so tonight I logged on and he read some profiles and some of the postings, then turned to me and said, "Mom, I really want you to do this so you can feel better." He is begining to realize that there is a lot of things we could do together if my weight weren't in the way. For now, the best I can do is go to sleep and dream of that (hopefully) not to distant day when I can do what I want to do, and my body will go along and not complain!
1/25/05
So the psych test is over....that wasn't such a big deal-the clinic has it in a computer program, so it was click-click-click and done in about an hour and a half. Friday I go back for the 4 hour visit-PT, dietician, psychologist, MD? I look forward to getting through it all and getting the process on the road. School is going fairly well, but I have a hard time concentrating because I think about this surgery nearly all the time. Gotta get that under control! Wouldn't do to lose concentration while practicing blood draws or playing with live bacterias...heh heh heh!!! The other thing on my mind is this upcoming wedding of my daughters-geez it's coming up fast! Hard to think that my baby girl is old enough to do this.
Saw her in her dress Sunday and almost cried she is so beautiful!!!
1/26/05
I went to my first Renewal last night. It was very interesting, and I am glad I went. I was suprised how many people were there, and the nice thing was how supportive the group really was. I hate going around and around Abbott-NW hospital though!! One way streets, what a pain. I am hurting pretty bad today because after the meeting I was walking out and hit a patch of ice, went SPLAT. Thank goodness there were people behind me who helped me up. Falling is one of my biggest fears-I take stairs slowly, or not at all. I can't see my feet, and there is so much weight on my tummy that I don't have good balance anymore. I WANT TO GET THIS WEIGHT OFF!! I am at the point where I am willing to do the liquid diet (pre-op) until I can get surgery, even though everyone says it's pretty nasty. I don't care, I just need to get this OFF. Two more days and I can meet with the dietician, PT, and psych. It's something to look forward to, anyway.....
1/28/04
This morning was the 4 hour visit at Park Nicollet to see the Psych, dietician, PT, and MD. Can I just say that I have been very impressed with their program? It was enlightening to see the PT-we did some walking, and I can get my heart rate up just moseying down the hall-the thing that stops me is the pain in my heel, or in my back. I will have to find ways to become more active. The really depressing part of my visit was weight-I am at 359.5 lbs. My heaviest ever. It's depressing. No wonder I feel like a stuffed sausage-I have been putting on pounds for the last month, and I have to stop it. I am going to try some of the dieticians suggestions, and start working on the exercise. Goodbye McFat and Burger Tyrant!! I have been working on sipping water all day to see if I can get in enough, and I am surprised at how long it takes to get a liter of water down in sips-I can do 2 liters in an 8 hour work day. Thats roughly 65 oz, which is good, but I know I will need to do that consistantly, whether I am nauseated or not. I see now where some people struggle. I am also trying to chew to applesauce consistancy-boy is that a challange! I am obviously used to gulping big bites! I was surprised at how fast I was eating. Now that I am thinking about it, I hope to get better.
Next week I go back for the rest of my psych consult-then my papers can go to the insurance company. Yay-I feel like things are finally moving!
2/13/05
Whew!! the psych eval and the wedding are all over. I caught some virus and have been laid out all week-faked wellness for the wedding, but stayed home from work until Friday. Called the temp agency I work for and told them I am quitting this position-have been there for almost a year, don't want to be hired, and don't want to do the scut work they are giving me now. So Friday is my last day. EEEkk....good thing taxes came back. Hopefully I will come up with something soon.
The psych eval went okay-she is going to sent in my approval request. She had some questions about the depression problem, and we talked about my meds and how long I have taken them. I am not that worried-I am in touch with my shrink every 3 months, and can notify him immediately if there is a problem. I guess depressed people often have a tough time with the changes the surgery demands. I don't really think that will be me, but I will be on my toes, anyway. At least I know the paperwork is going in to the insurance-pretty soon I can set a date!!!! whooo-hooooo!
2/21/2005
Sure, that paperwork is going right in to the insurance.....got a call today from the Bariatric Nurse and he said I need a letter from the psychiatrist I see for my depression meds, just to back up what the psych found on my depression, so I am considered a little higher risk patient. grrrrr....I wish she had told me I would need a letter when I saw her, I saw the shrink the following week. I called and left a message for him at his office, but he is not in until Weds. wah. I just want this to get to the insurance so I can get approved. ((breathe...just BREATHE)) I have been on Prozac for 2 years, don't think it's gonna be that big a deal to have surgery. The shrink said he isn't worried about it when I saw him. Well, that means he shouldn't have a problem writing that letter! In the meantime, I am dragging through school, and I am now in between temp jobs. I won't even look for a 'real' job- I have given up with trying to land something that I don't even want. At least temping gives me a paycheck and I can leave an assingment if it's wrong for me. Not what I want forever, but it works for going to school. I can take of time when I need to, because I don't have the whole vacation days thing-but any time I take off will be unpaid. Hope I don't need 6 weeks off for the surgery.....
3/16/05
I am approved!!!! I checked my cell phone and the nurse had called this afternoon and left a message that the ins co approved me and we can get things rolling.....I am sooo EXCITED!!! I am hoping I can still get a date in May-late April if I am lucky. Have to wait for finals to be over then I can jump on over to the losing side!!!! I don't think I will be sleeping tonight, just way to excited and happy that I am finally over that bridge and ready to jump on a date. I wish I could call the doc office right now and set a date. Kurt (the nurse) said that the surgeon consults were going into April when I talked to him 2 weeks ago. I hope they still have room for me!
3/17/05
I made my appointment with Dr. Svendson at Methodist Hospital for a surgery consult. I will see him on March 30. Have to have a gallbladder appt to make sure I have no stones and can keep it-with my luck I will have stones and they will have to take it out. Either way, I don't care-I am gonna have WLS finally-it's REALLY gonna happen. I am not working right now, again. The temp agency sent me to a job doing assembly, said it was mostly sitting down, but the gal in charge had me packing boxes and drilling pipes on the drill press and after 2 days of that, I couldn't stand the pain-called in and told them it was just too much for my back and feet. So jobless again. I don't know if the agency is gonna really look for anything for me at this point. I am really scared that I will not be able to work until I lose some weight, because I hurt so bad most days that it is an effort to get out of bed. It is supposed to snow a lot tonight-I am praying that it doesn't hit too hard here-I am in no shape to shovel, and I don't own a snowblower! It is really sad that I am at this point.
I did get a membership at the YMCA and have been going every week to walk in the pool-it's easier on my back than walking the track. I have gone on the recumbant bikes, too-I can only last about 7 minutes on the lowest setting-and my knees hit my panny the whole time. not amusing. I have to get more exercise, but I hurt pretty bad, especially when I have my period-my back feels like a spring wound tight and waiting to sproing out. I just keep trying. I try to remember to stretch and bend a little every day-it's supposed to help with all the stiffness. I have never gone to the doctor and complained about all the pain-just taken plenty of ibuprofen and kept going. Now I can't take the ibuprofen, so I really feel the pain! It will all be in the past in just a few more months. it's really gonna happen for me!!!
3/22/05
Well, I have an appt for the Gallbladder ultrasound day after tomorrow in the morning-yay, one more thing to check off my little list! Still no job forthcoming from the temp agency...just as well as it is spring break for my son, so we are hanging out together this week-I still have school at night on Monday and Thursday, but his dad takes him then. Went to the Y again today and walked in the pool for about 20 minutes, also did about 15 minutes of pool aerobics. It feels good to be moving, but the aerobic part is hardly there. I think it is more just movement and stretching. The stupid thing that bothers me is that my fat arms rub against the fabric of my swimsuit and get irritated when I swing my arms in the pool. I may have to start wearing a t-shirt so that my armpits are not worn out. sheesh. It seems like every day there is another thing that I notice about my weight and how it affects my life. I can hardly wait to start seeing how losing weight affects my life!!!
It is really amazing how many things I have just put up with or accepted, that I don't have any patience for anymore. I have to sit down and write out my personal list of reasons why I want to lose 100 (actually, 200) pounds. There are some silly sounding things that would really make all the difference in a day!
3/30/05
I HAVE A DATE!!! THIS IS ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME!
I will be having surgery at Methodist Hospital on May 10, first thing in the morning (whoa, I gotta be there at 5:30am!) I met Dr. Svendson and had to laugh-he is awarding me the prize for the day for bringing in a new diet he'd never heard of in my history-Hot water, fresh-squeezed lemon, maple syrup and as much Cayenne pepper as you can stand, mixed together and drank as much as you want all day-and that is all. No food. no vitamins. nada. I was on that diet for 32 days, lost 50lbs, gained it all back within about 5 months and then some more. STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE!! He told me that obviously my problem was not willpower, since I could live through that. His nurse, Barb, had me in stiches-she is so funny, and has her own stories about her WLS experience. I am set-I have my instructions, my prescriptions, my 'bariatric bible' (guidebook), my date, my dietician appt....now I just have to wait for the next 6 weeks!!
4/10/05
Make that "wait for the next 6 weeks AND STAY HEALTHY" I have been plagued by an ear infection that just won't go away-and this past week it became so inflamed and swollen that I couldn't even chew. Went to the Dr. Wednsday and she put me on yet another antibiotic, and sent me to get an MRI on Friday. OMG-can I tell you that was the most mortifying experience of my life? I was sent to a regular MRI clinic, not open, so they had to jam me into the tube so tight to get the scan, my hands were completely numb the whole time from the pressure of my big body being sqeezed into that little tube. They would not have been able to do it at all if they needed any other part of me done, there is no way I would have fit. I don't have results yet-hopefully I have just a ton of fluid in my ear that is causing the ringing/deafness, not a tumor or something else nasty.
I am applying for welfare tomorrow-I have not had a job since Feb 15, and the temp agency is not calling me or sending me out on anything-everytime I call I get the run around about how there just isn't anything available. Hmm....there were jobs available until they sent me on an assembly assignment and after 2 days I told them I could not work that physical of a job. Now they don't want to send me anywhere. My weight has made it just about impossible to do anything-even sitting at my computer for an hour makes me ache all over. Exactly one more month for surgery-I hope it goes fast!!!
4/14/05
Well, welfare will help me with food stamps but not money-my child support is more than what they would allow. Still don't have the food stamps, there are some things that they are waiting to have sent back from the temp agency and my landlord. Still no calls for jobs-augh! I have 3 dollars in my checking account right now. Hopefully something will come up. At least the MRI came back showing that I do not have a tumor or anything-it was an infection of the mastoid bone (behind the ear) and the soft tissue of my jaw. The Cipro and Z-pack did the trick, and I am feeling so much better. Tonight was the last night of classes, next Monday and Tuesday I have finals, and then I don't go back to school until August. Yippee! I have so much to do before then-WLS, moving, adjusting my eating habits, getting a job....I just hope I don't have any problems after surgery. There are some people who have had some pretty severe problems, and I don't want to be in that catagory. Next week will be the last full week of eating food, then I will start the pre-op liquid diet. My date is coming up quick-I don't feel scared, just excited to have my life change. I hope I am ready for the ride.
4/23/05
Wow, meant to get back here and post this week, but then kept finding other things to do. Went back to the Doc on Monday because my jaw/ear was hurting again, so am on yet another round of antibiotics to clear up the bone infection-she figures we just didn't get it wiped out enough the last time. It feels better now, still have another week of antibiotics to go. Had my nutritionist preop on 4/21, ended up taking my son with me. It was surprising how much he knew-obviously he has been reading over my shoulder and listening to me talk, because he is pretty informed about the eating. Blew him away when she showed him a golf ball and said that's how big my pouch would be, and that right now it's about as big as a football. yikes! He was guessing that I weighed about 400 lbs, so that was a little sobering. My daughter Nani called tonight-she just got back to Hawaii (home for her) from basic training, and saw the pictures from Kahea's wedding-and she said she was shocked at how big I had gotten, especially my face had gotten so fat. She is so glad I am having surgery to get this weight off me. I told her it wasn't gonna be easy, but I was gonna try my hardest to be sure it ALL COMES OFF. I got a treadmill this week (used, but it works) and it is in my living room. Have to stock up on Carnation Instant Breakfast. I am supposed to start the liquids on Saturday the 30th, but I think I am gonna start sooner. I am actually feeling like I am done with eating so much. I am glad I have to do the liquids, I think it puts your head in a better place. The hard part is I will still have to cook for my son, even though I can't eat (argh!!) I can do this. I have to do this.
Today was the Final Fatty Feast for myself and 3 other gals who are having surgery soon-Gwen and I have the same surgeon, I go first, then she goes. Christine will have Dr Jones. The 3 of us are all at Methodist on the 10th. I have a feeling once we start cruising the halls together they are gonna be itching to throw us out of there-we have so much fun together. What was fabulous, was that there were almost 40 people there from the MN OH board, who came to support us and wish us well. It was the greatest. I really have come to depend on the OH board for the friends and support I have found here. Okay, sometimes the info isn't right-so I believe in going to the Dr or Dietician and making sure I know what I am doing, but there is so much love and support here that I really feel like I have made hundreds of friends. Renewal at Abbot-NW hospital on Tuesdays is the other side of the support group-many of them are regulars on the OH board, so it's like being with family. That means so much to me, since I really don't have much family around here. Jennifer P in Burnsville has been a good friend, I am so glad to have got to know her. She has been having some issues with her pouch-it's pretty sensitive, but she has stayed in touch, and I know she will be there for me. I can't believe it's coming up so soon. Glad that the school term is over-I got A's in both my classes, so I am still holding a 4.0 (yay for me!) I won't be taking classes this summer-waiting for fall term then I will be back in the swing of things. I want to get through this schooling and get my degree so bad! To have a decent job that pays well will be the greatest reward, and to know I earned my degree will make me so much more self confident. Add being a normal weight to that and I just might be unstopable!
4/29/05
Well, it's the night before the liquid fast begins. I 'practiced' this week, pretty much on the fast from Tuesday, but went off today and had a subway sandwich, and some nachos-bye bye, food I love!
The only thing about the liquids that I noticed is that I am so cold-the weather has been very chilly and drinking all that water and milk just makes me cold. gonna have to do some hot tea-so off to the store in the morning for some herbal tea. I hope the weather gets warmer soon-it's that cold wet chilly stuff that just seeps into your bones. Gonna take a good long hot soak (as much of me as I can fit in my tub) and get into bed. Got a new CPAP mask that fits much better and my ear is finally better, so back to using that at night, which will help me sleep better.
I am so excited that its finally happening... and I am so broke. I never did get a call from the temp agency once I told them I was planning surgery. So no paycheck for the last month. I will have to get better quick after surgery and get out and get a job. Hey-no pressure, right?
I am going to meet Dr Dan Carey on Mothers day and have him do the water weight test to calculate my body fat/lean mass, should be very interesting to see if there is anything but fat on this old body!
5/6/05
day 6 of the liquid diet. Not that hungry, really. I keep pushing fluids all day. Nearly freaked the the second day-got on the scale and weighed 370! I must have retained every drop I drank the first day. wasn't funny.
this mornings weight was about 350, which is more like it. I figured I had to be losing something. I am a little tired, or more like a lot lazy. I just don't want to do anything much-I have been keeping my hands busy on the computer, or crocheting-had some nice baby yarn so I made a baby blanket, now I am making a scarf. I may actually use up some yarn in the next week or so! I just want to get over the hump, so to speak-I am not really nervous about the surgery at this point. I actually feel very calm, I have done my homework, my surgeon is marvelous and has a very good track record, the hospital bariatric unit is one of the best, my insurance is taken care of....other than not having a job, I am in pretty good shape. I am not going to worry about the job thing until after surgery-my job right now is to get through it and recover with little/no problems so that I can get out there and get work. The OH message boards have been great-they keep me honest and out of trouble. I have not cheated on the liquids at all, other than eating jello that wasnt' sugar free the first day. ooops-forgot it had to be sf. no big deal. need to go to the store soon and get more broth though-it really helps to drink the broth, more of a warm full feeling when I do.
I took the atenolol today to see how it worked and I am feeling pretty good. I will take that the first week after surgery and before surgery for my heart, helps to lower BP and make the surgery easier on the heart. sounds like a good idea to me.
I want this to go picture perfect!!! I know everyone always wishes for that, but I figure it can't hurt.
5/9/05
Went to see Dr Dan Carey at the University of St Thomas yesterday and got my resting metabolic rate and body fat percentage-no surprises on either, to me. I have 50% body fat (hah-trying to hold myself under water was a laugh, I am so bouyant) and my metabolic rate was 1350, which he said was a little low, so he thinks I will have a difficult time taking off all the weight unless I exercise. Yup. I have to find a way to like moving around. I think taking off some of this weight will help....and funny thing, his scale must be broke, cause I weighed 340 on his scale, which would mean a loss of 22 pounds or so on the liquid diet. My home scale doesn't reflect that at all....more like 355. either way, I have lost some on the liquids, so my liver should be in good shape for surgery-TOMORROW!!! in 24 hours I will be a LOSER. I just gotta keep my eyes on the prize-I hate pain, and there will be enough of it tomorrow. BUT I AM ON MY WAY TO A NORMAL LIFE!!!
5/14/05
Well, I am home from the hospital, and everything has gone textbook perfect-I have been blessed with no complications at this time. I am able to drink my fluids without much problem-gettin in my 64 oz has not been hard. The pain is manageble as long as I don't wait too long before taking the med. Last night I took it at 830pm, then didn't take any overnight-by 830am I was hurting pretty bad. My gut sounds like it is alive-the gas pumped in there is moving and sqooshing around, but everything is working just fine. Had jello today-after 2 bites, I realized I had to slow down because I was getting FULL. that is so bizarre. I feel very lucky to have had no problems. The 2 gals that had their surgery on the same day as I have both had some problems-one went home the next day, then was readmitted the following day because her intestinal system wasnt' working, and the other developed a picky pouch immediately-she was throwing up and foaming at the mouth in the hospital from the diet Jello. She is home now and doing better. It has been rainy for the last few days and my son is bored out of his mind, so he is being a big pain. I have to lay down and rest-the pain med just kicked in!!!!
5/28/05
So far so good-I am on pureed foods now-and getting mighty bored with them. I would like to have something I can chew, but the other night I tried to puree some beef-big mistake. That stuff sat in my pouch like a lead balloon, then I puked it all up. I don't think I will try that again anytime soon. I pureed some rotisserie chicken tonight and it was yummy and stayed down fine. I have also done chicken livers, and chili, and refried beans. I understand now when people say they really start craving a salad. Mush can only satisfy so far. I have to measure-or I will eat too much and I don't ever want to throw up again. I don't feel hungry much, but I also don't feel 'full' which is weird. I will just keep measuring and trusting that that is what I need. I have lost 25 pounds in 2 1/2 weeks, which is really cool.
I started a part time job at a women's clothing store-it's just 15 hours a week, and thats good, because I hurt after 4 hours. I have a 9 hour shift on Weds, not really looking forward to that, but I have to be moving around and doing something. I would love a full time job, but the temp company I have gone through for 2 years is suddenly giving me the run around-perhaps I took too many days off for my preop stuff? anyway....if they call, great, otherwise I will just have to see what else I can do.
I am dying to get in the pool and the jacuzzi at the Y-really miss that. Have to wait till my 1 month exam for the okay. I think I have healed very well-nothing is oozing or anything, and most of my scabs have already fallen off. I don't think there will be much scarring at all, which just amazes me, not that it matters-my tummy is never gonna grace the public eye!
6/9/05
One month update already!!!! I just saw Barb at Park Nicollet, and weighed in at 335 pounds-thats 28 pounds from my highest weight!!! I have lost 6 inches from my waist and an inch off my hips (actually, my measurements at home said 2, but hey, give or take, it's still GONE!! my BMI is officially under 50-at 49.5. I have had no major problems, liquids are going in fine, and food for the most part is not a problem if I remember to eat slow enough. So glad that everything is healed well and I can start swimming again-water aerobics make me happy. Summer has finally come and with it the heat and a little humidity-and t-storms-won't be long til my son is begging to go to the waterpark. I told Barb I have a hard time believing I had surgery I feel so good, until I eat and realize that I really can't eat much. Every once in awhile I feel a little sad that I can't eat more, but not enough to get depressed about it. I am shrinking, whoooo-hoooo!!!
8/8/05
Okay, summer got a bit busy and I have waited a bit to post again. I had my 3 month today with Barb at Park Nicollet. She says I am doing quite well, and I feel so much better than before the surgery. I have lost 52 pounds officially, and 10 inches off my waist, only 4 off my hips-dang it, can't loose that hip flap fast enough!!! I am very pleased with that loss, however, especially since I took a 3 week vacation and still lost 10 pounds in July!! I went to Hawaii to see my older kids, catch a couple family reunions on the ex's side, and take my son to Hawaiian Explorations camp for a week. I had a hard time tracking my food, and sometimes felt like I wasn't getting enough milk, or eating too much-I threw up a couple of times because I ate too fast/too much and it came back. I ate plenty of raw fish and poke (yum) and just a little poi (too starchy) and tried to always get my protein in, and I did all right. We went swimming quite a bit-one day to Waimea bay to swim and I was in heaven there, the water is so clear. I even climbed "the ROCK" and jumped-about 20 feet down. I have a picture for proof!!!
I am amazed and humbled by the way this surgery is changing my life. I feel soooo much better-my feet and joints don't ache as much as they did, and I am starting to have more energy. I still need to work in exercise regularly-not having a job/or being in school, I kinda let things slide. I start a new job tomorrow (yay-I finally will have money again!) so that will help me get more in schedule with things. Hard to believe that school is starting in just a few short weeks-for both me and my son!! I feel much more confident now-I can't really see a huge difference in the way I look, but I think my face is getting a little slimmer (maybe I am down to 2 chins instead of three....)I know my clothes are starting to really get too big-it's hard for me to part with them just yet-I like my clothes loose and comfortable, but the other night at work I kept having to yank my pants back up because they were creeping down my hips! I am fitting into clothes that we way too tight before and this is such a good feeling. My BMI has gone from a 53 to a 45-so I am not complaining one bit. Still have a long way to go, but the journey is begun, and is going well.
11/13/05
Okay-I made six months on the 10th, but have been a little preoccupied with my little guy-he had his appendix taken out that morning. What a week!!!!
I had my checkup with Barb on Monday-down 75 pounds, 12 inches off my waist and 9 inches off my hips. Whhoooo-hooo!! and I was premenstral-dropped another few pounds just in the last day or so. I feel so much better than I did 6 months ago, hardly able to walk, and wheezing as I trundled along. Now I can run up the stairs, walk around the mall, stay awake all day!!! It is truly amazing how much of a difference this has made. In reality, I am down about 80 from my top weight, which rocks big time. My scale read 285 this morning. I still have a long ways to go, but I know I will make it. The snack monster has bit me big time, and I don't dump easily, so I have to be more careful. Chips occasionally find me, as do the odd chocolate. Halloween was awful-all that chocolate around!! I won't say I didn't eat more than my share. ugh.
I have found I can eat a lot more than I was able to 2 months ago. I am not sure that this is a good thing. I am better when I stick with proteins like chicken or meat, since it fills me with less. Barb said not to worry overmuch about being able to eat a cup of chili or soup, but to worry if I could eat a whole cup of meat. Can't do that!
I have come down several sizes-I was in a womens 28/30, now I fit a 24 jeans and 2x shirts pretty comfortably. I could do a 1x, but I like things a bit roomy!
the rest of my life continues to be insane-I am taking two classes this semester, 3 next semester, and looking to finish my AAS degree in a year, then maybe on to nursing. I will be an Medical Assistant when I finish this program. Nursing pays better and has a bit more job prospects, though. for now I am just going insane trying to research my term paper.
8/30/2006
My year anniversary flew by several months ago-I have been meaning to update forever, but always seem to have something else more important to do. I am down to 239 as of today-that is 125 pounds or so from my begining weight!! I am wearing a 16-18 in most pants, and a size large top, sometimes smaller. My feet haven't really shrunk, darn it! I still wear a size 12 but medium instead of WW. I can cross my legs, I can walk for hours, and I feel so great. My son never tires of putting his arms around me and showing me that he has room to spare now when he hugs me. I have stolen his t-shirts and shorts now-makes him nuts!! I made one of my goals a month ago-my oldest son left a pair of his pants from basic training-army camo fatigues. They are a size large. I told myself I would be able to wear them someday-and I can!!! I jumped up and down and cried when I realized I could butten them up. Before the summer is officially over I will go to Valleyfair amusement park and go on all the rides-I can fit in them all now, I am sure!!! I have a neck, a waist, and ankles!! it just gets better and better. I went to the waterpark with my son and could climb all the stairs to the tallest slide and we had a blast. I no longer take any meds for diabetes, cholesterol, or triglicerides-just my prozac and vitamins and the occasional antibiotic. I seem to still be losing, gradually but still losing. It just couldn't get any better than this!!!
5/11/07
Holy cow-it has been 2 years since surgery. I keep meaning to come in here and update, but then I get busy and another month passes by. I am in my last few classes in school for my AAS degree in Medical Assisting-hard to believe I am finally going to have a degree this year. I am still down at 235-240 lbs. I am not THIN-but I am much smaller than I used to be, and the important thing, MUCH HEALTHIER. I can walk, climb, run, even ride bike *not far yet* and life is just so much better. I don't mind the hot weather-the warm sun feels so good. I had my 2 year checkup last week, and saw Dr Svendsen in the hall-he said I look great, and I told him that I FEEL great. My bariatric labs are perfect-calcium, iron, B12...all totally normal. I had my physical this week, so I haven't got my cholesterol or blood sugar numbers back yet-I am pretty sure they are good, though. I DID go to Valleyfair last summer-and went on ALL the rollercoasters with my son. It was a blast. I will have to go back this summer!
I am glad that I did not have any problems with surgery-I am very fortunate to have such an easy time. I DO DUMP, but not overly-I can eat pretty much anything, in moderation. I get into trouble when I binge, though, and binging is STILL an issue, not the quantity, but the mindlessness of it. I continue to try to control my impulses to eat what is bad for me. It is true that this surgery does not change your brain!
I am so thankful for OH and my friends here-one of the most wonderful 'side effects' of this surgery has been the wonderful bunch of people I have met through the MN board. Thank you to ALL of you!!
