13 months out

Feb 10, 2009

Hello all!

Well it has been another interesting month on the loser's bench.  I have only lost 3 pounds this month.  3 pounds is a bummer, but compared to the 169 that I have lost total, how can it be that bad?

Highest weight:  355 lbs
current weight:    186 lbs

Pant size before:    32W            after:   12
Shirt size before:     5x                after:    large or xlarge

The last month did indeed hold some first.  I had my first, second and third night of drinking.  The first night I had 2 Kahala and milks.  The second night, I drank about 5 glasses of wine and had some kahala and milks.  The third night was the doozy.  I drank about 6 large glasses of wine, and 1/2 of a martini.  I was totally wasted. 
That is the person that I do not want to be.  I think that I like the sober life better.  I am not saying that I won't ever have another glass of wine on a pretty day, but going out to just get drunk, is not gonna happen again. 


On a serious note, people say that wls make couples divorce and go crazy.  Come on you know that you have heard it.  I was discussing this with my husband, because rude people always tell him that I will leave him soon.  Even I, in a loving and happy marriage, have questions that are unanswered.  I do not want to nor will I leave my husband.  My questions come from, how would my life be different, how would I be different, if I had been thin, and had anyone I wanted at my fingertips?  I do think about those things.  My answer to my question to my husband was very simple.  I do wonder about my life how it would have been different.  There are times when I am saddened about all that I missed out on by being morbidly obese.  Looking back and then looking forward, I have gained new perspectives.  I may have missed out on alot, but I am not missing out on anything now.  I would not change my husband for the world.  Our relationship only grows daily.

Well another story, I am still being told that I am too skinny.  I find this very intersting.  I hope to lose 42 more pounds.  I recently started working out with a personal trainer.  She thinks she can whip me into shape.  I think that she may kill me doing it. 

I hope that all is well in OH land.  More next month!

Love,
Mary

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