matthewshiner

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 Six months have passed since my surgery.  One year since I started to seriously take control of my health and lose the weight.

Let’s do the facts.  

Highest weight was 420 pounds.  I was 375 on the day of the surgery.  I am currently 278.  The reason that sparked the entire weight loss was my high blood pressure, which is not in the normal range.   So, there is already a huge success.  (Wait, I lost 142 pounds in year . . . that’s a AMAZING success.)  My goal is 220, so 58 pounds to go.   I am so much more healthy, have a great energy and the compliments, hell, the compliments keep flowing in.  (in my business, I work with a lot of the same people over and over, but sometimes six months or a year a part, and having people just sort of gush over you is amazing.  I am pretty sure I will get sick of it after awhile, but right now, it makes my day.)

My BMI is 37.7, down from 57.

I surprised my mother for Christmas (she was not expecting me at all) in a public location (in front of Disneyland), and she had

My relationship with food has completely changed.  I did develop a gluten intolerance post-surgery, so, I have totally reshaped how I have eaten – thank goodness for rice pasta. I also had trouble early on with beef, pork and chicken – and recently tried a little meat recently, and it still did not sit well.  Pretty much, I am a Pectatarian, and only eating fish and tofu for protein – as well as 80g of protein from protein shakes.  (I love Sushi – although oddly, rice has been a huge problem for me – so just the Sashimi.)  Huge treat for me – sugar free popsicles.  I am addicted. 

I do snack too much.  (granted now it’s lite popcorn or soy snacks, sugar free popsicles.)

Surprisingly, there have been so many things that have come easy for me.  Cutting soda out of my diet has been really easy.  And, with the gluten thing, things like donuts, bagels, and a lot of other snacky type foods and desserts are really easy to skip – my big joke at work is if I am having a bad day, I ask someone to bring me a bagel to put me out of my misery – I am pretty sure if I ate a whole bagel it would do me in.  (Today, for example I sat next to a box of donuts and wasn’t even tempted.)

I was doing well at the gym, but given my starting a new show at work, my schedule is wonky, so I have missed going to the gym for the past two weeks, but should get back onto schedule by this weekend. 

I am still addicted to weighing myself.  Every morning I get up, feed the dogs, go to the bathroom, let the dogs out, weigh myself, let the dogs in, given them a treat and take my pills.  (It’s a whole morning thing.)  I am torn about the whole weighing myself every day versus every week – but what I like about weighing myself everyday is it sorts of takes the stigma out of.  The week I gained 2 pounds, I was able to understand why I gained.  I don’t know.  I went from being embarrassed, afraid – and on some scales, unable to weigh myself.  Now, I am piece at that.

I can cross my legs.

I went on something like 13 roller coasters at Six Flags.  When I was in college, almost 16 years ago, I was too big for most of them.

I have gone from a 60/58 waist to 44/46 waist.

I have gone from a 4xl shirt to a 1x or 1xl shirt.  (I can buy shirts from Target or, even more important, Costco.)

The weight loss has improved my love life in so many ways.  I feel sexy.  And as I have said before, I’d do me.

I look ten years younger.  (Although I am turning gray . . . )

Some of the down side . . .

 

I miss Pizza. 

The gluten intolerance sucks.

 

Although I look great in clothes, the sagging skin makes me look not so good naked.  (Although my partner Mark is absolutely fantastic about being supportive and loving.)  When he went in for some surgery before mine through a cosmetic surgeon, we talked about the possibility of the cosmetic surgery for me.  I think once I get to maintenance and sustain a weight, I am definitely going to look seriously into this.  (It would be a nice Christmas gift from Mom and Dad).

 

One of the things I find very odd, is that, besides this livejournal site, and an occasional OH drop in, I don’t have a support group of people who have surgery.  In fact, since the two days after the operation, I have not met anyone who has the surgery.  (Now, a lot of people come to me and say, “Oh, I had a friend who . . .”. ) I know by going out of the country, I was going to lose that sort of built in support group that comes with some doctors.  So, at sometimes, I feel isolated and alone.  My primary care physician is a little at loss – I am her first patient who ever have the surgery.  (But, I am tremendously thankful for this group).

 

Regrets . . .

 

Like so many people I regret not doing this earlier.  (Although I know I wasn’t mentally ready before . . . I did it at the right time for me.)

 

I regret not having a primary care physician that knows more about post-operative care. 

 

Here’s to the next six months!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hello Everyone So, I woke up last night at midnight, but the computer was WAY on the otherwise of the room, and I was just groggy. This is the first time I have woken up and not felt out of it, so here it goes. The surgery went very, very, very well. Most of the "gas" pain has passed, although one really good belch might help. They are a little concerned about my blood pressure, but they have given me medicine under my tongue for it. So, hopefully that will help. They want me to hold off having a shower. I do have a little stabby pain every-once in awhile, mostly when getting up or laying down, but I am sure that is to be accepted. I am walking around every hour. More updates soon.

So, I am 12 hours away from flying to Mexico, and about 36 hours away form surgery. Feelings I am having. I am terrified. I am nervous. I am worried. I am excited. I am overwhelmed. I am (oddly) calm. I am emotional. I am educated. I am strong. I am ready.

so, my although I am preparing for surgery and the lifestyle changes, I have also sort of dragged my partner into this. You never do this alone. Last night I totally went off about something stupid - we don't fight, we bicker a lot - but we don't fight. I thought he was upset at me for something (I didn't know what), he wasn't - and being on a liquid diet for ten days . . . my mood is just a little off. He is being great about, but all of this is pretty rough on him as well.

My surgery date is set for July 9. I fly down to Puerto Vallarta on July 8th and have surgery that next dat

So, I will be setting my surgery date tomorrow - it's been a complicated process. I have deceived not wait for approval by my insurance for a variety of reasons, but the main one is I want to be in control of this. Because, isn't that what it this is all about? Waiting for the insurance approval is going to be a stressful situation (I don't have five years medical history) and once they approve it is going to reck havoc with my schedule next season (thus causing my stress) - it seems silly that in two weeks I will have five weeks of downtime - that's when I should have the surgery. When I have the time to recuperate, when I have time I will be paying a deposit and setting a date for Surgery in Mexico, with a Doctor I have great confidence in. I have actually e-mailed several ex-patients, including a male patient who is roughly my age and BMI - he really put aside my fears. I will have four days in the hospital and then four days recuperating at a beach front hotel. Okay. So, how odd my first real vacation in umpteen years will be medical tourism. And I will relax. I think getting away will make this all amazingly easy for me to reprogram myself. Start with a clean slate. Then I come back and have five weeks to retrain myself, and teach myself how to be a new me. But now, it's two weeks away. I am on an all liquid diet. (juice, broth, jello, protein shakes) I have quit smoking (I had a couple of cigarettes last week - but now, no more falling off the wagon). And I will begin to come around both physically and mentally for this. I read a lot - online and in books - trying to educate myself. I want to know everything - but I do know, on some levels, I can't know everything. Today, I weighed 376. Thats 29 pounds down from the first of the years. So, already, I make small steps, very small steps, but gaining speed.

So . . . This is the first post in my weight loss journey. It actually started in January. I have been overweight my whole life. It's true. I have been the big kid, the fat kid - last to be picked, never dated in high school. But, you know . . . I have had a great life. A good life. I am very successful in my career, I have a great son, and I am in a great relationship and two loving dogs. The weight has never been a health issue. At times throughout my life, I have thought to buckle down and try to loose the weight - OA, Weight Watchers, Atkins, etc. I would loose some, then gain in back. In January, the oddest thing happened. I was watching tv, and the channel changed - I thought the dogs were sitting on the remote, but I looked around and couldn't find it. I kept look, channels changes . . . eventually I found the remote under my belly. I made an appointment with my doctor, and made the decision to loose weight. At the doctor's office, I was with high blood pressure; really high blood pressure - like 190/130. A visit to the cardiologist diagnosed a thickened heart. Pulmonologist led to a sleep study, which lead to being diagnosed with sleep apnea. It was now just not an issue of being the bigger guy, not being able to ride roller coasters, not being able to fit comfortably in a plane seat -