Melissa770
Staring at my calendar counting down the days
Dec 10, 2012
So... I'm sitting here staring at my calendar, counting the day, recounting the day, then counting again. I'm obsessed. It's crazy because I don't even need to count the days, I have been mentally ticking them off every night before going to sleep and every morning when waking up. 26 days until I leave for Monterrey and meet Dr S. and 27 days until I wake up from my surgery.
let me give you the backstory. When I first started my journey on OH years ago I chronicled the days leading up to my RNY and the year that followed. All that was lost after OH upgraded (I'm assuming). While I can't go back and capture the thoughts and emotions I was going through at those moments, I can tell you that like many others here, my life changed!! Oh how it changed!!
I had an open RNY with Dr. Paul Macik on February 12, 2002. My highest weight had been over 300lbs. I was 267 the morning of my surgery. Over the following months I lost 105lbs. Life was good. I bought my own home, I started doing things with my kids, I started DATING!!! When seeing friends or family for the first time since surgery it felt so good to have them tell me how great I looked and how beautiful I was, before it was always "You have such a pretty face".
So, everything was perfect... Right?? Well, not quite, not on the inside. I still had demons.
Suddenly I was the center of attention with men. I had no idea what to do with that, or how to react. Because I was still so self conscious of my body I would just smile and shy away. I had a lot of first and second dates, but it was really hard for me to allow anyone to get too close physically. I became hyper aware of the excess skin I was carrying around. When I would look at pictures of me I could see the flabby arms and the "apron roll". When I looked in the mirror all I could see was the gross disfigurement from the abuse I put my body through.
Physically I felt great, so great I forgot to take my vitamins and as a result in 2007 I ended up in the hospital having to have two blood transfusions and an iron infusion. That was the beginning of my downward spiral. Not long after being hospitalized we got a new manager at work and what a pompous ass he turned out to be. The stress from work, the depression from excess skin and the lack of energy from anemia all added up to weight gain. I slowly gained over 50 lbs over the next 5 years, that's half my initial weight loss!!! I knew I needed help, but wasn't sure where to turn. It had been YEARS since I attended a support group meeting. Then... I received an email from OH advertising the 2012 OH convention in Atlanta in October... The convention was book at a hotel literally across the street from my office building. I booked the conference and hotel room for the weekend so I could fully participate in the seminars. I signed up for "Back on Track" class in ATL that started the following week. I also received a consultation with a plastic surgeon from Tijuana.
And so my next phase began. I faithfully attended the Back on Track classes, which reminded me exactly why I had the surgery to begin with. With the encouragement of other members of the class I was motivated to start taking Zumba classes (fun!), And the get back to the basics of what I should have been doing all along. Since October (2 months ago) I've managed to lose 22 lbs so far!! Yippie!! I am hoping to lose another 10 lbs before I have plastic surgery with Dr. Sauceda in Monterrey Mexico on January 7th. Wish me luck!!
