Melissa A.

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Today I weighed in at 173 and that puts me in the normal range for BMI(i'm 5'10''). I thought it would feel different to be "normal", a little more exciting. The whole body image thing is soooooo hard, I have days where I still see myself as the person I was before surgery. Sometimes when I'm walking around i feel really self conscious like i'm still 295 pounds and people are staring at me. I have 13 pounds until goal and i'm scared I'm going to go to far with the weight loss because I have such a distorted view of myself. I see so much more than 13 pounds when I look at myself and i've already started trying to talk myself out of my original goal and am considering getting down to 150 which may be to low for my height. My doc wants me to stop at 170. Oh well, i've started back at the gym seriously so i'm sure building up muscle will help. I know that's part of my problem, I really slacked on my workouts the last two months since school started so i've lost some muscle tone. I just feel so flabby all over and am hoping that building my muscles back up will help. Anyways, yay me, I'm normal!!(i'm gonna try to force the positive self image!)

It's been 7 1/2 months since my surgery and I am 15 pounds away from goal.  I still struggle with the whole body image thing, some days are better than others.  It's just so weird to think i'm 15 pounds from where i originally wanted to be because when I look at myself sometimes I still see all of the weight still there.  I hope I'm satisfied when I get to my goal and not want to go further because I don't think I would look healthy.  As it is, my goal is 10 less than where my doc told me to stop.  So far I have been really lucky with my skin, it is not too bad.  I'm still going to want some plastics, I'm planning on a tummy tuck and a boob job.  My arms are also a possibility but are last on my list so i've got a year and a half to work on them with weights to see what i can do.  I'm planning on plastics at the end of May next year so I'm starting the research process so i know what docs i'll want to consult with in march and april.  I'm pretty certain i want to go with silicone so it may take some time to find a doc that is working with silicone for first time patients.

Today I weighed in one pound less than my lie weight on my drivers license...my lie weight from when I was 16!!! I'm not sure when the last time was that I weighed this amount, must have been when I was around 13 or 14. i'm wearing a size 10 and am getting really close to my goal. My doc says 9 more, I say 19 more so we'll see. I've consistently been losing 10-14 a month which i'm really pleased with at 7 months out. Maybe i'll make my goal by thanksgiving!!! probably not, i'm sure it will slow down a lot the closer i get to goal. everybody says the last 10 pounds is the hardest. I need to think about getting a new drivers license, i almost couldn't get into my favorite bar the other night! I go all the time, they always have the same bounce, and all of a sudden he doesn't recognize me and starts quizzing me about the details on my id. It blows my mind a little bit how differently I'm treated now, everybody is so much friendlier now that I look "normal".

it's been 5 1/2 months and i have lost 103 pounds, i don't think i have weighed this much since i was 15. this really has been the best decision of my life! i would like to lose about 30 more pounds. my weight loss has slowed down the last couple of weeks, but that is to be expected. every now and then i catch a look at myself and am totally startled. can't quite believe it's me. when i make a point of looking at myself in the mirror i don't really see a loss, but if i catch a glimpse i can see what every body else can see. gotta say, i'm looking prettty good!! and feeling even better of course.

my birthday was earlier this week and i am not drinking again for quite awhile! i had to work the next day and it was not fun. before surgery i had sure fire hangover cures: a can of coke and something carby and greasy. can't do that anymore! it was a lesson learned, i really shouldn't be drinking right now anyway...i'm losing so great right now, don't want to do anything to disrupt it. it was really nice to go out and not be so self conscious and to want to dress up and put make up on. it's been a while.

Had my 3 month check up today, and I'm down 70 pounds! I've already lost 50% of my excess body weight, I couldn't believe it when I looked at the scale. Labs were alright for the most part, have to add more calcium and my white blood count was a little low. she said that is very normal after this surgery so i'm not worried yet.

well, i decided to go to nursing school, and i start in august! i'm really excited and just a little stressed about my health insurance. I can work just 20 hours a week and have an hmo plan through my job. I'd like to find an affordable(yeah right) ppo plan so i don't have to work while i'm in school. i'll look into it next week, can't stomach any more forms right now. Today i fit into a large skirt, it's stretchy of course, but it is still a large!!

I am down 51 pounds! People that don't know about the surgery are being super supportive and complimentary, almost feel bad for not letting them know. almost.

funny how i can't see my weight loss. my clothes are falling off, so I know it's working, I just can't see a difference when i look in the mirror.3 month appointment can't get here fast enough, I'm dying to know my weight! Went to dinner last night and actually fit in the booth with room to spare!

got to start on regular food this week and so far so good. get to go back to work tomorrow, finally!!! bought an elliptical machine that is getting delivered this afternoon so i can finally really get going with the excersize. i've been walking the dog everyday but it's time to step it up. had my 1 month follow up yesterday and i've lot 39 pounds the last six weeks. 21 of it was after surgery, which i thought was kinda slow. My doctor said i've lost 29% of my excess body weight and that i was doing great. in fact, she was afraid i might be losing a little too fast and really reinforced eating and getting in all of my protein. i've been doing great with my protein and water since i started on soft foods so she was happy about that. I threw away my scale because i was becoming slave to it.