I have no one to blame but myself

Feb 28, 2011

You know, Beloved (which is what I call all people because I think that we should all be loved), self realization in my world is a funny thing. To be perfectly honest with myself, it sucks!

So, on Friday, I had my 2nd visit with Dr. Srikanth. I actually met with his PA, Tina, who all the bandsters call the "Fill Girl." She obviously had not heard this term, because after the look of shock left her face (when I clarified that I meant fill as in Lap-band and not feel as in feeling up a patient) she laughed until she nearly cried.

Then we got down to the serious business. Since my last visit, I've lost 1.8 pounds. I think that both she and the nurse expected me to conjure up so far fetched, uber-irrational tale for them. I simply said "Dr. Srikanth was right". Carbs are hell:!

My first month of weight loss was awesome because I was lowing my caloric intake. That difference was a big one and was responsible for the initial weight loss. However, in an effort to "save money" I decided NOT to throw out the carbohydrates in my house. BIG MISTAKE. Because I ate them. And I didn't increase my level of exercise..well...I wasn't exercising all that much anyway...so.....it's no wonder.

So..I'm back on the wagon. I am currently exercising 5 days a week (I started this 2 weeks ago..while I was eating carbs). Right now I am doing 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of weight training and abdominal exercises per session. The ab thing...I am feeling things contract and spasm in my midsection that are new to me...I am now taking my protein seriously, and am on my shakes 3 times a day.

And this weekend...I gave ALL OF THE CARBS IN MY HOUSE AWAY....Gosh I'll miss my Rice-A-Roni, it truly is the San Francisco Treat (ding, ding)!

So....OK...I f**ked up a bit, but at least I realize it.  This weekend was tough for me, and I want to share with each of you how I got through it. I logged onto this site, and I read your blogs, I looked at your pics, and I got a bit emotional. It's weird to be virtually surrounded by people who actually understand what I am going through. It dumbfounds me. I need to make some new friends on this board to keep myself motivated. For being vulnerable enough to share, I thank each of you. I want you to know how much good it has done me.

But I just had to share..now..I am off to write a paper that's due in 90 minutes, Beloved!

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