michelleshocked

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Ok I am in day two of the liver shrink diet that Dr. Weaver has her patients go on to make the liver less fatty.  Basically it is eating Weight Watchers size portions of fruits and veggies, a protein bar for breakfast and lunch and 3 ox of lean meat at dinner with like 6 crackers.  Needless to say I am starving.  I had tried to ween myself off of large portions but i am a big girl and i eat alot so that was hard.

The other problem is that my sister and I are fighting and i have moved out to my mom's until i move into an apartment on August 10th.  My surgery date is August 16th.  so yeah i am very stressed out.  plus my sister took back the computer she gave me so i dont have a home computer ......so i am sorry i havent been updating everyone.... 

i dont think i am going to have time to worry too much about the surgery which is a blessing in disguise.  i cant wait til the 5 weeks off of work i will have to chill out.  

i have been preparing for this mentally for a long time so i am basically just praying and meditating everyday ...... i think i will sail through the surgery experience and have by second re-birth (i was just recently saved so maybe the surgery will be my THIRD re-birth, hahah).

have to get back to work,  busy busy

Here is some info I collected from this site:

• first week after surgery is about staying hydrated- Water, sugar free jello; sugar free popsicles  
• Yes, you will be tired -- I was tired today and haven't done anything at all. For my first week it was 3 ounces of some type of fluid every 30 mintues -- Celestial seasoning teas are caffeine and sugar free -- you should be able to drink chicken broth -- beef is lousy.

• protein drink called Isopure No Carb -- don't purchase the orange (nasty) the grape; apple melon and alpine punch are good. add a hole bottle to half a bottle of water and drink that so at least you are getting some protein. poured it in tea as well. 

•  Centrum has a chewable multivitamin and also going into your second week you should start taking Calcium Citrate -- chewable wafers --these things are huge.

•  My surgeon prescribed previcid for the first 30 days and I take it each morning on an empty stomach followed by the multivitamin and I wait a couple of hours and then take the Calcium with something to eat.  My surgeon stressed that the Calcium should be Calcium Citrate and not that other stuff. 

   

•  So far, I've located every thing I need at the Vitamin Shoppe

•  Just walk as much as you can.

•  Get some liquid Tylenol for the pain and that will help. We were told to purchase that even though they prescribed a liquid pain med to take home with me."

• CHAPSTICK for lips when wake up post-op in hospital.  They may not let me have water/ice chips so chapstick is handy.

   

   

Man, this has been a looong journey for me.  This time last year I had made the decision to do WLS however in September of last year I really cracked down on the work after I tore my anterior cruciate ligament in my left knee.  My knee got better but lately it has been popping and wobbly.  Not too bad but just enough to call my attention to the fact that my body doesnt work as well as it used to (and I am only 32!!). 

I have been in therapy for about 4 months.  In order to go to my therapist I have to work Thursday nights which is when my WLS support group meets.  I will have to ask my nutritionist what I can do about not getting to go to group.  I miss it. But I think therapy is working wonders.  I have learned my emotional triggers that cause me to eat and have now started to desire anything OTHER than food during times of distress.  I have been reading lots of books like:  Feeding the Hungry Heart, Keeping the love you find, and You can Heal your life.   I think this process is a full circle one.  I am getting rid of my fat that has both served me well and caused me pain. It is a bittersweet goodbye.  I am neither excited nor upset about the coming surgery because it is both a good and bad thing for me.  I have only known one side of myself and I am just being introduced to the new me and it is a big change which then causes stress and the cycle moves on and on.....

I have far more confidence than i ever had before therapy.  I am confident that i can care for myself even when i goof up and eat the wrong thing.  Mainly I am working on feeling safe in my body and my surroundings and not using food to feel safe and comforted.  I also look for what is causing my distress instead of swallowing food to silence it.  I am using my voice to speak my fears out loud instead of wearing them on my body through my fat.

So tomorrow I go see Dr. Weaver and get my date for surgery. I hope it is in the next two weeks.  I have not been doing well with eating.  I have been testing the "liver shrink diet" and lost 20 pounds but put it right back on once I stopped "testing" it so well.  hahah.  I am still under or at least at my weight that Ginger took over 8 months ago...so that is good for me ..this year i didnt GAIN any weight.  :)

oh my arms are sore.  i just went swimming at the gym.  i did this thing where i punched the water, twisted a bit while pulling my legs up in a march. did that for 7 minutes and did 2 laps along with other water aerobic type stuff for abs.  Heart rate after washing machine move-112 (28x4).  heart rate after that and 2 laps-120 (30x4)
I like working out. 

still not eating well.  breakfast- pure protein bar & 16oz of water.  snack- protein shake and 4- 25 cent bag of chips.  lunch -fet. alfredo microwave pasta & 16 oz water.  snack- protein bar & 16oz water. dinner- bologna sandwich & chips/salsa & 16 oz water.  (total water in by 9pm). 

Ok so i set out to go to the gym today.  I rode the bike for 10 minutes at Level 2 and then I did the treadmill for 10 minutes at 2.2 speed.  I like to mix it up cause I get bored very easily.  Then i did a lat row 3 sets of 15 and a reverse lat row? 3 sets of 15 both weights were 10lbs I didnt check just left them on what the other girls did because I just wanted to throw in something different to mix it up.  I had planned to then go in the locker room take off my workout clothes and put on my swimsuit.  But for some reason I was extra sweaty and didnt remember that my WHOLE body sweats, if you get what I mean.   Plus since i havent been drinking enough water lately i felt way dirty whereas later in the summer when i am drinking a lot of water the sweat feels good to me.  
So i ditched the swimming which made me sad cause i wanted to do that instead of the other stuff but when i do the water aerobics i just dont feel as if i worked out hard enough.  Plus all the jumping of water aerobics and the treadmill I knew I would have bathroom issues (the term for it is "trots" but that is the slang).  PLUS I had eaten salsa for lunch and that always makes my stomach ..ahem.."very active".

Speaking of eating I have not been doing well lately.  However I am hovering at my high weight.  I ate regular tortilla chips and salsa, 32 onces of Coke, a bologna sandwich with light mayo and 2 wheat bread slices, about 10 baby dill pickle and a banana.  That was just BRUNCH!  *sigh*

Oh and the folds of my skin are giving me problems (yeast).  I was looking in the mirror thinking about what I would have to get plastic surgery on after WLS.  I already have sagging breasts, floppy arms and a pannus so I know even before hand that those will only get more ugly as I lose weight.  I was downheartened.  I can hide the bad parts of bing fat (like being smelly cause of hard to clean areas) from other people and myself well.  I usually ever make a list of all the things that bug me about being fat but with this surgery I have had to look at those things up close.  I really wish I had never done this to my body (gain all this weight that is).  It isn't pretty.

Since I have to wait until Dr. Weaver has her baby to have my consult with her on July 6, 2007, I have decided to see a therapist.  I have read two books on the surgery and was shocked at the description of the emotional changes that a patient goes through so I decided to get working on that.  My first appointment with the therapist is next Thursday and I may see her weekly.  I told work today and my boss they were very supportive.  However, I haven't talked to some of my friends for awhile (the men in my life) even though i have called them. I dont think it has anything to do with the surgery but i realize i dont have very good friends right now.  i hope to find a way to meet more people who will hang out with me or let me call them late at night in place of snacking.  I am on spring break this week from graduate school but have some papers to work on.  I DID finally do my taxes.  All in all I am very busy and stressed and bummed that the surgery will be this summer and not right now.  I am just hanging in there.