Mishay36

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Im going to do it. Ive decided. I have no idea if I will ever even be approved. But to me the first hurdle was to make up in my own mind that I wanted to.
I require a desperate change in my life. If I dont I know I will succomb to all the horrible disease and death that took members of my family. Diabetes, Heart disease.
I have a beautiful, wonderful family that mean so much to me. I realized that in order to walk, swim, play on the beach, climb the trails in the mountains that I have to lose a considerable amount of weight.
I am allready holding hands with diabetes, metabolic syndrome, extreme joint pain, obstructive sleep apnea and just plain feeling lousy.
One of my favorite things to do is to take a bubble bath. Its a relaxing treat to me that I have enjoyed all of my life. But a couple of weeks ago, following a long bath I could hardly get out of the tub. Talk about having your breath taken away! It was a huge eye opener.
I cant enjoy the day to day things that someone much smaller than I can.
* I struggle to tie my shoes
* I have trouble getting up off the floor
* I cant walk one flight of stairs without being winded
* I cant walk long distances
But its time for a change. I want a long list of things I can do.
I was never overweight until I had my first child. By the end of my second pregnancy it started getting out of control.
I visited all of the weight loss possibilities.
I did WW four times, I tried Atkins, Southbeach, Dr Phil, The Biggest Loser Diet, I tried limiting myself to 35 grams of fat, to under 1200 calories, I tried nothing but exercise. I tried weird soups, only meat, only fruit. The thing is some or all worked to some extent. 5-30 pounds I could lose. Only to gain it back and then slip back down that slope of self defeat.
But when you start getting diagnoses. When the doctor tells you your going to die young if you dont change. You kick yourself for not being able to stomach the magic soup to lose 100+ pounds or why cant you just put the fork down and walk away??
Portion size is a problem for me. I was taught you have to clean your plate. So I did.
But this is it! Ive decided I need a serious tool. I need help! And Im not going to worry what others say. I only need the support of my husband and friends. And I will fly. And Im so thankfl for all of the new friends I am meeting who have been down this WLS road before. I am looking forward to my journey.
God Bless you all and I look forward to getting to know everyone better.

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I attended the Weight Loss Surgery Seminar tonight at the hospital. And after listening to the doctor for and hour and a half I was psyched. I still dont know what surgery I think would be best. I like the idea of the lap band because of the recovery time and such. But afterwards I stayed to ask one of the cooridinators a question and she told me with my insurance I will be required to do a doc supervised weight loss program for a year. Such as seeing a dietician for three times per month for  12 months and then meeting with my fam doc once a month to follow up. And then My insurance may pay.. She said that all of the WW and other plans dont count even though my doc knew about it. I am so upset. I know how hard it is. I have been doing this weight loss  thing for years to no avail.. I can lose 30 pounds but I cant keep it off. Why do I feel so discouraged. My husband seems to think if I just eat popcorn and a salad everyday and fast maybe 1 or 2 days a week I will lose all the weight I need to.  UGGGGGGG!!!!!

I just want to cry. Doesnt anyone understand???

Hello. 
This is the beginning of me trying to permanently do something about this struggle I have had for 20 years now. The stuggle with my weight began after the birth of my first child. Before then I was a tall skinny girl who never had a problem with scarfing down at a buffet. I never gained weight. Now I can gain weight from looking at food.:-)  Now after years of WW, liquid diets, low carb, no carb, no sugar, low fat diets I need to do something before I get too sick to do so. 
I am married and the mother of two teens. I look in the mirror and I dont recognize that woman. If I dont look at me I feel the same as I did when I was younger. My body aches pretty badly though. I just cant handle the weight. The stress on my bones and joints. 
I had to have a TKR in 2003 because of a injury. Since then I have had to havec a revision of that knee. I am also struggling with pain in the other knee. Last year I found out I have PCOS and then they found pre cancer in my uterus and took it out. I am tired all of the time. I exercise and then hurt for days after. I snoore like crazy. I have high chol. Obesity runs in my family. Matter of fact there isnt one of them that arent. I dont want that for my whole life. I want to dance and take long walks and go up stairs without passing out.
I need to talk to people who have been on this journey and are/were as scared as I am .

Thanks