I want to but .......

Sep 10, 2009

Ok I havent posted in a while and I got a lot on my mind. Ok I had a mamogramand and a ultra sound. Glory be to God that no lump was found but check this out My doctor wants a second opinion. Why? I didnt go to the appt I decided to be more aggressive about SBE. Ok I have been approved for  my Lap Band. But for some reason I wasn't excited about it at all I guess I expected to be deined . My best friend feels that I can lose the weight on my own because I have before. My new boyfriend feels the same way. I understand their point of view. I was encouaged try for another six months and if  I cant lose the weight then try surgery honestly The though of  another diet depresses me and In my mind I saying hell no. Haven't I suffeered enough! shit.I'm tired of walking like I'm 80 years old  and wearing plus size clothes  I realized that his surgery will be a lifesyle change but I need some help to lose this weight. I am a emotional eater. I have a tendency to eat my feelings away. I know that is something that I need to work on. I dont know how long a insurance approval lasts I definitly dont want to redo a nut/pysch visit I owe $600 now because insurance does not cover it.  Anyway I will continue to pray about it but leaning toward  December surgery date. so I can start off the new year right. Well unil next time OH.

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