missneca

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It has been over a year since I posted anything here. I actually am feeling like quite a failure right now. To date, I have lost only about 60 pounds. It is ridiculous. I have been at the same weight for 8 months. It can be very depressing. I know that my tool works, its my mind that needs to be fixed. I am still an emotional eater. It is hard to do when you can only eat a few bites at a time but grazing is easy. Its not even that I tend to overeat, acutally, I usually don't eat enough. I know that I don't consume enough protein,(never liked the shakes) and I definitely don't drink enough. I try, i really do but its just not enough. Hopefully things will change for the better. At least I can see that I have a collarbone now! I could never see it before.

If someone were to ask me how i am feeling right now I would say strange. I went to my 2 week follow up and had lost 17.5 pds. I am still feeling weird though. I have gone thru so many emotions. Wondering what I did to myself. I had my blood pressure checked and it has gone from stroke level to normal. I know that I did the right thing. I just can't wait to really start feeling that way. Food was my friend for so long that I really miss it. I won't miss what it has done to me though.  I have been extremely emotional these past couple of weeks and from reading the board, I guess it's normal.  I'm sure things will get better though.At least I haven't been sick at all. Had a hard time going to the soft foods in the beginning. I thought I wasn't going to be able to eat at all but after the first incident, no other problems.

So today is the first time that I have written since before the surgery. Yes, I actually did it! I am still in disbelief. Everything seemed to happen so fast. So far I am 6 days post op and feeling fine. I have had hardly any pain. That is definitely a good thing. The only weird thing is that I have only been on liqids which have consisted mainly of broth, jello, and sf popsicles. As of this morning, my water tasted awful to me, and so did my broth. Just the thought of a creamy based soup is making me ill. I don't understand it. My starting weight was 274.  As of this morning, my weight was 267. I was kinda worried because i saw some other post where people have lost 20 pounds by day 7. Its no race but I definitely don't want to be left behind! Maybe I'm just a slow loser. Oh well. What can I do? 

Ok....so I'm moving in the right direction. My pcp agreed that the surgery would be beneficial for me and gladly signed my intial paperwork. I have sent the package in and am waiting for Dr. Duncan's office to contact me. I have also scheduled the tests that I need. After reading this site and I am glad to say that I am no longer afraid and am actually looking forward to having the surgery.

I go to the seminar on Saturday. I don't know how I'm going to do this. I'm scared to go to the seminar alone!! I also spoke with my insurance company to make sure the surgery is covered. I will have to pay twenty percent. I better start saving now! I also scheduled an appt to see my pcp. I can not believe that after years of being against this surgery I have decided to have it. I just pray that I am making the right decision.