Laurie D.
Hi!
I guess the best way to start on my weight history is to tell about my life.
I am the oldest of four children, having three younger brothers. I have always felt "left out" in our family. My brothers have talent, intelligence and my father's respect. Those are things I have never had. I grew up in an abusive home where my father was the ruler. If you didn't do what he said, then you got the repercussions. Unfortunately, being the only daughter, everything I did was wrong, or my brothers would hide and I got their punishment to go with mine. When a teen I was called names by my father and the boys were encouranged to follow suit. Thank goodness now I have a very close relationship with my brothers, but it came from a long hoarded letting lose of my insecurities related to them.
My mother, grandmothers and grandfathers were all over weight, likely morbidly obese and one grandmother and one grandfather severely morbidly obeses. I grew up with the "clean plate" rule and the guilt of if you don't eat you are wasteful. My mother's parents were farmers and fresh corn and beef were readily abundant in our family and I remember meals of roasting ears and porqupine meatballs. That's it, nothing else. Not the healthiest meal in time. When I was approximately 10-12 yrs old my grandfather was taken to the hospital for "maybe" a heart attack. To this day I'm still not sure what it was, but he was put on a strict diet. THAT I do remember. My grandmother weighing his food, grandpa complaining and wanting to throw out that "damn" food scale. But he did successfully lose the weight, I don't know how much but it was quite a bit, ending with his pants falling down when he stood up in church one Sunday when we stood to sing a song. His pants were too big and his belt broke. Poor grandpa!
Weight hasn't always been an issue for me, but it started to be in 7th or 8th grade. For some reason I began gaining weight. I really don't remember changing my eating habbits or anything. I was active, walking about a mile one way to school every day and walking home again. I played ball with my brothers outside and rode my bike or walked all over town (and this is not a small town in my mind, about 20,000 people). As the years moved into high school my weight kept creeping up. The verbal abuse at home was worse and I didn't fit in with many people at school. I did have friends and we did have fun, but it was with the "out" crowd. During this time my grandmother (father's step mother) died. She had been on dialysis for 7 years and her body couldn't do it any more. She was a big part of our family as she lived in a different town and spent several days a week at our house to keep from having to travel lots after her dialysis. She was SMO but I never do remember anyone bugging her about her weight. I can't say she over ate either. At the end of high school I was about 180 pounds and wore a size 18-20. Larger than any of my friends, but not that I was really feeling big (think about those who I lived with and I felt in time).
When I started college I began to lose weight. I hadn't done anything to cause it, was still walking as much as usual and eating the same and everything. By the end of my paraprofessional (2 yr degree) in Early Childhood education I was wearing a size 9 and weighed 132 pounds. I was beyond thrilled. I had also met my now husband and was very happy.
Going from that point to the present I have added at my highest 180 pounds to my 5' 4" body. I have had knee arthritis since college due to surgeries that I had to have on my knees in high school. I had five daughters in quick succession, much to the surprise of my knee surgeon who had told me not only to change my professional choice due to my knees but that I should not have any children. He said it would ruin my knees and I wouldn't walk again. Guess I had to prove him wrong. I thank God everyday for the grace he gave me by letting me be able to have my girls, Kimber (bd 6-19-1986); Danette (5-27-1989); Jenifer (5-3-1990); Tiana (5-6-1991) and Niki (10-6-1992). At this point I was approximately 260 pounds and as they grew up, the pounds crept up. I was starting to have more and more problems with my knees, but because we didn't have insurance I refused to go to the doctor.
July 2, 1998 changed my life completely and made me look closer into my own life and weight. My mother passed away suddenly at 56 years old. My youngest daughter was 5 years old and mom and I had made all kinds of plans of things we could do while the girls were all in school. We never were able to do any of them. Mom had gotten an infection and eventually the stress of putting a shunt into the main vein to her heart caused a clot to move and cause a heart attack. At this point I decided to make a more secure and heart felt aim at getting healthy and losing weight, though I had done this repeatedly in the past, the last time ending up with getting pregnant and me giving up. I started Richard Simmon's Food Mover program. And holy moly it WORKED! I was thrilled. I was 280 pounds when I started (my mom's death) and in a year I was able to get down to 208 pounds. THEN it happened. My knees gave out, I could no longer exercise, walk very well or anything else. I gained the weight back and for the next 6 years fought myself with the weight. Always promising myself I could do it, no problem I had done it before. Now a roller coaster ride was happening. I tried it all, Atkins, South Beach, Cabbage soup diet, diabetic diet (via doctor), cider vinegar ...and more. Nothing seemed to work, I couldn't keep on anything for more than a week or two. Then I would quit, trying again the next month. It got to the point that my hubby and kids were getting mad at me, "either diet or don't we don't care which you choose but do something and STICK with it!" So I gave up.
In 2003 I had to give up and apply for disability. I couldn't work in any capacity, sitting or standing made my legs, knees and back hurt so bad I was in tears. I was accepted after about a year. Then I could get help! I got medical coverage and started working on getting ME back to health. Things were going good, my arthritis pain was getting under control, my depression was under control and I found that I also had fibromyalgia and that was the cause of my other pains. Then a little over a year ago I went to the doctor's office for one reason or the other (don't remember exactly) and he point blank told me that if I didn't get my weight under control (at that time I weighed approximately 310 pounds and creeping steadily up) I wouldn't have 10 years left so I'd best get either my weight under control or my "papers". My daughter was expecting my first grandchild, I had four other girls still in high school and my doctor hits me with THIS? WTH?! So I went home and pondered what to do. More dieting. Ugh!
A neighbor going to nursing school and I were talking one day and I told her what my doc had said and she told me about the lap band. I started doing research. Wow! This sounded perfect for me! I set up a time to get a consult and go to the information session. Walking out of the information session I was shocked, there were more surgeries that were available and the DS spiked my interest. I started doing research while completing tests and such that Dr. Sudan requested as well as the 6 month diet required by my insurance.
Within a month I had decided that if I had wanted to eat pureed food the rest of my life, I would eat baby food, but with the DS I could have my cake and eat it too so to speak. I could live with the consequences that I was seeing for it, but the more I looked into the lap band, the less likely it seemed to look like it could / would help me. I needed something that redefined my stomach and continued to work for me / with me for life. I didn't like the idea of always having to go and have a fill or removal of fluids, stuck with a needle every time. Then more and more other negatives played up and my decission was made. I wanted a DS.
Now I have a date, June 5, 2008 and I am so excited. My tests and dieting are done. I didn't lose but 2 pounds in 6 months no matter what I tried.
I am now on my way to a better, healthier life that I can live for a long time! AND enjoy my grandson and any other grandchildren I may get in the future.
Thanks to OH and Danielle, my neighbor, I have discovered that I don't have to die SMO and young!
