Momof2Grls
I have always been over weight for as long as I could remember. I have looked back on pics and old home videos and was always this cute blonde headed chunky kid. As I got older it got worse, I got teased in school and always felt horrible about it. Throughout my teen years the teasing really didn't happen as much. I never had an issue getting a boyfriend or making new friends. Now that I am almost 30 yrs old (Sept. 2013) I want and NEED a change. I am just not comfortable in my own body anymore.
As of right now only 3 people are involved in my process, which is my mom and 2 of my 4 best friends. I am at the point in my decision that I honestly feel ashamed. I was told by the psychiatrist that this feeling is pretty common in the beginning stages. I haven't decided when I will let others in on my plan as of yet. But for me I don't want this to be the last resort yet. I am changing my way of life including my diet and exercise. I would love to lose 15-30 lbs before having surgery. I would like my goal weight to be 195-180.
I decided that lap band was the best option for me because I was afraid I would get too thin. I think with the dropping so much weight and most of the time getting down to 130 and under scares me. I think I wouldn't look right that thin, and the fear of looking like I am sick would make me miserable. I want to be a healthy size 12! For me this decision most comes from me wanting to much more involved with my children. I am not active obviously because I am so much overweight. I want to take my daughters to Disney World and experience the rides with them, not sit on the side smiling wishing I was enjoying it. I want to run around playing soccer with my daughters and not feel winded, and like I'm about to pass out. I feel like my weight is holding me back from being in love again. I want to have confidence that I look great at the pool, not that everyone is staring at me saying how gross I look. And secretly I want to wow my ex and make him regret what he let go. LOL is that so wrong of me?
I decided to come here for moral support from anyone willing to give it to me. I hope to meet some wonderful people on my new journey!
