motzyd86

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 As of today I ame 198lbs not sure what I posted before but I know it is about 268 when I started this journey.  I do have to say it is very hard to deal with this wt loss. Not only do you have to prioritize your life but you have to change your life style. I still have yet to connect the old me with the new me. I still see myself as plus size. I have not changed as a person and I am still me. Its the other people who have changed towards me.  I have recently noticed that Im hybernating. Isolating myself. I still have the same behaviors as when I was heavy.  Im finding myself gambling or shopping to cope with my anxiety or depression since I cant eat. 
OMG, how I do miss my food. It was my comfort, my friend , it filled my void. It was there when I was bored , happy, sad. Anything you name it. Know I find myself being lonely and depressed with a void. 
I have prayed so much and asked God to help me find something to fill this void. I have turned to my boys and asked them to help me not go to the casino. Its sad that you are not prepared for the wt. loss just the excitement of being skinny. Did I forget to mention the lack of clothing attire. I have lost so much wt. I had no clothes what so ever. My aunt had to buy me a new wardrobe which was awesome but I didnt even know I looked horrible :(. 
Either way, I am in a new path as of today. Accepting my new me, my new life , my new challenges. Its ok to wear tight clothes no one is going to laugh at me. I can sit anywhere. 
Its ok not to eat with friends even if they insist.  I love the new me and I love myself :)
what do you guys think?

Hi Everyone,
I apologize for not blogging on my own group. Ive been dealing with my wt lose and actually been hybernating. No excuse though.
The issues Ive been having have to deal with everyones issue pertaining to my weight lose.
What does my wt. loss have to do with you? Why do I have to occommadate your needs? Im still me! havent changed one bit just my dress size. Why cant it be like old times? Stop talking about my weight loss.
So this is what Ive been having to deal with. I have come to terms with the fact I have to be around differernt  people and different groups. Didn't realize how much wt. loss affects your life.   Im trying to get my feelings under control thats why I logged on . Please forgive me for not being ontop of my blog.  Thanks

Hi everyone,
Forgive me for not writing. Im doing really well. seems Im losing alot of inches but my wt stays the same. I have lost 26 lbs but I dont care. went from a size 22 to 16. Yes, thats awesome. how is everyone?

Well, its not as bad as I thought it would be. What hurts is the air that stays in your body. They have to blow you up and so, the gas stays with you and its so painful. Its my forth day and its tough just drinking liquids and having jello. But, all is good. Thanks everyone for your support.

Im going in, Im so excited and I hope everything works out good. I hope everyone has a great day today and  Im praying all goes well. Ill keep you posted. M

I will soon be having my surgery. As a matter of fact tomorrow. I was dreding the liquid diet but I started it early. I was about to hurt someone the first day.  I managed to go through the first day. Then the second day came and went. Im on the forth day and I get a call to come to surgery in three days. Oh Geez.
Well, Im so excited but today I had a cinco de mayo fundraiser and had Nachos and chips n salsa and quesadillas all in front of me.
I held my ground and did not give in.  Boy, am i  proud of myself.  This friend of mine who is half my age said to me " Maritza, If you cant even handle one day then you cant handle the lap band" Boy that woke me up.
Well, My life will be changing tomorrow, So either I can make the same old choices and feel horrible the next day or I can choose to change my life with this tool and live the life Ive been wishing for , for twenty years.
I CHOOSE LIFE , how bout you. Your friend M

Yesterday was me first day on this liquid diet. OMG I about died. Unbelievable. I cant believe the will power one must have in order to go through with this.
The shake was nasty the jello was nasty, the broth was nasty but I did it.
I sneaked a grilled chicken thigh at midnight and felt hella bad.
So today is a better day. Got a different shake, more jello, different soup, and Im good.
The caffeine is also hurting me. Mass headache but its gone away.  I have alot of support.
2 days down 15 to go. M

Im so excited, started bloging and a group hope this helps me.

Geez, after reading some of the stories its amazing how much I have in common with some individuals.  My friend referred me to this site and I love her for it.  Im in the process of getting the lap band. Im so excited. I hoping and wishing that it gets approved. Ive been struggling all my life with this and its time I stop. Live my life to the fullest. Yes , live my life and not anyone elses. :)